


The adventures of Tony Sparrow - Avengers fic

by DefTheMasked



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Aromantic, Asexual Character, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Avengers Family, Because of Reasons, Chatting & Messaging, Child Abuse, Crime Fighting, Don't Like Don't Read, Everyone Needs A Hug, Family Bonding, Family Issues, Fix-It, Fluff, Found Family, HYDRA sucks, Hamilton References, Hurt/Comfort, Hydra (Marvel), I Am Sorry, I Don't Even Know, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I am shameless yet also ashamed lol, I'm Bad At Tagging, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, Kidnapping, LGBTQ Themes, My First Work in This Fandom, Odin's A+ Parenting (Marvel), Original Character - Freeform, Panic Attacks, Redemption, SHIELD, Sad, School, Self-Insert, Sentient Infinity Stones (Marvel), Slow To Update, So much WORSE, Swearing, Team Dynamics, Teenagers, The Author Regrets Everything, The Author Regrets Nothing, The worst hasn't even happened yet, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, Tony Stark is Good With Kids, Trans Male Character, Verbal Abuse, Why Did I Write This?, You guys are going to cry so hard, no i'm not
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-22
Updated: 2020-11-03
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:54:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 85,697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26046874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DefTheMasked/pseuds/DefTheMasked
Summary: When Tony fell through a portal into the alleyways of Germany moments after Loki causes chaos there, his life is changed drastically. While trying to survive, cussing out deities, and making friends with superheroes, he has a lot on his plate. Especially since he still has to go to school. Yes, a superhero world, but he still has school. How fun.
Comments: 14
Kudos: 17





	1. Death has a melody I can't hear yet

**Author's Note:**

> And here comes the first chapter. If you're wondering why this is posted way later then on my other accounts on Fanfiction and Wattpad was because I completely forgot about AO3... So I made an account and am going to post all 3 chapters I have now. Hope you enjoy it.

I was walking down the street that let to the bus station I used to go to school. My backpack and my duffel bag were filled with stuff I'd need at my school trip. I'm in my exam year and my school had a trip for the exam years every year. I chose to go to Dublin with my best friend.

We decided to prank more people by calling each other boy's names. I was Tony Junior and my friend was James bond. I didn't choose mine, okay maybe only the Tony part. I'm not that small to be called a junior. And my friend's last name is bond so we just decided why the fuck not? We were both girls but we looked a lot like boys so we decided to mind fuck people.

Anyway. It was early because we had to be at school at around 6 am. My Body was tired because I hadn't slept the previous night because of my nerves. The air was cold because of the October weather. Yet not too cold so you didn't necessarily need a thick jacket.

There was some mist around me so seeing in front of me was a little bit difficult. My black glasses were foggy because of my breath that fanned my face. It was cold enough to see it rise and disappear again.

My black star wars hoodie kept the cold at bay, underneath it I wore a black shirt and a necklace with the heart pirates symbol from one piece on it. My pants matched my hoodie, they were also black, they were normal like jeans yet not too snug or loose. Just comfortable.

I calmly walked down the path past the cemetery and the dog park when I slipped. I lost my footing on the wet ground and fell forward.

Realizing I was going to fall I reflexively threw my hands before my and closed my eyes.

But I didn't stop falling when I thought I was going to stop.

**"Fall child, fall, and keep the balance of death."**

The moment I opened my eyes I met the ground. Grunting at the impact I scrambled upright and looked around me hoping no one saw my fall.

I was met with an alleyway that wasn't supposed to be there. I turned around and saw a blue portal like thing rapidly shrinking. I hastily reached toward it but before I could touch it, it disappeared completely.

Shit.

I was left in the alleyway looking around me trying not to panic in the unfamiliar place.

I slowly turned to the mouth of the alleyway and half ran out of it. Looking around myself I saw a familiar place I never been to before. I walked around for a bit until I was on a big plaza before a museum-like building. I looked around me seeing adults casually dismissing me and walking around.

Then the panicked screaming started. People around me started to run and pushed me down in their hast to getaway. I felt far smaller than normal yet didn't know what to do. I was on the ground nearly trampled till someone's voice rang out.

"Kneel before me." came a voice at the other side of the crowd.

Everyone ignored it but I felt the horror creeping onto me. I scrambled upright trying to get the fuck away but everyone kept pushing me till I couldn't move any further.

The crowd was stopped by multiple people that were exact copies from each other.

"I said. KNEEL!" Boomed the voice of no other than Loki.

Everyone stopped running and started to slowly kneel before him. I was shocked and froze watching with wide eyes what was going on.

Loki relished it and threw his arms out and smiled. Then he started to talk.

"Is not this simpler? Is this not your natural state? It's the unspoken truth of humanity, that you crave subjugation. The bright lure of freedom diminishes your life's joy in a mad scramble for power, for identity. You were made to be ruled." Well, dude no. At least not me or anyone I know. Because fuck listening to entitled basterds.

With each word, I felt cold crawl up my spine. Then I caught his eyes. His smile disappeared and looked at me still standing.

I instantly knew that it wasn't going to be the elder german man that was going to get made an example out of. Fuck me.

I swallowed the fear and stared saying my lines. "Not to men like you."

My voice shook and rang through the plaza. Some people near me looked at me whispering to me to get the fuck down or something in german. I never was good at german.

"There are no men like me." Replied Loki smugly. As if it was true.

I was scared but I still said the next lines.

"There are always men like you." I flatly said.

Loki's smile vanished. Another Loki appeared and grabbed my arm while dragging me to the original. I struggled out of his grip but the clone had an iron grip on me.

"Look to this child and let him be an example." His voice rang out and I was filled with dread. Shit shit shit shit.

The clone held me in place while the original held up his scepter positioning it before my strangely flat chest.

I felt the power coming from the scepter and knew the result of being hit with that sort of power. 

I wanted to clench my eyes shut in horror but kept looking the god in his eyes noting how they were strangely blue and was reminded that this wasn't Loki but the one that was in control of Thanos. Fuck me, no sympathizing with the enemy.

Then the blast discharged. It hit my chest and I was surrounded by a glowing blue. I felt something punch my chest but nothing more. Startled I looked down to see no hole or wounds on my chest. It hurt and was definitely going to show an ugly bruise but no disappearing or blue vision. What the fuck.

I looked back up and saw the equally startled expression of Loki. Then there was another blue before me that started to attack Loki.

Captain America arrived. He knocked Loki down in an instant.

"You know, the last time I was in Germany and saw a man standing above everybody else, we ended up disagreeing." His voice rang out. Yeah, no shit capsicle. That was world war 2.

The clone held his hold on me and backed up changing in appearance. I tried to get away but his hold started to get bruising. Oh crap, fuck me help.

The people surrounding us immediately ran away abandoning me in the hold of the clone who had another face.

The original started to get back up facing Steve, not even looking my way.

"The soldier. A man out of time." He said smoothly.

"I'm not the one who's out of time," Steve said.

From above Cap, the Quinjet arrives. The aircraft making noise and the wind pick up around us. A machine gun was pointed towards Loki.

"Loki, drop the weapon and stand down." Came Natasha's voice through the speakers.

Like greased lightning, Loki sends a blast of blue at the Quinjet. Natasha maneuvers it just in time, giving Cap the time to throw his shield at Loki. They both begin to duke it out like kids holding a fistfight in the schoolyard. Just the imaginative things were real.

Loki flings Cap to the ground. Cap throws his shield at him in answer, but Loki swats the shield way. Cap, using all the moves of a boxer, is knocked down by Loki. Standing over him, he points the scepter's tip on his helmet.

"Kneel." Said Loki cockily above the good captain.

"Not today!" Shouted Cap out.

Cap' A flips and knocks him out with his leg. Loki grabs him and flips him over.

Suddenly, AC/DC's "Shoot to Thrill" overdrives the Quinjet's speakers.

I half relaxed even though the clone's hold didn't budge.

"Agent Romanoff, did you miss me?" Rang Iron man's voice out.

Both Cap and Loki look up at the sky. Tony flies over in his Iron man suit and blasts Loki right back to the ground. Iron man touches down. He stands up and pulls out every piece of weaponry the suit has.

"Make your move, Reindeer Games." Said Tony to Loki in a smug voice.

Loki puts up his hands and surrenders. His armor materializes away.

"Good move." Answered Tony on that.

"Mr. Stark." said cap as a greeting.

"Captain." Tony did the same.

I started to tug my arm away from the still disguised clone and spoke up when it tightened its grip.

"LET ME GO! You fucking weird overgrown green face switching man! If you don't get your hands away from me I will stab you."

I panicked...

The disguised face melted away to reveal the face of the trickster.

In an instant were weapons aimed our way.

"Oh shit, I don't want to get blown up today. Why the fuck is this even happening?" Rang my panicked voice.

The grip was getting a bit looser so I did what every other person would do. I stomped on the foot of the clone than turned and kicked it in its side. Following that movement, I held the collar of the clone and half spun and pulled with my whole body making it fall forward to the ground.

I did do almost 9 years of karate no way am I a damsel in distress. I just was not ready to be grabbed by a fictional character.

Silence followed those movements.

"Fuck you, you blue-eyed creep," I said. I was still weighed down by my bags but didn't let it bother me. My glasses were askew so I corrected it. I crossed my arms but didn't feel what was supposed to be there and looked at my chest and realized it was flat.

I was freaking out inside but didn't let it show.

"What the fuck kid." Rang the famous voice of one Tony Stark out.

"Language." Came the voice of Steve Rogers.

"Okey what even in the world is going on anymore. Why is ice pops out of the ice? Why is a brilliant mechanic here? Why is there a blue-eyed clone making man demanding people kneel? And what the fuck is that?" I pointed at the Quinjet fully knowing what it is.

I didn't get answered.

"I would like to know how you blocked my attack." Said Loki from nowhere.

"How the hell would I know. Last time I checked I was going to the bus station and then poof I appeared in an alleyway not even 10 meters that way." I pointed at the alleyway I came from.

"And then you freaking came out of nowhere and decided it was a great fucking idea to attack a child with some weird light giving scepter. If you can't aim it's not my fault." I drily said.

Feel that burn.

"Wait what hold up tyke you did what? And what do you mean alleyway?" Came Stark's voice.

I shrugged. "I'm not from Germany or wherever I am. I barely know german as it is. I was in the Netherlands making my way to school for a field trip. Then I tripped and there was this weird blue portal thing."

I got 3 stares from fictional people. What even is my life. Can someone just say this is a prank? Please?

* * *

It wasn't a prank. I was ushered into the Quinjet and no one even talked to me. I was brimming with questions but the adults were just discussing it with each other and ignoring me.

Except for the resident god of mischief who was practically glaring from his spot across of me.

My duffle bag was grabbed by someone else and lay securely somewhere while my backpack was still on my back.

I studied my surroundings and looked everywhere except at Loki. I felt his gaze glaring at me and after a while, I slumped forward and returned the gesture.

"What?" I said annoyed ruffling my hair with my right hand.

He just kept staring at me. I just rolled my eyes and looked at the adults that were looking at Loki.

I heard thunder and shaking which made me scowl and tighten my backpack securely to my back so it wouldn't fell from my back. I clenched my arms at my seat not wearing a seat belt because fuck that. It wouldn't stop any pseudo god anyway.

Thunder rumbles overhead. Loki stares out the window intently.

"What's the matter? Scared of a little lightning?" Asked Steve.

"I'm not overly fond of what follows." Said Loki from his seat. Of course Thor.

Outside the jet, a blinding light hits the jet.

Not a light. A King. Or a god if we want to be specific.

Thor opens the ramp and grabs Loki by the throat and flies out. I felt someone grab me and I was dragged out of the jet after the 2 gods.

I was tumbling to the ground without anything to help me. I made myself as big to maybe stop myself from tumbling to the ground faster than I was.

The rain hit me and hurt at the speed I was going I saw the ground nearing and realized I was screaming.

Someone grabbed me and held me to a hard chest in their arms.

"Shit kid don't squirm I go to you." Rang the voice of Tony. I cut off my screaming and realized I was half crying in hysterics.

He set me on the ground and went off to the battle after making sure I wasn't hurt.

I trembled and shakingly made my way to the others after a while. I went over a hill and then tumbled down the hill after slipping.

I rolled to the ground till the foot of the hill landing harshly on my stomach. I was hyperventilating and shaking. I saw the heroes looking at me.

"Are you okay?" Asked cap worriedly. I nodded and tried to calm my breath back. I was still shaking so I reached into my backpack and grabbed my inhaler.

I shakily inhaled and exhaled trying to catch a bit of breath so I could use it. When I was calm enough I clicked it open and inhaled deeply feeling the strange air like medicine hit the inside of my mouth. I then put it back into my bag and exhaled quietly.

I was still shaking but was breathing normally again.

I climbed onto my feet again and shivered, looking at the god who was smugly looking at me.

"You overgrown lanky black haired blue eyed annoying little shit! Why the fuck did you grab me? I almost fucking died! Where are you trying to fucking kill me? What the hell dude? That's the second time today!" I hoarsely said to him.

* * *

We were sitting in the briefing like room. My backpack and duffle bag was with me. My clothes were dirty with mud and water. I was covered in bruises and scratches and still shaking but more because of the cold. I quietly watched the others talking and watching the interrogation.

They started about the army and tracking the tesseract. I was shivering and pathetically sneezed. Banner heard me and looked at my state of being.

"You okay there kid?" He asked awkwardly.

"Jus- Just great Docter," I said. "Why- Why am I he- here again?" I asked the others.

"Well since Loki was so interested in you and from what you stated, you fell through a portal and blocked an attack from said man, we wanted to look into that." Came Stark's voice from the other side of the table.

I nodded and said:" Can I uh at least change? Or shower? Jus- Just because I am cold and wouldn't want an... a cold or- or worse a lung infection. Those are a bitch to get trough."

My teeth were chattering. I saw realization cross through the faces of the people around me.

Nathasha appeared out of nowhere behind me. I startled when she put her hand on my shoulder and flinched away from the contact.

She warmly smiled a fake smile at me and said:" Follow me this way." I nodded, grabbed my bags, and followed her.

She let me down some hallways and into a bedroom with a door to somewhere else.

"There is the bathroom. I will be waiting outside. Okay?" She softly said to me. I nodded and went into the bathroom and locked the door behind me.

I looked into the mirror and saw my bruised and scratched face. The same brown short wild hair tousled up and darker because of the dirt and grime in it. I saw some scratches at my eyebrow and on my cheek. My mole above my lip at the right side of my face wasn't visible because of the dirt.

I hastily got out of my clothes and necklace not wanting to be in them for another minute. The moment I removed my shirt I had under my hoodie I couldn't comprehend what I saw.

A flat chest. I slowly removed my pants and underwear and stared at my body.

"What the fuck," I whispered under my breath.

Yes, I had bruises forming and scratches everywhere. Yes, I was really dirty and wet but what the fuck.

I remember being female. Why the fuck do I not have the things a female has? Why am I staring at male parts?

I blinked and robotically went into the shower scrubbing myself clean till my skin reddened. I washed my hair as many times as I could until I didn't feel any dirt in it anymore.

After I was done I dried myself and my hair with a towel and opened my duffle bag.

It contained more male clothing than I ever owned.

I slowly grabbed a white button-up shirt, a purple woolen sweater, and black pants. I put on black boxers I never had before and a white tank top. I got dressed and put on my necklace again.

I rummaged through my bag and looked for my ID I had on me before but didn't find anything. I only found a lot of money in my wallet along with my stuff.

Everything was the same except for the fact that my clothes were for males.

What the fuck.

I just shakily closed my back and put the dirty clothes in a plastic bag in my bag for dirty clothes and zipped my bags. I then grabbed my bags and unlocked the door.

I stepped through and sure as hell Natasha was waiting for me.

"Are you done?" She asked. I mutely nodded and followed after her. My hair was still a bit damp so it was a little darker than it usually was and heavier too.

We turned and twisted till we were in a lab. The lab. Tony, Bruce, and Steve were arguing about everything and nothing. I meant the whole lies and shit.

My eyes flickered from person to person everyone had some input or comment.

"Nice to know you're all capable adults," I commented.

Instantly all the eyes flickered to me. I rose my eyebrow at them.

"Ah kiddo you look better than before!" Tony heartily said.

"Yeah of course I do Mr. Stark. Who wouldn't feel better hundreds of meters in the air with strange people, one of which tried to murder you 2 times and some kind of adults that don't tell you anything? I feel so freaking safe here." I sarcastically said.

"Don't talk like that to your elders." Steve scolded.

"Oh yeah pardon my rudeness. You haven't even probably introduced yourself. It doesn't matter I'll start. I'm Tony, my full name is Tony I.D. Sparrow. Nice to meet you, kind sir. Was that all?" Of course, that wasn't my real name but that was a girl's name, and I sure as hell am not using that. And hey it's a name I thought of before.

Kinda hard not to when you were a closeted trans male before you fell through a portal and suddenly had a sex change you always wished you had. Ain't life _great_?

I crossed my arms and stared the man down.

He looked uncomfortable with a kid doing this. I sighed and just massaged my temple.

"Can someone please tell me what the hell is going on?" I asked tiredly.

"We're going to figure that out."Said Stark.

I nodded and then just slumped and sat down on one of the chairs.

"Hey, I got a question. Why are 2 Norse gods here? Are they Thor and Loki or is that just a big coincidence?" I asked.

"They are gods yeah. How did you know that?" Came caps voice.

"You never read those myths? Thor god of thunder and wielder of a hammer whose name I can't pronounce and his younger brother Loki god of mischief. Almost everything matches their description so I was a bit unsure..." I trailed off making a thoughtful face.

"What didn't match?" Asked someone.

"Well, Loki's eyes were green. I mean he has the whole aesthetic going of green, gold, and black. It's just weird he doesn't have green eyes but blue eyes. I'm pretty sure he had green eyes..." I said.

"Blue..?"

"Yeah. Did no one see that?" I asked tilting my head. I shrugged and slumped forward.

The adults kept talking among themselves and I was too tired to care.

I jumped and then said:" Wait wait wait. Blue blue blue I know that from somewhere. What was it again? Blue eyes evil scepter blue blue blue. Come on think. Blue flashes blue and falling blue and voices and blue. Oh... Well shit, that's fucking wow." I blinked staring at the ceiling.

"Tony?"

"Yeah?"

"Yes, Rogers?"

I turned towards Tony Stark while he turned towards me.

"Well, this is going to be awkward shrimp." Said Stark.

"Oh yeah. Um, I'd say just call me sparrow you could be Tony. I'm used to getting called by my last name anyway." I said.

"Or you can be little Tony and I can be big Tony." He shot back grinning.

"No. Absolutely not. I am not that small for my age. My height is perfectly average." I said offended. Wait no I'm 160 cm while I'm 15. Shit that's short for a boy, isn't it?

"Sparrow, what did you just think of?" Steve asked intervening in our conversation.

"Oh that. I... That cube thingy was going to be used as a portal right? It's a blue light giving cube capable of opening portals. I fell through a portal and ended up in Germany minutes before the attack of Loki. Who has I might note blue eyes. And then the voices." I was rambling and then stopped standing motionless staring at the scepter.

I shivered, feeling awful and furrowed my eyebrows.

"There's someone else influencing this. It doesn't at up. Loki's eyes, the portal, the voices, and then the-" I choked on my words and turned around holding my hand before my mouth.

Fall. I was falling from my world and I was here. Probably the tesseract but why do I remember a voice?

"Sparrow? Are you all right? What doesn't at up?" Steve asked coming closer his hands ghosting over my shoulders.

I violently flinched back and took a couple of steps back.

"Germany why in the world would I stumble into Germany not even less than 10 meters away from Loki who held the scepter. Why was I able to block that attack. Why were his eyes as blue as the scepter attack? Why does every time I look at that thing I sense another person? Why do I even sense another person that's not how it works. What the fuck is even happening?" I was shaking and backing away from the shadows of the persons around me.

I was hyperventilating again. I hated it, it felt like I was drowning I don't want to drown I hate it I never get this scared. Focus, Tony, focus. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale.

Inhale.

Exhale.

Breathe.

I swallowed and grabbed my bag. I rummaged through it and finally found my phone.

I opened it and opened my contact list.

I saw my mother's number and clicked on it.

"Sorry but this number does not exist-"

I went to my father's number.

"Sorry but this number does not exist. Please-"

My sisters.

"Sorry but this-"

My little brother.

"Sorry-"

My aunt?

"So-"

I dropped my phone and just stared at the screen at my feet.

"What the fuck," I whispered. "Why can't I call my family? What the hell is going on?"

I felt hands on my shoulders softly shaking them and then was hit with the noises.

"Sparrow hey buddy come on what's going on come one talk to us, hey hey it's okay."

"What's going on with him?"

"Why was he trying to call those numbers?"

I looked up and met the brown eyes of Stark worriedly looking at me. I swallowed and asked:" Where am I?"

"You know that Tony. We're on the Quinjet remember?" Said caps voice. I didn't listen to him and just looked at Tony willing him to understand.

"Where am I?"

"You're in the Quinjet, above the Atlantic Ocean. We were in Germany where you and Loki met. He tried to kill you and we saved you. We took you with us after you told us you appeared trough a portal and blocked an attack from Loki. It's the 25th of April 2012. You are Tony I.D. Sparrow."

I inhaled and then Exhaled and slowly relaxed.

"Why can't I call my parents anymore?" I asked shaking.

"We don't know. Do you want me to call them?" Asked Tony.

I nodded watching him pick up my phone from the floor and typing the number on his phone. He held his phone between us and then clicked on the dial button.

"Sorry but this number does not exist. Please check if you typed the correct numbers."

"Oh..." I looked at it and felt myself shiver.

"Tony, could you please tell me what's wrong?" Asked Stark.

"I don't know what's happening. Something feels wrong about this. I saw my parents this morning before I fell trough-"

I flinched away and looked around me. Scanning the whole room. I breathed and suppressed the panic.

"You should find that cube thingy. Maybe it'll help." I said. I ignored the looks I was getting and grabbed my phone back.

I went back to my bag and grabbed my pencil and my notebook I use to draw. I quietly sat down and started to sketch. I ignored what was going on around me and just focused on the drawing I was making.

After a while, I felt a hand fall on my shoulder. I looked up and found the gaze of Natasha.

"Fury wants to talk to you." She said.

I nodded and put my notebook and pencil back in my bag and left my stuff there.

I followed after her again we walked trough multiple halls I didn't pay attention just focused on following Natasha.

We stopped before a room and then Natasha entered and I followed. Fury sat at a desk and was half glaring at me from his seat. Natasha directed me towards a chair opposite of the director and I sat down.

"Nothing." He said.

I tilted my head at him.

"We found nothing on you. Even Stark and his AI can't find anything on you. No history, no dental records, no birth certificate. In short. According to what we gathered you never existed. Now we're sure you're a human and not an alien. Yet that doesn't explain where the hell you came from."

I looked him in the eyes.

"Where did you come from Tony I.D. Sparrow?" He asked.

"Earth," I said.

"Yeah no. Where did you come from?" He asked again.

"Earth sir. I come from Earth. Like any other human being. Where the fuck else would I come from?"

"THEN HOW COME YOU NEVER EXISTED BEFORE TODAY?!" He yelled.

I shrank into myself following his movements with my eyes and sitting stock-still.

"I don't know why you can't find anything on me, sir. I don't know why this is happening. I don't know why I fell trough that portal and ended up in Germany. I don't know why I can't contact my parents and family. I don't know. Okey? I just want to go home." My voice broke at the end even though I tried to not let anything bother me.

He sighed and massaged his face.

"We don't know where the tesseract is. Without Loki's cooperation, we won't know how you fell trough that portal and ended up here. It all ends up with him and the damn motherfucker won't tell us a thing." He said.

He leaned forward towards me and looked at me with a serious expression.

"Why don't you ask him? Maybe the so-called god will answer a child's question."

"Me..? Why would he answer my question? I'm just a kid. He literally is a god from Norse myths. Why would he even listen to me? No one ever listens to me why would a god do that?" I asked him in disbelief.

"Look, kid. You blocked one of his attacks. Maybe he'll talk. Maybe he won't. Just try." He said.

I slowly nodded still skeptical of the notion.

He waved his hand as if dismissing us. Natasha grabbed my shoulder again and steered me out of the office-y room. I followed after her again and then we were before another room.

She opened the door and told me to go in. I nodded and got in. She closed the door behind me not entering after me.

I casually walked forward, looking at the glass container holding the god who looked at me in distaste.

"And why would they send a child to interrogate me?" He asked raising an eyebrow.

I shrugged. "Sometimes adults are weird," I said like that explained it.

"Oh?" He amusedly asked.

"I don't think this is going to work anyway. They want to know where the tesseract is. I don't think you're going to tell me are you?" I asked him.

He amusedly shook his head.

"All right then. Since you aren't going to answer that question I have another one for you." I said walking forward and then sitting down before the glass cage looking at the god.

He followed my lead and sat down comfortably.

"And what would that question be?" He asked humoring me.

I looked him in the eyes and asked: "Why are your eyes blue? In the myths your eyes are green. And all the other things told about your and Thor's appearance are exactly the same. So how come your eyes don't match?" I asked tilting my head at him.

He silently looked at me.

"From what the adults have been telling and saying, the people you touched with the scepter you got under your control. They know that because their eyes turn blue. So how come the one who is controlling them also has blue eyes when they should be having blue eyes. And don't say it's because you're controlling them your eyes also turn blue.

Your appearance doesn't match too that. You pardon me for saying it. Look like you went through hell. The sweaty and pale skin, haunted eyes and black rings under them, the underweight look. To me, it looks like someone tortured you."

I made direct eye contact with the person before me as I continued.

"So the answer to my question should be that you. You Loki, aren't the one controlling the others. No, you're also being controlled. But why? And by who?" I leaned forward watching the eyes of the person before me widen.

He didn't expect any of that from me.

"Every adult here thinks you're responsible. But they didn't even try to look at how poorly you look. I guess people will always pick the easiest way rather than the harder one. Weird that the child is the only one seeing this. Funny how that works isn't it?" I bitterly asked raising an eyebrow.

"But I guess that's silly right? A child like me wouldn't know all this right? So everything I just said doesn't count anyway. I am just one simple-minded child. So whatever I say is just made up of things based on my poorly naive view. Why would I, a simple average child know any of this?

Of course, I wouldn't that'd be the great minds here that would know this. Maybe Stark the brilliant mechanic, or Dr. Banner who is amazing at gamma radiation, or no maybe it's the great captain America who punched nazis away, or no maybe all the spies on board. Or better yet Thor who I last heard was your brother." I was rambling again.

"He is not my brother." Loki hissed.

I nodded." All right, then he's not. Family is who you choose anyway. Sometimes you get stuck with assholes, other times you get lucky and have saints. Not that it's kinda weird he looks at you with that much brotherly love. My siblings never really looked at me with that kinda face. Not that it matters a lot anyway. Maybe you're his brother in his eyes. Who knows. certainly not me."

I shrugged.

"You going to answer any of my questions or would you rather ignore me? I don't care. I'll just stick with my speculations. I'm only here because you decided I was worthy enough of your scepter of doom anyway. Maybe next time it'll hit, maybe it won't. Not that death is that much of a hassle to go through. At least make it quickly next time. A painful death that drags on would be troublesome." I shrugged getting up again.

Staring at the god who wisely kept silent I nodded.

"Of course. I hope that your cell is comfortable enough. Nice day, see you. Bye." I turned on my heel and left the room.

Natasha was waiting for me and I followed her. She let me back to the lab where I sat down on a stool again.

I watched the brilliant minds at work. I looked at their babbling of science and how to locate the tesseract.

Suddenly Banner turned towards me and asked:" Can I get a sample of your blood?"

I slowly blinked and then slowly backed away from the guy.

"What the fuck Doctor Banner." I flatly said.

He coughed and awkwardly went on trying to explain why he asked that.

"Well, you said you blocked that attack and I wanted to see your blood maybe you got an X gene, or maybe the portal messed you up or something? We only could know the answer to that by looking at your blood."

I nodded in understanding.

"Of course. Not like I never had my blood taken before. One time I was sick in this cough thingy that was a virus. The doctor got a sample and told me it was highly unlikely I had the sickness but did it in case anyway. A week later we got the results and I did have the sickness.

My luck of course. Did explain most of my symptoms and the almost chocking at night in my sleep multiple times. Man having asthma fucked that whole thing over."

I realized I was rambling and awkwardly scratched my neck.

"Sorry..."

"Ah, no it's no problem. Um just sit on the stool and roll up any of your sleeves please so I can withdraw some blood."

I nodded and did as he told. I did it on my left arm because I knew it was going to feel weird after and better my left arm than the arm I use the

most.

Banner carefully disinfected it after he found the right spot. He then withdrew the blood. I watched as the needle pierced my skin and the blood withdrew. After he was done and put a bandage on it I carefully put my sleeve down over it and looked over Banner's shoulder as he held it under the microscope.

"I never see this part of the whole thing. How does it look? Anything weird in my blood? I hope I didn't get something weird into it. That would be... Annoying." I drily said.

"HA, an understatement." Rang Tony's voice behind me. He was also looking over Banner's shoulder and smirked in amusement when I jumped because of his voice in my ear.

Banner ignored us and kept looking at my blood.

"It's still at least red, right? I'm still human right? I'm not like a robot programmed to think it's human. Right? Because I have watched too many movies to know that would never end right." I worriedly said.

Tony barked out a laugh at that. Banner rolled his head at me.

"Everything looks fine. I don't see the remarkable X-gene or anything remotely familiar to that. I only see some blue cells. I'm guessing that's traces of the portal. Some of your cells are aggressively shaking though. Maybe they're mutating? Or the blue cells are changing the atoms of the red blood cells..." He trailed off noticing my staring at him.

"What the fuck dude. I have blue blood cells now? What the fuck. What if I change into a humanoid avatar of the film avatar? I could never live with a tail! Or being a blue giant." I was throwing my hands around me. Tony was full-blown laughing at me. I scowled at him.

"Besides that is that dangerous for me?" I asked Banner who was amusedly watching our interaction.

"We need to monitor it to know for sure but for now nothing is wrong." He said crossing his arms. I nodded showing I understood the issue...

"Just hope I can go home soon after this all is done," I said scowling. I turned towards Tony and looked him in the eyes. His eyebrow rose in question.

"You are one awesome motherfucker. It doesn't matter what else anyone else will ever say. You're my favorite person and hero." I looked anywhere else after I made that statement.

What. Tony Stark is awesome. Why do you think I thought of Tony as my name? It's because awesome people are called Tony. And I will be awesome.

"Well, kid I didn't know you were a fan!" Tony laughed.

I nodded. "I mean you made a functional suit in a cave while captive, went over to clean energy which might save the world of burning to death, have a brilliant mind, made your company stop selling weapons and instead focus on helping people, you literally turned around your life and made it so much _better_. Not for yourself but for _others_." I looked him into the eyes willing him to understand that he was amazing.

"In my eyes, you're a hero even without the suit. Especially without the suit. Anyone can be in it. You make it like that someone has to be special and good to be in it. Like a standard has to be met to be as awesome as you. Not in a bad way though. More like... A special kind of drive and determination. Yeah. I... Rambled again, didn't I? Sorry." I flushed and looked to the ground.

There rang a heavy silence in the air. I turned to Banner and beamed at the men.

"You're also really awesome Dr. Banner! You're one of the most known scientists in the country because of your project on gamma radiation. I even saw you on the wall of awesome and cool scientists." I clapped my hands together and rolled on the balls of my feet.

"Of course no one is as awesome as..." I trailed off from saying the name that was on the tip of my tongue and frowned. They didn't exist yet. They were alive yeah. But not the person I admired yet.

I signed and scratched my neck.

My chest felt hollow and even though I was finally in the right body, I wondered if it was worth it. 

Was it worth getting kicked out of your dimension? Was it worth abandoning your family and friends over? Was it worth it?

It was getting lighter outside and the scientists looked tired but went on with the whole searching for the tesseract.

I sat down on a seat after a while and dozed off.

* * *

A heavy voice rang out from somewhere:" You speak of control, yet you court chaos."

Another familiar voice answered:" It's his M.O., isn't it? I mean, what are we, a team? No, no, no. We're a chemical mixture that makes chaos. We're... we're a time-bomb."

A heavy voice answered:" You need to step away."

"Why shouldn't the guy let off a little steam?"

Someone shove someone else off.

"You know damn well why! Back off!" Rang a shout. I jumped at the loud noise and fell from the chair. I looked up and saw all the mighty hero's arguing. Oh no.

Tony came face-to-face with Cap.

"Oh, I'm starting to want you to make me." He said to capsicle.

Steve spat out:" Big man in a suit of armor. Take that off, what are you?"

No no, _shut up_.

Tony snarkily answered: "Genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist." Stop arguing.

Steve answered of course." I know guys with none of that worth ten of you. Yeah, I've seen the footage." No no. "The only thing you fight for is yourself. You're not the guy to make the sacrifice play, to lay down on a wire and let the other guy crawl over you."

I started to tremble my vision going white.

"I think I would just cut the wire," Tony replied sarcastically.

Steve smiled. "Always a way out... You know, you may not be a threat, but you better stop pretending to be a hero." I jumped up and stood before Tony glaring up to Steve.

"You don't get to say that!" I said to a bewildered captain.

Tony from behind me wasn't done. "A hero? Like you? You're a lab rat, Rogers. Everything special about you came out of a bottle!" He said I could feel the hurt in the man but the comment did manage to hit the other guy.

I took a step to the side and turned so I was facing both of them.

"SHUT UP! SHUT UP SHUT UP! I AM DONE WITH THIS BULLSHIT! BEHAVE LIKE ACTUAL ADults or I'll... I'll..." I was shaking and I felt tears in my eyes. I let a frustrated sound out of my throat and snarled at them all.

"Oh, and what's a little child like you going to do?" Asked Fury challenging. I was shaking and trembling from fear and anger my emotions were spiraling.

I took a step forward and then back fumbling with my arms and my eyes were moving trough the scenarios in my head.

"I don't know! I don't know okay! Just shut up! I don't want anyone to fight all the time it's a waste of breath and only messing everyone up!" I said.

Silence reigned over them all of them assessing me like I was a thread. My shoulders hunched from their gazes and my gaze fell back to my own feet.

"Just please stop fighting..." I said in a meek voice.

The computer beeped.

Tony's voice cut in "Got it."

Thor asked: "Located the Tesseract?"

Tony competitively said: "I can get there faster."

"Look, all of us..." Steve trailed off not finishing what he wanted to say.

Thor's voice strongly rang out. "The Tesseract belongs on Asgard, no human is a match for it."

Tony turns to leave, but Steve stops him.

Steve puffed up and said: "You're not going alone!"

Tony asked: "You gonna stop me?"

Steve challengingly said: "Put on the suit, let's find out."

Tony never failed to meet this shot back "I'm not afraid to hit an old man."

Steve being angered by this said: "Put on the suit."

At that moment Banner who's looking at the monitor notices something about the Tesseract.

Banner exclaimed "Oh, my God!"

Then an explosion rang out.

Everyone is thrown in every direction. My head hit something hard and I blacked out. When I felt the roar of hulk I jumped back up swaying on my feet. I was behind a table not seen by anyone.

After stumbling out of the lab I tried to go towards the hulk even though my vision was swimming. After following the path of destruction I came face to face with the hulk.

He looked angry and was above snarling at Thor who was going to fight him.

I pushed myself off the wall and shakingly made my way over.

"Hey, buddy. What's wrong? Is Thor bothering you?" I asked.

Hulk whirled around and faced me still looking angry. Thor was going to attack him but I shook my head at him and for some reason he stopped.

"Hey hey I'm not here to hurt you look!" I showed him my hands. "I have no weapons! I swear I'm here to help buddy. Not to hurt you. I'd never hurt a friend!" I said seriously.

The Hulk stalked forward and sniffed my looking me over and stopped at my head eye to eye with me.

I smiled gently up at him. He looked at me for another minute and then huffed.

"Small hurt. Banner help small." He said and started to shrink.

Banner covered himself up and I turned around.

Natasha started to calm him down while I leaned back onto a wall and slid down.

Something warmly dripped down my face and I touched it with my hand. I pulled if before my eyes and grimaced when I saw blood.

"Ugh, I hope it's not going to need stitches. Scars are cool and all but I don't want any stitches." I said still grimacing.

"Oh no Tony are you all right? Did the Hulk do that to you I'm so sorry!" The man said scrambling to me and looking at my head wound.

"Noooo. Hulk is one green precious baby he wouldn't hurt me! This was from the... The... BOOM! yeah, that. I feel dizzy was that about? _Ugh, ik denk dat ik ga over geven..._ " At the weirded out looks I received I backtracked and tilted my head. My declaration of needing to throw up wasn't met with any disgust just confused looks.

"Oh yeah, I still speak dutch cuz that's where I was born. Haha, wait so when I talk dutch do you guys still know what I'm talking about? Because if you don't then it's like a cooodeee." I said slurring my words.

"Imma go sleep now. Kay? Night night."

* * *

I woke up gasping and screaming. My hand flying to my troat I felt people press me down.

"Let me go let me go let me go let me go let me go go go go go don't touch me!" I was thrashing and shouting and people were shouting and I was hyperventilating again. Gasping for breath that just wouldn't enter my lungs and I couldn't breathe.

An inhaler was smashed before me and I instinctively grabbed it and tried to calm down so I could breathe it in. After a second of gasping and controlling my breath enough to puff it, I calmed down and looked around me again. Someone was giving me instructions about how to do it.

I was on a table and the avengers were standing around me looking me carefully over. Tony was rubbing my back and carefully saying what I was supposed to do. Logical for the man that suffers from PTSD to know how to calm down a panic attack enough to breathe again.

I startled forward and looked everyone over.

"What's going on?" I asked them. Dr. Banner was avoiding my gaze looking guilty but I knew he didn't do anything he wasn't blaming himself was he?

"We're on our way to Stark tower. We know that Loki is there now. We were planning on attacking him." Tony said from behind me. I nodded and calmed my nerves down.

"Okay... Okay, what am I supposed to do now?" I asked tilting my head.

"Nothing you're a child you don't have to do anything at all." Said Tony crossing his arms.

"Hey, I know how to protect myself! I followed almost 9 years of karate. And yeah maybe I'm not going to hold my own against a full-blown assassin but I can take and deal a hit." I said offended.

"And age doesn't matter in the times of wars. Death doesn't discriminate. Be it a child or elder everyone dies sometime anyway." I was grumbling now.

"Good thing we're not in war than isn't it."Tony shot back. I nodded and slumped.

"I just want to help!" I said. "Not like me staying here is going to be safe anyway. Following people who can protect me or want to protect me is a safer bet anyway. I know when ods are against me or for me."

"No, and that's final." Chimed Captian Amerika in.

"Oh my God, you look like those of disappointed glare 5 video's just no. Ugh, this is a nightmare." I shuddered.

Then Tony and Thor left, being able to fly had its perks. Captain Amerika and the others went off and get an actual plane. I was grumbling in my seat. I spotted mg bags on the table and saw how they were kinda dirty but still whole.

I sighed and grabbed my backpack and looked into it. I found a foldable bat in it. I was confused and grabbed it out.

It was THE bat. The bat I designed that transformed into a scythe but this one didn't. At least not that I can see. I was really confused as I unfolded it.

It was a black bat with white bandages around the hilt for a better grip. There were in red letters spelled 'BLACKY' on one side and it looked beautiful. I swung with it a bit and it gave me satisfaction, knowing I could at least defend myself and smash skulls in now. There was a little chain at one end so I could attach it to my pants and not lose it. That's what I did.

I was entirely on my own as I sat there and then just shrugged and went out to explore. After a while of being bored and walking around when I fell.

I fell and smashed against the pavement. Not expecting this I got back up and rubbed my abused face. I looked around me bat in hand and was met with pure chaos. I ducked behind a wrecked car narrowly avoiding an alien crashing into me.

People were screaming and crying and I was feeling dizzy.

"Help! Help! Mommy! Daddy! Help!" Came a childish voice. I turned to the sound and was met with a little kid of around what 4-year-old crying and looking around himself.

I sprinted when I noticed one of the chitaru noticed him. I grabbed the kid by the armpits and sprinted the other way looking for cover. I ducked into a store with smashed windows and saw that we were the only ones hiding there.

I sat the kid down who was distinctively silent.

The kid was crying silent tears and looked a bit blue. I carefully shook his shoulders and put on a kind smile.

"Heya kiddo. I need you to breathe for me. Can you do that?" I said in a soft voice while making circles with my hands on the kids back when he let out a choked sound.

"There yeah that's it. You're doing great champ. Come on one big deep breath and one big out. There we are." He was now breathing again and color returned to his face. I carefully murmured reassurings into his ear to help him calm down.

"I can't find my mommy!" He blubbered out behind snot and tears.

Everything felt heavy around us but I kept my attention on him.

"Hey hey it's okay. We'll find her okay buddy? I just need you to be brave for me okay?" I asked him. He nodded trying to dry his face but only making a further mess. I put away his hands and dried his face with my sleeve and smiled at him.

I then looked back around us. I still had my bat. It could help a bit but not for a fucking alien. But we couldn't stay here and risk being found. We'd have to go to a subway underground. It would be safer and not risked to collapse in on itself. I nodded in determination and looked the kid in his eyes.

"Come on kiddo we're going to find a safe place and then find your parents. Sounds good?" I asked. He nodded still sniffling.

I turned around and beckoned him to get on my back so I didn't have to carry him. His small arms circled my neck and held on for dear life. Once I knew he was secured onto my back and wouldn't fall off at any given time I ran.

I ran passed wrecked cars, passed the rubble of buildings, and passed aliens.

I saw a subway station and ran that way till I finally entered it. There were a lot of adults and children panicked and crying out.

"Phillip! Son! Where are you?!" Came a worried woman's voice which made the kid perk up and wiggle off from my back. Once on his feet, he sprinted to the woman screaming 'mommy' and ran into her arms. They cried and it hurt watching it so I turned away from the scene.

I unchained my bat and carefully held it into my hands I examined the person around us and then decided to get back outside.

There were too many parents screaming their children's names and too many children asking for their parents. I couldn't stand it so I walked out of the subway back into the battlefield.

I exited and carefully made my way around the streets filled with aliens. Sometimes I passed a person in need of shelter and gave them directions to the subway. Sometimes a lone child was wandering around in search of a parent and I brought them back into the station.

Sometimes I came passed a person in need of medical assistance and had to put my hands on their wounds to stop the bleeding and drag them tot he subway so that someone could at least help them.

I was covered in dirt and grime but ran and ran on.

Till I stumbled into an alleyway and was face to face to a chitaru who cornered 2 civilians.

"OI JERK FACE!" I yelled out wich made the alien turn around. I ran at it and swung my bat into its face. It jerked back and stumbled which gave the couple enough time to get the fuck away. I tried following their example but was met with a punch in the stomach.

I lost my footing and stumbled against the wall holding it as support clenching my bat into my hand.

The chitaru, obviously pissed, stood tall before me. It didn't have any weapon whatsoever but was still able to fricking hurt me.

I bared my teeth at it smiled. "Fuck off you fucking ugly piece of waste." I spat out venomously.

It tilted it's head at me and tried to punch me again. I dodged and swung my bat again. It ducked at the last moment and kicked me in my back. I stumbled forward and lost my footing falling onto the ground.

Shit shit shit it's going to kill me. Blared trough my head.

I looked up from my position to see it standing over me and withdrawing its leg and getting ready to kick. I rolled away before it could touch me and sprang to my feet. Swinging the bat to its head while it was still in the motion of kicking me and overbalancing. My bat smashed against its head and it crumbled to the ground with a dull thud.

I was panting and so damn tired. I crumbled to the ground and fell trough a sea of blue.

Again.

I fell another blue portal and smashed into someone bigger than me.

I groaned and got up looking at the person beneath me to see furious blue eyes glaring at me.

"Okey what the fuck. Do the portals just want to kill me?" I said jumping back off of the angry god and backing away. I looked around and saw the smashed window indicating Tony had left via being thrown out of it.

Loki cocked an eyebrow at me and drawled out. "Weren't you supposed to be on the helicarier?"

"I was!" I said feeling like a child who did something wrong.

"I slipped and fell through a portal again landed into a war zone and then fell trough another portal! How the fuck did that even work?? I was like thousands of meters in the air landed on the ground and now I'm in a fucking tower! What the absolute hell?" I said throwing my arms around to empathize my point of not knowing what the fuck was happening.

I was that the god was getting angrier and angrier so I carefully backed away from him.

"Heya Loki! Nice look. Is there any chance you won't try to kill me again? I kinda have enough near-death scenarios already what if I develop a trauma? That'd suck because it would be a trauma over trauma and less sleep than I already have. And I'm rambling again. Nice to see you still have blue eyes!" I said still taking steps back from the angry gaze that followed me.

Then I brightened and motioned to the bat in my hands.

"Hey hey look what I found! It's a bat! It was in my bag. I don't have a clue how it got there though... That should be concerning but it looks awesome! Also, I smashed an alien skull with it!" I said presenting the bat in my hands to a bewildered Loki.

He looked mildly concerned about my well being. Or not. I can't tell.

My body ached and all I wanted to do was lay the fuck down. My smile disappeared from my face and I slumped.

"Fuck everything hurts." I hissed out rubbing my stomach with one hand.

"You know if I knew today was all about alien invasions and shit... I'd probably still got out of bed..." I said thoughtfully. I looked around us and the whole pseudo war that was going on below. And then I looked up at the fucking gaping hole into the fucking universe I didn't look at before.

"What even the fuck?" I said in shock dropping my bat onto the ground and looking at the fucking platoon of aliens that came and came and didn't stop coming.

"Ah, a mere mortal child wouldn't understand how this is one great day that will go down into history as human salvation," Loki said. I turned towards him and looked him over.

"You sure this is what you want? Are you _sure_ this is what you want and not _someone else_? Are you sure this is how you want to be known?" I asked sadly at the wronged god.

He looked conflicted at my question. A heavy silence. He looked like he was crumbling. Just another push.

"Because I can tell when people are lying to me and... You mister Loki, are lying. Maybe not intentionally but you are. "

I spread out my arms and looked him in the eyes leveling him with my most painfilled look.

"I may not know a lot about you, Loki. But I know hurt and lies on an intimate level. I know how it feels like to have to do something just to see another day. How to lie and lie to survive even though everything hurts and you'd rather just wish it all stopped. How the edge of a blade looked sinfully freeing and how the hurt looks of your loved ones cut deeper than that edge."

I took steps forward and let my face give the emotions I never showed.

"I know how it feels to drown again and again on fear and hatred. I know how it feels to do something you'd rather not do and feel like it's maybe better to let yourself suffer because of all the wrong things you did that. That maybe it's better to punish yourself and let everyone just assume. So I will ask again. Loki God of mischief, is this really what you want?"

I was less than an arms-length from him.

His face crumbled and he shook his head no. He looked seconds away from breaking down. He fell to his knees and wailed out a tortured sound. He looked like he wanted to reach out but at the same time wanted to disappear into the ground.

His eyes were green.

I crouched down and hugged him while he began to sob into my shoulder.

He sounded so broken.

I felt hollow and so damn tired. I heard the sound of someone walking up behind us and looked up to see Tony's confused expression. My face was carefully blank.

I nudged the slumped god who had stopped crying. He looked up with a broken expression and saw Tony. He tried to get up his cocky face but it crumbled in seconds.

I looked Tony in the eyes and said:" His eyes are green again." Tony's gaze snapped to the vulnerable god and saw the green empty eyes. He nodded, looked my in the eyes, and then he was off again.

I sat down and looked at the god who was trying to pick himself out of the mess of emotions he was.

"I... I'm sorry." I said looking at my hands.

"For what child?" Loki asked confused.

"That they hurt you," I said somberly. "No one deserves to get hurt. And from what I have gathered. You got hurt a lot. And I think a lot of people are going to blame you for this mess. Even though it wasn't your fault." I sounded tired even to my ears.

"I hate it when I'm right about these things," I said sighing and laying down looking at the ceiling.

"Why couldn't everything be simple and nice? At least then we wouldn't be in such a fucking mess of a situation." I accused the ceiling.

I heard Loki snort from where he was sitting.

There was a silence between us. I could imagine the cogs turning in Loki's head.

"Why?" He asked out of the blue.

I thought about what to say and sat up looking him in his green eyes.

I was silent and then spoke up.

"Your eyes," I said nodding to myself.

"What about my eyes?" Asked Loki.

"They looked like you were crying out for help but also like you already gave up on it too," I said looking at my hands thinking back about then.

"I am similar whit those eyes mister Loki, I looked at them for most of my life. And knowing what I want, how could I ever let someone else with the same eyes keep on suffering when I could help?" I asked him. His eyes became unreadable.

I got back up and made my way to the window. The moment my eyes were in the sky I saw the figure of iron man disappear into the portal. My breath hitched and I looked with wide eyes as the portal became smaller and smaller and the figure of Tony in his suit didn't appear.

Till he finally fell back down to be caught by the hulk. I breathed out a sigh of relief.

"It's over," I said to the silent god behind me.

I sat next to Loki on the ground and waited for the team to get back up here. I was tired and leaned onto the man's shoulder. Loki didn't seem to care so I closed my eyes and relaxed waiting for the 6 heroes to get up here.

The elevator opened with a ding and I felt Loki tense up. I opened my eyes and straightened up but didn't move away from the god.

I yawned and looked at the confused expressions of the avengers.

Tony was the first to move forward and the others followed more causally.

I smiled and said:" Told you so."

This only got them to get more confused. I rolled my eyes and looked at the tense Loki.

I put my hand on his shoulder and said clearly.

"His eyes are green now you idiots."

"Wait what-"

"His eyes are green?-"

"What do you mean son of Sparrow?" Came Thor's booming voice.

I looked at the man that was the most shocked of all. I slowly got up and made my face carefully blank.

"His eyes are green mister Thor," I said again.

"Of course my brother's eyes are green. They always were green. What does this have to do with anything?" He asked.

"Well, mister Thor. His eyes were blue before." I said crossing my arms and looking Thor in the eyes. His eyes snapped to Loki.

"Is this true brother?" He asked.

Loki who was so emotionally spent didn't even say anything about the brother thing and just tiredly nodded.

"And for those who don't believe me," I said looking the others in the eyes. "Watch the interrogation video where mister Loki's eyes were suspiciously blue. So my theory isn't that far fetched now is it?" I asked cocking my head at them in challenge daring them to say I'm wrong.

When there wasn't any reply I spun on my heel and practically ran to Tony and hugged the startled man.

"Youalmostfuckingdied!" I said feeling myself shake.

He was tense and slowly relaxed putting his arms over my shoulders.

"Well nice to know I would be missed by our resident spitfire." He chuckled. His voice was suspiciously thick but we didn't comment on it.

I breathed in and out and stepped back again.

"Now want to explain how you got here? I remember telling you you weren't allowed to come with." He sounded mad.

I scowled and said:" Fucking portals just seem to appear everywhere and try to get me killed."

This startled out a laugh from him.

"You fell through another one?" He asked wheezing.

This made me scowl harder and shake my head.

"I fell trough _two_ of them. Why else do I have fucking blood on my shirt? Sure as hell, not mine. I did get to smash alien skulls so that was a plus I guess." I scratched my neck in thought. And absently rubbed my sore stomach. I was lucky to get out of that fight alive.

* * *

We then all went to eat. We were all tired but there was an air of victory surrounding us. Some of us ate like beasts other didn't. Tony and Banner were holding a conversation about some scientific thing I couldn't quite follow, Natasha and Clint were in their world, Thor was quietly talking to Loki and Steve just looked awkward. He tried to follow the conversation of Tony and Bruce but had gone cross-eyed and had given up.

I was quietly eating not bothering with talking when I was starving. Actually, when did I last eat?

I sighed and stretched feeling tired and then slowly blinked. I saw Steve's eyes flicker to me and then shift back to his meal. He looked like a fricking child. I snorted and looked at him catching his eyes.

"Is it true that you punched Hitler?" I asked trying to start a conversation so the man wouldn't look so lost.

"He cleared his throat and nodded. I smiled.

"Nice! I wish I could have done that. But alas not everyone can be chosen to be a superhuman." I dramatically sighed and then started to laugh. His lips twitched up.

"Did you do any kind of material arts training?" I asked interested.

He shrugged. "We had a crash course. Other than that there wasn't enough time to properly train any of us." He said.

"Aw, that sucks! I mean I would have definitely loved to spar once. When I am certain that won't break any of my bones..." I said scratching my neck and smiling.

"You fight?" He asked looking interested. I smirked.

"Yep. Don't underestimate me because of my height and age, I did karate since I was around 5 and started other kinds of fight sports before that. I had quite a temper when I was small. Though that mellowed out with time and with discipline." I proudly stated.

"Really?" He asked shifting forward.

I hummed in answer. "Yeah, so if you want I can teach you some things!" I brightened at the notion.

"I don't know kid. You sure you can fight a grown supersoldier?" He challenged me.

"Certainly! It would be quite interesting and fun to say I spared with Steve Rogers." I shifted my attention wavering. Something was shifting and I didn't know what. Something was seriously wrong.

I looked at the window to maybe catch it from outside but nothing happened. I stood up and walked out the horrible feeling in my chest only getting worse. My attention was all over the street but nothing sprang out. Nothing looked out of the ordinary. More than the streets should be after an invasion at least.

My hands shook and I couldn't shake the feeling even when I watched everything around me. There was a tense second where I felt nothing just murmurs in my ears when it overwhelmed me.

My whole mind went blank and something stifled me. Chocking me and I couldn't breathe. Something was wrong and I couldn't move. I was frozen and couldn't breathe. Terrified into place.

Images assaulted my brain but I couldn't make sense of them other than pain and agony and god make it stop.

"Tony?" The hesitant voice of Steve and his hand on my shoulder snapped me out of the trance and brought me back here and everything was silent again. I was panting and shaking but the feeling and all the images were gone even if I tried to grasp from them they fell through my hands like sand. I couldn't hold them and they slowly disappeared only the emotions were left.

I shook my head and turned to Steve faking a smile. It felt shaky to me but was good enough for now.

"It's nothing, just didn't feel so good." I shrugged it off and went back inside. But I felt those emotions pulsing in the back of my head. Like a warning.

I pretended the rest of the day. Pretended nothing was wrong. Because that's all I could do.

* * *

We were questioned about everything and I answered as honestly as possible. Hell Tony even took out video evidence of what had happened even the blue eyes theory.

And slowly everyone began to understand that Loki the one leading this invasion wasn't leading the invasion. But that begged the question who did. And Loki wasn't going to talk about it. Just dismissed it as that Midguardians weren't important enough for a second invasion.

Thor tried. He did. But he couldn't talk to Loki. I was angry and so sad at the same time.

When the time came for them to go, which was some weeks later since there was legal stuff we had to go through first now that there was another threat to the planet, they were trying to get all the details and stuff like that. I had stayed at an assigned room in Shield and was sometimes asked to help. Since I was the one who figured it out. But Loki hadn't wanted to talk about it and looked like he would rather disappear. I didn't talk a lot with the others mainly because they were busy and I didn't want them to get distracted.

I was mostly just left to my own devices which consisted of figuring out how to get back home or drawing. Though the times I did see the others were fun enough. Like one time we had a movie marathon because we were all bored and not tired enough to go to sleep. It was fun.

I had tried asking about my own home but they couldn't find anything at all. No one had the same face structure or name and no one even shared my DNA. I realized I was alone. I shoved that thought away and just thanked them for trying.

It was around the end of the second month of their stay when they decided to leave.

Loki wasn't put in restraints and I was glad he wasn't. We were standing outside and everyone looked at their finest. I was just wearing a black sweater, a white blouse, and black shorts. Not that different as normal.

My hair wasn't even that wild!

Thor gave his farewells to everyone and ruffled my hair quietly thanking me.

"Just make sure they know that it wasn't really his fault and if they don't take that in account or I _will_ come up there and personally kick all of their asses, understood?" I said threatened.

He nodded in equal seriousness and then I met green eyes.

I made my way over and just hugged Loki who was standing awkwardly looking guilty and indifferent.

"Take care, and please get better Loki, okay?" I said quietly enough that only Loki heard it. I felt him squeeze my shoulder and I let go turning back to my spot.

But before I was out of earshot I heard the quiet "You take care of yourself too... Tony" I nodded and went back to my spot.

They left via Bifrost and everyone slowly left. I was left standing there watching their backs. I felt hollow.

Someone's hand came onto my shoulder and I saw Fury's blank expression. He calmly steered me into an awaiting car and I followed off to who knows were.


	2. Life has another tune than me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony goes to school now. And get's a foster family. Tony also makes friends his age. Yey.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: There are TRIGGERING things mentioned all over this chapter. So, if you do not want to get triggered by mentions of abuse, bullying, name-calling, and glossed over mentions of other topics then, please. Put this book away? Because this is definitely not a book for the light-hearted triggerable people. I just wanted to say that. Thank you.

"What do you mean adoption?!" I screamed at Fury who was wearing a mask of indifference.

"You see, Sparrow. We got a bit of a situation here. Since your parents _magically_ don't exist in this world and you didn't either, you don't have any legal guardians.

And we don't want to make a child a bigger target than you are since you can't exactly defend yourself from hitmen and other shit. Ergo you're going to be adopted by normal people. Living a normal life out of the danger zone.

And since we don't want any other country to just whisk you away you're going to stay in the states. That's why we picked the family.

Got it?" His arms were crossed and he was glaring.

I was tensed and felt hollow.

"No, you can't do that! I don't even know these supposed parents and I do have family and you can't just fucking give me away!" I was shaking my head in denial and scooted back from the man.

"I can and I will. A battlefield is no place for a child. You, Sparrow, are only going to be a liability."

A _liability_?

"But I- You can't- What about- I don't want to- why?- who- I- I" I couldn't articulate my swirling thought and emotions feeling like a cornered rabbit and betrayed. He glared at me and I shut my mouth with an audible click. Curse my ingrained response so authority figures.

"Look no one is happy about this but we did a background check and they're a normal family without any records or anything. Hell, they even have a son a couple of years older than you. And some doctors will be giving you routine checks to make sure you're healthy every year. You even will be going to school even though the term already started it's not that much of a catch-up." He said like that would change the fact that I was suddenly someone else's family.

I stayed silent knowing that it didn't matter what I said. It was going to happen anyway. My hands clenched and I felt the tears in my eyes I refused to let fall. I gave a curt nod and stayed motionless not looking up anymore hating the whole situation.

"Look, kid. I'm sorry I have to be the bad guy but this is necessary. You're a child, not a soldier or a hero. So enjoy a normal fucking life." Fury said.

Like it was just suddenly going to change my mind over this whole thing. He gave me a passport and ID. A picture of me with my normal wild hair. It held my name spelled in bold letters. TONY SPARROW and other basic stuff.

The car stopped before a normal looking house.

The door of the car was opened and I got out. One of the agents dropped my bags into my arms and then Fury was there with his arm on my shoulder again. He steered me towards the house and rang the doorbell.

And middle-aged looking woman opened the door and smiled warmly.

"Ah! You must be Tony and Mister Blake! I heard a lot about you. Please come in, come in." She beckoned us in. Fury steered us into the living room that looked tidy enough. We were seated onto a couch and then they started to talk about the adoption and which school I was going to follow.

They then started to talk about changing my name. I glared and said:" I am keeping my whole name." Fury didn't look surprised and the woman just nodded in understanding.

After a while of discussing things and this and that, Fury got up and nodded at me. He then left without looking back.

I was left in a foreign house with a woman I didn't know. I steadily ignored my incoming panic and just scanned the simple room. It looked modern yet not overly so. It was to clean and smelled distinctly like bleach.

I felt empty and out of place. I just wanted to wake up from this horrible nightmare.

The woman let out an embarrassed sound and suddenly stood before me.

"Oh, I am so sorry dearie! I didn't even properly introduce myself. My name is Ann-Marie Lawson. Please just call me Ann or aunty. I'm your guardian or parent." She said happily.

I looked away from her whole shiny demeanor sensing it was fake. Just a façade.

"I already have parents I don't need new ones," I said dismissively. Maybe they'll dump me fast if they don't like me.

I was met with an uncomfortable silence but didn't let anything show on my face.

She cleared her throat and showed a strained smile. "Why don't I show you your room? You can settle in a bit, it must have been an exhausting day for you." She went up the stair expecting me to follow her. I tightened my grip on my bags and followed her.

There were 5 doors on the next floor 3 on the left side and 2 on the other. She turned right and went to the last door and opened it. The room had a soft blue color, the bed was white, like the closet, drawer and desk. It had a soft rug on the ground and white blinds at the window that covered the left side of the room. Under the window was the roof of the veranda.

The closet was opened and contained some clothes like a uniform of a school, sports clothes, casual and formal wear. I felt kinda disturbed they already had clothes for me.

She caught my look at the clothes and chuckled a bit.

"We got a bit over-excited and got you some clothes already but I now realize we went overboard and some of them are maybe a bit bigger on your slender frame. I'm sorry dear." She said sincerely. I nodded and kept looking around the room. Noting how my door had a lock I could use and how the windows could open.

She clapped her hands and said: "I'm going to prepare dinner now if you need me I will be downstairs. Take as long as you need, okay dear?" I nodded and she left closing the door behind her. When I heard her steps going down the stairs I quietly locked my room and put my bags on my bed.

I then began looking around closely for anything out of place. Some floorboards under my bed were loose so I opened them and put my bags in there after getting out most of my clothes and necessary stuff that didn't hold to much value. Except for my laptop and stuff like family pictures or necklaces. I put the clothes in the closet and then carefully put the boards back and sat on the bed.

I grabbed my stuff and put them in the drawer's lowest drawer. I kept my phone in hand and opened Instagram. My drawing I had posted wasn't there, hell my whole account didn't exist. Sure my drawings were stored on my phone but not posted. I made my account but this time just used my name Tony Sparrow and used a drawing as an account picture.

I then searched for Tony Stark's account and found it. I opened the message icon and my fingers hovered over the letters. I didn't know what to say. At all.

I exited it and just followed him. He wouldn't notice when he had over millions of followers anyway. I closed my phone and pocketed it lying down on my back and looking at the ceiling.

I just lay there motionless not making a sound. Staring at the ceiling. I heard voices downstairs but didn't pay any attention to it. I didn't care.

_I wanted to go home._

I felt tears getting into my eyes and my head feeling like cotton. I felt useless and like I betrayed my family by falling trough that portal even though it wasn't even my fault.

The room around me was so bare and clean. I hated it. I could never keep my room completely clean there was always something out of place. The walls were white and everything had color. I had trinkets and drawings everywhere and secret notes lying around. Stuffed animals and just random useless stuff I didn't need but still had. But no, I only had everything I took with me. Not my favorite stuffed animal, nor all my drawings, nor my useless stuff I wanted to have right now.

Time slowly went on without me and I just sat there. Not caring.

Till someone knocked on my door. My tears had long since dried but I still rubbed my eyes to make sure I didn't look like shit like I felt. I slowly got up and opened the door to be met with a teenager.

He looked like a typical jocky asshole, bright blonde hair and blue eyes. He was taller and looked around 17 to 18 years old. His 185~ cm was a big difference to my 160. He had a fake smile on his face like everyone else that didn't reach his eyes.

"Hello, I'm Nathan. I am your... adoptive brother. It's dinner time and mom said to call you down What a co come on." He jerked his head to the side in a clear gesture of 'get on with it'. I nodded and stepped out of the room closing the door behind me and went down the stairs. He followed closely behind. At the bottom of the stairs, I stepped to the side and looked at Nathan in a clear show of saying I didn't know where to go. He exhaled heavily through his nose and went through the left doors.

We entered a dining room. It was a cliche looking dining room. A wooden table with 4 seats. 2 on one side and 2 at the other. A gruff looking man was sitting at one side. He was wearing business clothes and smoking a cigarette while reading a newspaper.

What a _cliche_.

The table was set and Nathan sat down opposite the man and gestured towards the seat beside him. I sat down there and looked at the far wall ignoring everything and making myself seem as blank as possible.

The woman came in with a pot and set it on the table. She then carefully put the food on everyone's plate. Nathan gave her a quiet thank you and I just nodded not looking at her. Then she sat down and started to pray.

Now I am not saying that I don't respect that but oh my fucking god they were Christian. I am a fucking Athiest. I uncomfortably shifted but noted how the man didn't partake even though Nathan and his mother did.

When she was done they quietly started to eat not saying another word.

I looked at the plate. It was mashed potatoes, chicken wings and green peas. I quietly started to eat. Even though I was anything but hungry,

The only thing you could hear was the cluttering of silverware.

The man heavily exhaled which made Nathan who sat beside me tense up. I glance at him and saw him clutching his spoon and ready for anything.

This made me aware of the fragile silence was that of a broken home.

I kept eating paying no mind to the obvious attention asked from the man. I ignored it. Wich made him talk first.

"So son. What's your name?" He asked.

"I am not your son," I said. This made Nathan beside me tense up further and the room's temperature go down. I never understood the need for people to call boys son. They're not my father last I checked. And I checked.

"I asked what your name was. Son." He dragged the word son out on purpose. I was at my last bite and put down my spoon after finishing with chewing. Because my mother didn't raise me to be rude. Even if I am. That's a choice that I make when people are less than... Likable? I'm a teenager expect the rebellion people.

"And I said I wasn't your son, sir," I said finally looking up at the man with a blank expression. I noted how the woman had shrunk into herself and that Nathan still looked ready for a fight.

"And if you keep on calling me son than what's the use of asking my name, sir?" I tilted my head and blankly looked into his eyes. He looked mad at the fact I talked back. What a great fricking person. 10/10 really.

"Don't make me mad, son." He said glaring at me. Holy crap is this man deaf or something? Does he not care about social norms or politeness? What the hell?

I tilted my head and looked him dead in the eyes.

"My name, sir, is Tony Sparrow." I drawled out.

"So, you're Tony Lawson now." He said nodding to himself. I clenched my fists and glared. This dude really is getting on my nerves.

"Oh no sir it seems like we have a misunderstanding at our hands." I faked a polite smile and relaxed, making it seem like I was just innocent. Because I was. Totally am.

"I said. My name is Tony Sparrow. Not Lawson, or any other surname. Sparrow. Like my own family. Not yours." That should make it easy for him to understand, right? Because polite words make him think he can walk all over me and that's not going to happen.

He tensed, which made Nathan put his hands on the table. I kept the polite smile on my face. And then turned towards the woman. My bruises hurt.

"Thank you for the meal ma'am. It was delicious." I got up and grabbed my plate and utensils. I left the room and then went to the kitchen putting my dishes in the sink, and then went back upstairs. I went back into my room and locked the door again.

The house was silent. I felt drained.

I changed into my pajamas. Wich was a too big black shirt and sport shorts that reached my knees. I put off my necklace and laid down onto the bed. I turned towards to window, looking out at the silent street.

I laid there in a state of near-sleep but aware of every sound around me. I heard when the footsteps went up the stairs and one person went into the room across mine. The other 2 went into the bedroom across the hall.

I kept laying there tensed, till I heard every door close and the lights go out. I slowly relaxed and closed my eyes. Trying to sleep.

What a great new fucking family.

How long are we going to play?

* * *

My eyes snapped open for the 5th time in one day. The light blinded me and I shot up from the bed with a silent scream stuck in my throat. I looked around me, not recognizing where I was until my eyes fell on the closed door. Only then did the memories of the previous day return. I checked my phone and saw that it was 6 am. Noting how I only had 3 hours of sleep.

Not that I never woke up at that hour before, but what the fuck.

I heard someone call out: "Breakfast!" And realized I was going to go to fucking school today, wasn't I?

I got out of bed and slowly made my way out of my room. Walking into what I think was the bathroom. Which it was. After washing my face and noting how I didn't know which toothbrush was mine, I just rinsed my mouth. I tried to tame my hair but it didn't work, after cleaning my glasses I went back to my room.

I then went to the closet. I took out the uniform and put it on. It was a white blouse, a red sleeveless sweater, a black tie and a black jacket. The pants were the same color as the jacket but they were long. They even fucking included socks that were white.

There was a school bag already filled with books and a timetable with classes I had that day. I checked if it were the same books and then added my sketchbook into the bag. The bag was a simple black one which made me relieved.

I put my phone in my back and then went downstairs after locking my room behind me and putting the key into my bag. I then went downstairs to see that that there was another bag on the ground of the hallway. I put mine beside it and went into the kitchen to see that Nathan was also donned in the same uniform.

He was chewing his plate of eggs and bacon. I sat down beside him noting how he was far more relaxed now that the man of the house wasn't here. I only ate my eggs and didn't touch the bacon. Having had family friends and members who didn't eat it, made me not want to eat anything pig-related either. Also knowing what they eat. Which is everything from disgusting stuff to each other.

So yeah I didn't eat the bacon. Nathan was glancing at it so I just gave the bacon to him, which he gladly ate.

The woman came back into the room and looked happy to see me in full uniform having eaten.

"Ah, Tony how nice! I was almost afraid I had to go and wake you up. Glad to see you're also a morning person, unlike Nathan here. He won't ever really fully wake up before 11 am."

I was not a morning person but didn't comment on it. I just had bouts of insomnia or my body just wanted to fuck me over.

I nodded and then Nathan stood up.

"Come on we have to go the bus us coming soon." He said. I nodded and followed after him. We grabbed our bags and put on our shoes. I was still not certain about the whole thing since I was a new student too, so I didn't know how this was going to work, but I just followed the flow.

I followed him out the door and we went down the street to a bus stop, some other kids were standing around. There were some boys around Nathan's age he immediately started to chat with. There was another kid around my age curiously looking at me, but I just ignored everything. Because whoever thought I was a social butterfly, did not get the memo.

Till Nathan slapped me on the back and laughed.

"This dreamer here is Tony. He's my adopted brother." He kept his head on my back. A silent warning to me to not embarrass him in front of his friends. I put on a warm smile and turned to his friends. All of them had the same jocky look and attitude.

"Hello, I'm Tony. Nice to meet you." Nathan removed his arm. Deeming it satisfactory.

The other boys laughed.

"Well, it's nice to meet you. Guess we're going to see a lot of you from now on, huh? How old are you kid?" One of them asked.

I shifted knowing that I was on the short side but still smiled that fake smile.

"I'm 15, so I'm now in my sophomore year," I said.

One of them snorted. Another let out a laugh.

"N-No way! Really? Puberty _really_ hasn't crashed into you yet, did it?" another asked mirth dancing in his eyes. I just shrugged.

After they had their fun, they went back to talking amongst themselves.

My face went back to its blank state. The yellow bus finally came and we entered. Nathan _obviously_ didn't want to sit with me but didn't want it to look like it was an asshole move, so he sat me down with a kid around my age he knew from his team and then went to sit whit his friends.

The kid of my age looked like a fuckboy. Sorry pardon my french. He rose his brow at me and then proceeded to ignore me. He had a full 10 cms more than me. And he looked like he rather would just not care for a child.

I of course felt the same and ignored him too. Because two can play this game and I don't play to lose.

I just sat there ignoring everyone and looking ahead of me. Some kids were screaming around us, others were being a general pain in the ass. It was too early for this shit.

My body was 10 times heavier than it should be. But my expression was still in the same blankness that showed nothing.

"WAIT THAT SHORT STACK IS ACTUALLY NATHAN'S BROTHER?!" Someone screamed from behind me. I tensed feeling multiple eyes land on me looking me up and down. The kid beside me looked more interested now and was assessing me.

I kept ignoring it. Teenagers are terrifying.

"Yeah, no shit, didn't I tell you fuckface? "came another voice.

The kid beside me shifted and faced me.

"What's your name?" He asked.

I turned my head to him and blankly said: "Tony."

He looked at me, jerked his head towards the direction the shout came from and asked: "Is it true you're Lawson's brother?"

There was a glint in his eyes.

I smiled a perfectly fake smile and said:" Yes. I am adopted by his parents."

He cocked his head and made a show of looking me up and down. "Really? Why would his parents adopt a child..?" He asked.

I shrugged and said: "Well, this child is 15 years old."

He was grinning with his teeth. The glint in his eyes was looking sharper.

The kids around us were listening in. Obviously, going to spread rumors. I wanted to go home.

The bus finally stopped and kids started to get out. I followed, ignoring the kids that were around me assessing me.

Kids made their way into the building and there was a sharply dressed woman standing there. The moment she spotted me she made her way over.

"Tony Lawson?" She asked sounding clipped.

"It's Sparrow. Not Lawson." I said. She ignored it and turned back around indicating I had to follow. I did.

We took some turns and came at a standstill before a door that had a sign beside it with the 'principle's office'. She knocked and then entered and I followed.

There was a buff looking man, in a sharp suit, behind a big desk. A leather chair and all those cliche principle stuff on his desk.

I sat down before him, putting my bag on the ground beside me. He cleared his throat and the woman nodded and left.

We sat in silence. He was shuffling through some papers and me just sitting there staring at him.

He cleared his throat again and smiled.

"A pleasure to make your acquaintance, Tony Lawson. I would like to welcome you to Bhorheeve high school. I am the principal Mr. Bear." His smile looked sincere.

I blankly said:" It's Tony Sparrow. I never had my last name legally changed to Lawson, and I'm not planning to." He raised his eyebrow but nodded and wrote something down.

"Well that is weird your guardians indicated your last name was now Lawson... Nevermind that though. Did you receive your schedule? May I look at it?"He asked.

I nodded and gave it to him. He looked it over and after reading something his face looked pained till it smoothed out immediately after.

He cleared his throat and gave it back to me and also keys to a locker.

"It seems you have all the normal classes and even advanced ones. Everything seems to be in order. Those keys are of your locker and it is at the entrance number 1333."

He nodded and smiled again even though he looked tired. His grey eyes were twinkling with emotions.

"Now every student has a counselor. And since you are from a school where they don't have that, I want to say that you have scheduled meetings with him starting the next week or the week after that depending on when I can get a hold of him, on Tuesdays and Thursdays till the end of the month. After that you can just make appointments with them anytime you wish to have one."

I nodded in understanding.

"Now I will walk you to your first period that is about to start." He said getting up from his chair and walking to the door. I nodded, grabbed my bag and followed after him. He told me where the cafeteria was, how they give lunch from the school and that I could get signed up for after school programs. I nodded and then he stopped before a classroom and knocked on the door.

It went quiet behind the door and someone said: "Come in." And thus the principal opened the door.

We entered a full classroom of kids my age. Even fuckboy- I mean the kid from the bus was sitting there in the back with other kids.

The principal said something to the teacher who also, was smartly dressed and looked like he'd rather not see the principle's face. They talked and then nodded.

I was beckoned forward and the principle said: "This is Tony, he's going to be your new classmate for the year. Please treat him well, kids. Now, any questions for him?"

Several hands shot up. The principle picked out some kids.

A kid with glasses and a hoodie whose face and appearance screamed tired asked: "Are you from Europe?"

I nodded and said: "I'm originally from the Netherlands. I came to New York around the alien invasion." Multiple kids winced.

A girl who looked like a no bull shit person asked: "Why did you come to New York?"

My expression became perfectly blank and I curtly said: "Personal reasons."

She didn't seem satisfied but dropped it.

Another girl, one that looked like a typical popular girl that knows about every rumor asked:" Is it true you're Nathan Lawson's brother?"

I blandly answered:" His parents adopted me yes." My answer evaded the question and answered it at the same time.

The principle clapped his hands.

"Now, now, kids. That's enough, no need to overwhelm Tony here. Now you all go on with the lesson. Thank you for your time, Profesor Moran." He said and then fucking left me. Professor Moran looked at me with a go sit down look and I did. I sat by the window in the middle.

There was a geeky looking kid that was from the bus stop before me, the no-bullshit girl beside me and another boy behind me.

I didn't like it.

Mr. Moran went to the middle of the classroom and cleared his throat which made every kid snap to attention. I just dully looked at him.

"Now class before we got interrupted, I was going to explain more on the topic of modern-day ethics. Since this is a choice assignment and will only count with if you want it to, you don't have to exactly partake in this assignment and you can just make your homework for another class."

No one moved.

He nodded looking strangely smug,

"Now-

* * *

The bell went and everyone got up from their seat to go to their next class. I looked at my schedule and sighed knowing I was going to get lost searching for my physics class.

I looked up to see the boy from before me standing before me.

"I, um, just wondered if you wanted to go to physics together?" He asked nervously. His honey gold eyes darted everywhere and didn't stay at my face. I was aware of the eyes zeroed in on us, smiled and nodded at him.

The kid brightened up and fidgeted. I grabbed my bag and followed him. Professor was looking at me with a look of distaste and I wasn't going to touch that issue with a ten feet pole.

"So I my I am um... I'm Dean." The kids said stumbling over his words. He was fidgeting with a strand of his short straight brown blonde hair. Which looked presentable, unlike my curly mess of hair.

"I'm Tony. Thank you for offering to go to physics together." I said sincerely. Because unlike other people, I can be polite.

He looked happy with my thank you.

"S'no problem." He squeaked. Which okay.

I shook my head and said: "No seriously. I'm not eager to get to know our classmates. I really don't want to go through the stereotypical bullying phase of the new kid."

He looked at me like he was uncomfortable.

"Well, I uuh. Then I guess... You shouldn't really hang- uh hang out with me?" he asked.

"Oh, I don't mind bullies I can easily get them off your back dude. It's just, all the _effort_. Not that I'd rather be a bully, because that's a hard pass from me. They're a bother to deal with, but you're a nice guy. A pest problem isn't going to stop me to get to know you." I was serious and realized I was scowling so I wiped that out of my face. I then awkwardly cleared my throat and scratched my neck in embarrassment aware of the fact that my cheeks were burning.

"Sorry," I said.

Dean shook his head and arms. "It's no problem!" He said his voice went high.

He then went into a classroom and I followed suit.

* * *

I spent the rest of the periods hanging out with Dean who coincidently had the same classes as me. Even the advanced ones. He looked surprised I had them but I just smiled when he asked.

After we were done with the third period which was English we had lunch. I followed after Dean and we went to the cafeteria. It was packed but we still got our food. We went to a table with some other kids.

No bullshit girl was there, a kid with a naruto necklace, the kid with a hoodie over his uniform( is that allowed?) and who still looked like he was going to fall asleep any given moment and there was a kid who was taller than the others and all awkward limbs.

Dean sat down and I sat down beside him. On my other side was the kid with the Naruto necklace.

Wich made me grab my necklace and show it to him.

His eyes which looked pained before lighted up and he excitedly asked:" You watch one piece?" Ah, the language of anime dweebs. A familiar one.

I nodded smiling. And then said:" I also watch Naruto and some other animes. Saying that, awesome necklace dude. I'm Tony."

I held out my hand so he could shake it. He did. And introduced himself and the others. "I'm Jake, she's Alex, the boy in the hoodie is Kai and he's Adrian."

So no bullshit girl is Alex, hoodie kid is Kai and awkward boi is Adrian. Gotcha... I hope.

He didn't look as against me sitting there as before. I put my necklace back inside my shirt and then turned towards my food and started to eat it.

Before I could drink my chocolate milk (the interruptions is a great offense, I know) someone tapped me on my shoulder. I turned to see the arrogant boy from the bus standing there with some of his friends.

"Why are you sitting with those losers?" He asked. Immediately kids around us became silent. I felt the tension and the fact that my seatmates looked sad. Thinking I was going to go with the boy that just insulted them. Wow, I'm really great in their eyes, huh?

I smiled a polite smile and said: "Excuse you? What did you call them?"

He snorted thinking I was joking. Oh boy.

"Losers. What else? Come on, get up so you can sit at our table." He said crossing his arms.

My polite smile became strained and I calmly stood up. He looked like he won but I then said in the flattest voice I could muster:" No thank you."

He looked gobsmacked about the idea that someone could refuse him.

"You see, I don't really like you. I don't have a clue why you would like me to sit with you or why you think I would after you insult people I consider nice. I don't see the point of your whole charade. So go along now. I'm not interested." I said as dismissively as possible my grin getting an edge.

There was a deafening silence around us and then someone went.

"Buuuuurrnnnnnn."

The boy looked embarrassed and mad. I just cocked an eyebrow at him. He turned around and stormed away but not before shooting me a look that promised revenge.

I calmly sat back down and drank my chocolate milk. The kids sitting with me looked stunned and I just smiled happily.

"What...?" Asked Dean speechless.

I cocked my head at him.

"Why did you refuse?" Asked the girl. On that note, I need to memorize everyone's name or this is going to be awkward.

I finished my drink and put it down on my empty tray.

I shrugged and said: "Why not? They were douche-y."

"Why not? Well, maybe because of the fact that they will _make your life literal hell and you're Nathan's little brother!_ " She shot back.

My smile slipped and I looked with cold eyes at the wall.

"He's not my real brother," I said bitterly ruffling my hair. "And besides take my connection from him away, I'm just an average person. Hell, if no one knew I was his adopted brother, no one would be trying to get close to me at all. I don't care what those sheep think. I know bullies and I sure as hell never liked them. And join them? Hell no, I'd rather drown."

She looked stunned. So looked the other boys. The bell rang and we were off to our fourth period.

* * *

Math from Profesor Moran.

Why could you ever do this to me? One of my favorite classes from a man that despises me. Did I piss off some random deity? Whyyy?

While I was having a mild panic attack from the inside I looked at every part of the aloof façade I had. And in addition, I had multiple glares from the and his troops.

Which, come on?

Anyway. Professor Moran was glaring at me. Which, what even did I do to that guy?

I was debating jumping from the window(because school, teenagers and drama is a headache too many) when he irritatedly asked: "Mr. Lawson can I please get your attention?"

I wanted to say 'it's Sparrow' back but kept my mouth shut and curtly nodded, not looking at him but the board. Knowing it wouldn't give him another reason to irritate him.

He just glared at me and gave the class homework. Saying that we had to do some of the questions of the book now.

Everyone started and I sure as hell did it too. It was interesting to read everything in English instead of Dutch, but it didn't give that much of a challenge. I did everything I was supposed to do and rose my arm wanting to ask what else I could do.

"What is it, Mr. Lawson? Already trouble with my class? It hasn't even been 10 minutes. Don't tell me you can't even do basic math." He sounded like he loved the whole talking down on me.

"Or are you trying to purposely upset my classroom? Is that how your family likes to do things? Hindering everyone else's learning time because you wanted to be a clown. Well, Mr. Lawson? Don't tell me you've gone deaf too."

Something in me snapped. I calmly stood up. I grabbed my answer sheet and slammed it onto his desk. I smiled a perfectly plastic smile with fury in my eyes.

"Well sir, I was going to ask what we were supposed to do when we were done, but I guess I was magically supposed to know that right? Even though I never had mathematics from you before. And whatever your personal vendetta is against me, sir. Keep it out of the classroom. Now my name, sir."I dragged it out. Glaring at him.

"Is NOT Lawson. It's Tony Sparrow." With that, I turned back to my seat and sat down again. He looked shocked, mad, and a complex mix of other emotions. Till he cleared and screamed:" GET OUT!"

I nodded grabbed my stuff and left the classroom. Not knowing what I was supposed to do I just stood beside the door and waited. After a while, the principal walked past and saw me silently stewing before the classroom.

He stood before me and asked me confused:" Tony what are you doing here?" I just shrugged not really knowing the answer.

He looked into the classroom and then saw who taught. His face grew strained. He got in and asked Moran to get out for a second.

He of course got this mad expression seeing me standing beside the door looking at the opposite wall. The principal closed the classroom door and asked Moran what happened.

He of course exploded.

"Mr. Lawson disrespected me, disturbed the class and thought he could talk back to me! He behaved like a smartass like his elder brother!" He said mad.

The principle nodded than turned to me. I tensed warily watching him.

He saw my reaction and smiled an easy-going smile. "Want to tell me what happened from your point of view, Tony?"

I nodded and looked back to the wall.

"I finished the assigned homework and wanted to ask what I was supposed to do now. Normally at math we get a planer with all the questions we had to finish that period, but they don't have that here so I didn't really know what to do. So I raised my arm and was going to ask Profesor Moran but he..." I furrowed my brows.

"He asked if I was already having trouble with the questions, or if I was purposely trying to upset the classroom. He insinuating something about the Lawson's and um yeah I uh." I didn't want to tell it but also fucking guy just snapped without reason. I started to fidget and look everywhere else.

"Tony?" Came the principle's voice.

"Okey. He said and I quote:

_"What is it, Mr. Lawson? Already trouble with my class? It hasn't even been 10 minutes. Don't tell me you can't even do basic math. Or are you trying to purposely upset my classroom? Is that how your family likes to do things? Hindering everyone else's learning time because you wanted to be a clown. Well, Mr. Lawson? Don't tell my you've gone deaf too"_

And yeah I snapped and said:

_"Well sir, I was going to ask what we were supposed to do when we were done, but I guess I was magically supposed to know that right? Even though I never had mathematics from you before. And whatever your personal vendetta is against me, sir. Keep it out of the classroom. Now my name, sir. Is NOT Lawson. It's Tony Sparrow."_

Then Profesor Moran sent me out of the classroom but since I never have been sent out of the classroom before I didn't know what to do and since this is literally my first day here I don't have a clue where everything is so I just stood beside the door because if I went back to ask he would have gotten mad again.

And maybe I shouldn't have snapped but I just got frustrated because he kept calling me Lawson and treating me like I personally wronged him and I'm sorry. That wasn't a rational thing to do. I shouldn't have snapped."

I said fidgeting with my sleeves and still not looking at the 2 adults. There rang a silence.

The principle turned towards Profesor Moran and cocked his head.

"Is this true Mr. Moran? If I go ask the kids in the class they would agree with what Mr. Sparrow said?" He asked crossing his arms.

There was silence. Then he stiffly nodded.

"Than can I expect you to not let this happen again, Mr. Moran and Mr. Sparrow?" I nodded looking in his eyes. Mr. Moran did too.

"All right. Since Tony already finished I'm going to have to get him back to the principal office for some other reasons. Is that all right with you Mr. Moran?" He asked. Mr. Moran nodded and went back into the classroom.

I followed the principle to his office.

I sat down in his chair and I sat down opposite him again. He sighed and rubbed his temples.

"I am so sorry Tony, Mr. Moran had some problems with Nathan. I am sorry I didn't realize he could focus that on you. It won't happen again." I nodded awkwardly.

"It wasn't that much of a deal sir. I shouldn't have antagonized him. It was partly my fault. I shouldn't have raised my arm knowing he didn't like me." I said guiltily.

"No. That would make the issue worse. It would have gone on for a longer period and you would suffer from the emotional backlash and then your grads would slip and it would cause more stress. I am glad we caught this before it could leave a bigger mark." He said strongly.

"Now Tony. I have some questions for you." He said seriously looking me in the eyes.

I nodded.

"Look, your file was a bit of a rollercoaster and all. But from what I gathered you were in New York while the invasion happened. Now I know that must have been terrifying. And on top of that, you recently lost your parents. I can't imagine the pain you must be going through. Getting adopted wasn't really what you wanted, did you?" He asked somberly.

I shook my head numbly and said: "I just want to go home."

"That's understandable Tony, so is getting upset over your surname. I am sure it's now one of the only things you have left reminding you of your parents right?"

I nodded:" It's just. I hate this. All of this. I never like taking pictures and stuff. So I don't have them. I never wanted them to be gone. I want them back, I want my old life back." I said hoarsely.

He nodded in understanding.

"And it's alright to feel that way young man but, you can't keep bottling it up. Understood?" He asked.

I nodded feeling emotionally drained.

"Now of to your fifth period you go." He said. Making go gestures with his hands. I nodded and left with my bag, and since I had some time before the bell rang I could find my class easily.

I had art.

Which heck yeah!

So when the bell rang the students pilled into to hallways to their class and I entered the rapidly emptying room. The teacher sat on a chair laid back looking at his computer screen.

Dean came in and dragged me to the furthest corner where only the girl came and joined us. I sat down in the middle of them. More like they sat around me and were glaring at the kids around us.

I cocked my head in question but Dean just shook his head.

"Now class! I see we have a new face in our mids. Can you introduce yourself please?" The teacher asked. No one really looked excited about this class and there was a heavy atmosphere.

I nodded and just said: "Tony Sparrow."

He smiled. "Not much of a talker huh?" I just stared.

He went on and said we were going to make a self-portrait that had our face but also our feelings in it. He didn't care how we did it but just that we finished it before the end of the semester.

There was a heavy silence in the room while everyone was just doing as they were told. I grabbed my sketchbook and started to sketch some ideas into it. Dean and the girl focused on their task.

I felt confused but just went on with the task.

Till someone leaned over my shoulder which startled me and made me drop my pencil.

"Ah! Sorry there! I was just curious about what you were drawing!" The teacher said laughing. I tensed and looked him in the eyes and just knew.

This wasn't going to be a fun semester.

I carefully slid my sketchbook to him so he didn't have to be so close and watched him look over the designs and ideas I drew.

He nodded and gave them back still smiling and then went away.

I looked at Dean and asked the silent question.

Dean had a somber look and nodded.

I cursed my luck and went back to sketching new ideas.

The teacher didn't get close after that. Because I kept a wary eye out and always inched away or just made it easy to look at the drawing without him having to fucking tower over me.

That's how our period went. Tense and uncomfortable. When the bell rang I saw people deflating in relief and Dean immediately grabbed my arm and dragged me out of the classroom.

It was lunch so we were allowed to get some food again.

I was silent until we sat down with our group.

"We had 2 art teachers right?" I asked them.

Dean nodded expression tense.

"Is the other also like him?" I asked warily.

Dean shook his head which made me relax.

We ate and chatted for a bit not talking about it.

There are some things we never talk about. Some things we keep silent about. Like a teacher that makes you feel like you're walking on a land filled with mines and any wrong move will make the beast appear. A paper thing facade made to fool others but we've played long enough to know. A sociopath that pretends that they're normal. If you don't want to fail your classes then be warned, the beast is looking for prey. So make sure to not get caught in its webs.

The bell rang and my last class of the day began.

It was biology by an Orochimaru 2.0. Enough said. If Mr. Hollows had yellow eyes and was paler than he was he definitely would be Orochimaru. I hope he's not half snake. I _really_ hope he's not half-snake or I will kill someone. The scary thing is that its possible in a world where a teenage boy gets superpowers by being bitten by a radioactive spider. Damn it.

Even his last name gives the creepy vibe!

While we were filling into the classroom we walked to a table in the back. More like Dean dragged me there. For some reason, he likes dragging me everywhere. I think it's because he's like a 1 cm taller than me. Probably makes him think that I should be dragged around like that. I am not that small Dean please stop dragging me around like I'm going to get eaten if I get lost-

We sat down and grabbed our bags. The whole class was silent you could hear a pin drop. Some kids were nervously eyeing the professor. Which come on, he didn't dissect anyone, did he?

I hope not. I really really hope not. Curse my excessive knowledge about horror movies, anime, and books. They're not that appreciated _now_.

He cleared his throat. Clad in a black formal suit he looked sharp. His black hair wich was just touching his shoulders was in a ponytail. His startling grey eyes were looking at the paper he held before him.

"Now class, I am aware that there is a new student here and since my rules are often forgotten by a select view" He was glaring here at specific students who ducked away from his gaze. "I will rehearse them now so that the new student will be familiar with them."

Dean glanced at me and then back at Mr. Hollows. Yes, Dean, he means me. Which makes you at risk of being held under scrutiny by the Orochimaru 2.0. You should probably run. Like now.

"Rule number 1. In case we are doing a dissection or anything that could be remotely used to cause anyone harm, obey every safety regulation. I assume you know these because you have been taught them since the first year." Holy crap the amount of sass- I aspire to become this level of no shits given.

"Rule number 2. When I ask you to do something. You do it. Be it homework, an errand or anything else that has to do with school or my classroom. You will listen to what I say." Yessir.

"Rule number 3. Don't talk when I am talking, don't talk when I give you an assignment. Preferably don't talk at all except if you have a question and if you for some reason have a question that has to do with my class raise your arm. No screaming in this class we aren't animals." I have this strange feeling of deja vu. Wait- Is this a Snape 2.0? What the frick? First snake men rip off now we moved onto bat? Oh god, we're all going to _die_.

"That brings me to the last rule." He slapped his paper onto his table which made the students flinch. All of them. Damn this man knows how to command a room.

"You. Will. Respect me. And all the other students. Bullies are not tolerated. Understood?" His eyes flickered my way and then back. My face was expressionless. Dang it.

Every clue made me sick to my stomach. I don't want to die yet because Nathan was an idiot. Or his father. Oh no- Do I have an automatic -10 in relationships with everyone? Instant dislike?

All the kids nodded me included. Because I do not want to die. Preferably not any time soon. Especially not by a man that reminds me of an almost immortal scientist snake man and a spiteful super spy.

Dean looked terrified. Wich maybe is the reason why we are sitting in the fucking back. My new friend really knows his who to not fuck with list. We will probably make it to our 20's because of him.

"Now that I have reminded everyone of the rules I expect you all to follow them. Now books open to page 112 and read paragraphs 4 to 13. Then make exercise 34 to 45 on page 76 of your workbook. I expect you have all finished this next lesson." He gracefully sat down and went to work on the thing he had on his desk. Everyone immediately did as told. Self-preparation instincts on full drive.

We worked in silence for a while. Till someone decided to be funny and threw a fucking paper ball at mister Hollows. Some of the annoying boy's friends were grinning but quickly schooled their expression to normal. Oh god they really wanted to die, did they? Why are they poking a sleeping dragon? Do they not know that this man can tear us apart with just his words?

He looked up and looked menacing. He scanned everyone's scared face and stopped at my expressionless one. Oh no.

He stalked forward to our table. Dean looked like he was going to be sick so I bumped my leg to his but didn't look at him. Show weakness and you die. I am _not_ going to die.

"What is the meaning of this Mr. Lawson?" He asked sounding irritated. I hated that he said the wrong last name but didn't bother to correct it not wanting to start a conflict. Because first of all this man is mildly(I'm lying he's really) terrifying. And second of all. I don't want to fight with another teacher. Again. Why is my first day full of this kind of shit again?

I cocked my head at him silently asking him to elaborate. Because the assumption that he wants to blame me is absurd, right?

This for some reason made him madder and I saw the culprits grinning at each other out of the corner of my eyes. Oh, they wanted me to die. I don't know if I should applaud their guts or shake my head at their stupidity.

I looked back up at him and he looked at me with a promise of harm in his eyes if I didn't start talking soon. No thank you sir if you are looking for a target I'd have to point you to the nearest, not me person that I don't like. Which is the group of teenage boys behind you that got me into this mess.

I cleared my throat and carefully thought about what to say.

"I didn't do anything but what I was supposed to do, sir," I said keeping my answer and expression neutral.

He thought I was lying and started to glare at me. Oh, come on. The glare made Dean let out a wheeze for some reason. This if course caused Mr. Hollow's eyes to flicker to _him_. Poor Dean. He hasn't beat up an alien yet, how would he ever look Mr. Hollows in the eyes without the immediate feeling of death?

"Do you have anything to add Mr. Grey?" He asked crossing arm which made him look like he was looming over us. Which made Dean shrink. And look like he was on the verge of a panic attack. Not cool snake-bat-man. Now I have to calm down my friend from a panic attack.

I put my hand over his shoulder not touching him and quietly said so that the other kids didn't hear: "Easy breathes Dean. Easy breathes. In and out. 4 in, 7 hold and 8 out. come on, can you do that? Yeah, there you go. There you go." He started to breathe again which made him considerably calmer. His color came back but he had a worryingly short of breath.

"Do you have an inhaler or something you can use now Dean?"I asked him. He nodded and pointed to his bag which made me open the front pocket and grab a similar but different inhaler and put it before him. He inhaled and exhaled before using it.

He was starting to calm down. Which was great. I didn't want to be the reason for my first friend my age in this dimension died. Because that would suck. A lot.

"Mr. Hollows asked you something Dean, could you please answer him? If you don't want to talk you could write it down. Is that okay?" I asked him. He shuddered but nodded. Grabbing a pen he wrote something down which I didn't see and gave it to Mr. Hollows who looked calmer than before.

I glared at the man because he made my first friend from here have a near panic attack. He read over it nodded and silently turned to the silently giggling bullies.

They paled the moment he walked their way. I dismissed it and leaned to Dean. "You okay?" I silently asked him. Dean nodded and gave a strained smile not really looking me in the eyes.

I cocked my head and asked him: "What's wrong?"

He avoided my eyes.

"You um... Don't think it's weird I... I uh I almost had a panic attack and needed an. I needed my inhaler?" He asked looking small. Which was absurd. Who would think that?

I turned to my bag and grabbed my own inhaler and showed him it smiling.

"Well, you can't be weirder than I can you? I have light asthma and have had my own fair share of panic attacks. Nothing wrong with it." I said with a no-nonsense tone. He looked relieved seeing my inhaler and what I said. I silently put it back in my bag while he did the same.

He looked at the kids who were being scolded and then said: "I had a lung infection when I was a toddler, I almost died because of it. It left me with a bad immune system and a ruined pair of longs. So I get shortness of breath and attacks and am often sick. Not a lot of kids like me because of it. They think I'm a freak because of my medicine and the fact I can't play any sport. The fact that I am often sick doesn't help my case either..."

I watched him and then nodded. Tony do not show how much you want to fight every kid that scorn your friend because he has medical problems. Do NOT DO IT TONY-

"Well be prepared to be bugged by a weirdo like me. Now that we're friends I'm not letting you escape me. I will mother hen you just so you know because being sick sucks and that decreases our time to hang out." I said crossing my arms. It made him laugh silently and I smirked. There are some things we never talk about. Some things we keep silent about. Like a teacher that makes you feel like you're walking on a land filled with mines and any wrong move will make the beast appear. A paper thing facade made to fool others but we've played long enough to know. Victory.

Mr. Hollow sent the idiots to the principle so they can explain themselves and then resumed the class. We all went back to our work and the silenced went on.

I finished my work 5 minutes before the bell would ring so I went over some of the pages of my book looking at what I had missed. The book wasn't that much different than my old ones. Only they were English. So I hadn't missed a lot and just had to be sure I didn't use dutch on anything.

The bell was going to ring any second now so people were already cleaning up. Me included. Because I do not want to die for being a slow cleaner also I don't want to be any longer in this classroom than needed to be. This man is scary.

"Mr. Lawson and Mr. Grey please stay behind."Rang Hollow's voice. I slumped and went on with packing but slower knowing we had to stay.

I didn't even do anything wrong this time!

Okay, maybe I set him off by cocking my head? Maybe I said something in a bad tone? What did I doooooo?

I don't want to die young.

Going by Dean's expression he felt the same.

The bell rang and everyone but us left. We made our way to Mr. Hollow's desk where he sat. He looked up from his papers and just stared at us. The sound of kids running to their freedom slowly decreased till there fell a suffocating silence.

He suddenly deeply exhaled and stood up.

"I am sorry I wrongfully accused you, Mr. Lawson." He said.

I flinched at the Lawson part and from the surprise, I lost the tenseness I felt and my expression became relaxed. Dean looked like he was just told he wasn't going to be executed.

I glanced at Dean and back to him and said: "Could you please refrain from scaring Dean sir? He can't take the intimidating factor like the other students." His expression held a glint of guilt and he nodded.

"I apologize for setting you off Mr. Grey. I shall not do it again. After all, you are one of my best students, it wouldn't do to scare you into the hospital." He said. Dean looked relieved and bumped my shoulder in thanks.

I cleared my throat and then anxiously glanced away.

"Could... Um, Could you please refrain from calling me Lawson sir? My last name is Sparrow, not Lawson. I only got adopted yesterday and never had my name changed." I said not looking at him but at my shoes. I shifted from one foot to the other when I was met with silence.

Of course, why would anyone want to listen to my request? it's silly, I'm living with them why don't I already accept the fact that I will never go back home? What an idiot am I. So eager for recognition and a sense of identity. Why bother others with it it's not worth it anyway-

I panicked and bitterly said: "Or you don't have to it's silly it's just my last name anyway I'm sorry to bother you-"

"Calm down Mr. Sparrow." He said curtly cutting me off.

My eyes snapped to his at the use of my _own_ last name and I smiled in relief. Relieved that he used _my_ name not someone else's. I exist and it's not a rebellion only understood in the minds of other teenagers.

"Thank you, sir," I said inclining my head. Two words with a thousand different others hidden in them.

"Now scatter you two, the busses are leaving." He said trying to sound harsh but failing. We nodded and scattered. Dean looked relieved and happy as we walked outside to the bus. Probably because we didn't die and he won't die any time in the future since he was one of the best students.

We entered our bus and sat down in the middle where Dean then animatingly talked about some cool comics he saw and read.

I listened to him even when we got off the bus and we made it down our street. Till he had to go right to go home. He gave me his number in exchange for mine and then left. Waving happily and walked away.

I looked before me and walked on to the new house I stayed at feeling exhausted. I knocked on the door and Ms. Ann happily welcomed me in. I just nodded at her and went into my room opening it and locking it behind me. I didn't have homework just changed the books to fit for tomorrow and also put my gym clothes in there.

Then flopped onto my bed feeling tired as hell.

Pretend and play the game till it's over. Till it's not needed. We're a happy family, _a happy family_ and we keep being a happy fucking family. Normal as always and no need to be noticed.

I wanted to doze off but had to change clothes first. I put on a simple black hoodie and shorts and then lay down to doze off.

* * *

I woke in a startle shooting upright and trying to breathe. The flashes of my nightmare ebbing away and not even remembering what it was about but still feeling the remains of the terror I felt.

I carefully breathed in and kept still looking up at my ceiling and trying to get my mind back normal from the chaos it was in. After a while of panting and laying carefully still, I finally calmed down enough to get out of my bed and grab another set of clothes.

I unlocked my door and made it down the hall to the bathroom. I was still shaking but kept my face carefully blank. Before I reached the door of the bathroom I was met with the startled expression of Nathan.

He looked me over and noted my appearance. I did the same. He was wearing football clothes and was dirty and sweaty. One of his hands rested on the doorknob of the bathroom.

We looked at each other for a while until I turned back around and went back into my room. I closed my door and locked it again and just grabbed my phone to see if I had anything to do.

I went to Instagram and posted some of my drawings that were on my phone. I looked at Tony's account and that he hadn't posted in a while. I tapped 'message' and let my fingers hover over the keyboard.

I looked at it and then very carefully typed in "Hey Tony! It's me, Tony the resident spitfire. I'm not sure you're going to get this or if you will even notice this but, I just wanted to say"

I stared at what I had and then deleted it closing my phone and putting it away from me.

I scratched my neck and looked out the window noting how it wasn't dark yet.

Someone knocked at my door startling me. I got up and opened it seeing Nathan awkwardly standing there. His hair was dripping and he was wearing fresh clothes.

"The bathroom is free now." He said. He immediately turned to his room and locked it behind him. I grabbed my clothes and after locking the door behind me went to the bathroom uninterrupted.

I quickly showered and got dressed again after dying myself. I looked in the mirror noting how shitty I looked. I had dark circles under my eyes, bloodshot eyes and I looked paler than I was. My eyes were half-lidded and unfocused. My head filled with cotton.

And I remembered that this wasn't the first time I looked like this. I remember the heavy fist on my head, the crying and the hating. I remembered the wishing to be gone from there.

And remembering that filled me with dread. A realization.

It was my fault I was here, wasn't I?

All that wishing to be gone and away from there, brought me here didn't it?

All those pain-filled though of anguish and hate and just that tunnel vision of emotions. I had that one thought. Just that one thought every other kid had.

_"I wish I was gone here, I hate it here, take me away from here, or I'll go myself."_

And that hollow declaration was always in a broken home within the walls of an empty room.

It had always felt hollow to my own ears.

With no witnesses in the room where those words were spoken. I wonder if it was because I couldn't see or hear the proof that there was anyone if it really meant that there were no witnesses.

But now that I am gone from there I just landed in another broken home. And I don't know if I can take it this time. My head sometimes still aches. I was scared and terrified of the same thing.

I hated that it was the same but with people that were strangers to me. I just wanted to be happy but that wasn't going to happen any time soon.

I looked at my dull dull eyes and tried to put back a spark in them.

To liven up. I was living in the marvel universe!

But...

_"You Sparrow are only going to be a liability."_

I shook my head and went out of the bathroom. I went back into my room locking the door again.

I crawled into my bed and just stared at the ceiling. Drifting.

After a while, off just laying there I heard the woman call out: "Dinner!" Again.

I didn't budge even when Nathan knocked and said: "It's dinner time. Come eat."

I didn't move and just lay there. I didn't feel hungry anyway. Just tired.

I was on the line of sleeping and being awake. The Lawson's didn't bother checking in with me again and after a while went to bed.

I looked at my window noting the fact it was dark out now. I stared at the stars and wondered how Loki was holding up now. I hoped he wasn't in his prison again rotting away like last time.

I closed my eyes and went to sleep knowing I was going to encounter nightmares again.

* * *

I startled awake again breathing heavily. My room wich should be dark was light. I was sweating and borderline panicking with the unfamiliar place around me. I shot up from my place and wildly looked around me.

I stumbled and smashed against a table wich let me fall down again.

My too-big t-shirt was drenched in sweat and my shorts were folded and creased. My hair was clinging to my forehead.

I wasn't wearing my glasses which made everything blurry and I was hyperventilating again.

Someone touched my shoulder which made me startle and let out a cut of scream. I backed away still on the floor looking around me and being met with a green-like figure that was much blurrier than it should be because of my tears.

"What are you doing here child?" Asked a distinctively familiar voice.

I straightened and hastily wiped away my tears squinting to see better. After a pregnant pause, my voice hoarsely rang out.

"Loki?"

I heard the rustling of clothes and the pale face with green eyes came closer making me able to see it. He held my glasses in his hands.

"Yes." He said confirming my question.

I owlishly blinked at him trying to process this. I relaxed my muscles taking me glasses and putting them on and then said: "What."

His smile became less strained as he let out an airy chuckle.

"It seems you came in quite the predicament again Tony." He said eyes dancing with mirth.

I squinted at him and then at the white place around us memories shooting up in me. I looked at his disheveled appearance and clenched my hands. I carefully got up and looked at the gaping open wall looking into the cell. I took a couple of steps forward glaring at it with a hate-filled gaze.

I opened my mouth and screamed the words in my mind.

"THOR YOU LYING FUCKING BASTARD GET YOUR ARSE OVER HERE SO I CAN SHOVE MY FOOT UP YOUR ASS! YOU PROMISED ME IT AND IF YOU DON'T GET THE ONE WHO DECIDED THIS HERE RIGHT THE FUCK NOW I WILL GET A KNIFE AND GOUGE YOUR EYES OUT YOU HEAR ME YOU IDIOT!?"

I was heaving trying to get my breath back and still glaring at the empty hallway. I turned back to Loki and took steps forward my glare ebbing away.

I looked him over again and then asked him: "Are you okay?"

He was looking at me with unreadable eyes and mouthing some words.

I heard footsteps from the hallway and turned towards it actually seeing Thor coming closer.

His eyes widened when seeing me in my pajamas glaring at him next to Loki.

"What is the meaning of this?" He asked, eyes flickering to Loki. He was probably thinking it was a trick.

Loki beside me had an equal lost expression and shrugged.

I crossed my arms and glared at him taking steps closer again.

"Thor, didn't I specifically ask you something before you fuking left? Or are my memories abandoning me?"

Realizing that I was really me he gulped and awkwardly shuffled.

I inhaled and exhaled.

"Thor answer me right now I am not patient enough for this bullshit." I flatly said tiredly massaging my temples.

He seriously looked me over and said:" The Allfather called judgment that Loki will serve for his previous... Crimes." He said hesitating, wincing with the crimes part.

I cocked my head and asked him:" And did you do what I specifically asked you to do? Did you object and tell them the truth?"

He winced and said:" They dismissed your claims as so-called a child's rambles... I am sorry son of Sparrow." He looked at his feet in honest regret.

I clenched my hands and glared at the space over his head. I tried to calm myself and restrain myself from shaking. I wanted to curse the idiots out but tried to think rationally.

"So they decided just because I said it, **it wasn't true?** " I asked voice devoid of any sort of emotion.

Thor nodded.

"And so they falsely accused Loki **because they didn't think the words of a child held any merit? They decided that because of my age only my words didn't matter even though I was right?** " I was shaking in rage feeling the ugly burning in my chest churning. The lights flickered overhead and shadows were dancing in the corners of the room.

" **THEY DARE JUSTIFY THEIR ACTIONS BECAUSE THE WORD OF A CHILD CONTRIDICTED THEM?! THEY THINK THAT IS RIGHT!? THAT THEY AREN'T WRONG JUST BECAUSE I HAD PROVE DECLARING THE OPPOSITE!?** _ **They played with someone's life because they can't fathom that a child could be right?**_ **"**

The flickering of the lights worsened the shadows reaching to me I jumped and calmed down immediately seeing the shadows reaching to me. I watched with wide eyes as they went back to the corners and the lights shone brightly again.

"Wh-what..?" I bewilderedly asked staring at the corners of the room and back down to my own shadow.

I looked up and saw Thor looking with horror and fascination. I took a step back and looked back at my own hands in dawning horror.

"What did I? How? What?" I asked my questions filling the silent room.

Loki reached to me and I flinched away scrambling away not wanting to accidentally hurt anyone. He looked hurt but kept trying to reach me.

"No no don't touch me _what if I hurt you?!_ " I asked the man still scrambling away. He persistently followed me till his hand finally settled on my shoulder he seriously looked me in the eyes and said:" You wouldn't hurt me."

He sounded so sure saying that that it rendered it my speechless.

I just watched him with wide eyes. He pointedly looked at his hand on my shoulder and then our shadows. Nothing happened.

"I- What just happened?" I asked still not understanding.

He looked smug and said:" It seems those portals changed your body in some magical way."

I was stumped looking down at my shadow and back in the green eyes of Loki. He raised an eyebrow in question. Demanding I explain this to him.

"I got powers?" I asked hushed disbelieving.

"It seems so." He said nodding.

He carefully extracted his arm and backed away from me again straightening his clothes.

I took a step forward again and looked at the stumped Thor and back to Loki. I felt a sharp tugging sensation at my chest making me furrow my eyebrows and rub at my chest with my hand.

I felt it again but harder and felt myself getting drained. "Wha-" I stumbled feeling lightheaded and immediately straightened again not wanting to fall down again.

There was another tug at my chest making me hiss because it was starting to hurt. It felt like the walls were closing in on me which made my panicky claw at my chest in fear. The air was knocked out of my lungs and I was left gasping for air when everything twisted around me and I stumbled onto a bed.

I was able to breathe again which made me shoot up seeing a familiar bedroom. I was back? My thoughts were swirling about the encounter with the 2 Asgardians and thinking maybe it was a dream but dismissing that again thinking back at the vivid sensations I experienced in it.

My thoughts didn't make any sense and my body felt to tired to do anything anymore so I just lay back down and went to sleep too tired for this shit.

* * *

I heard pounding on my shirt and crying from the other side. I shot up and grabbed my bat. I watched as the door shook under the abuse it was going under.

"Dad stop! He's just a kid leave him alone!" Came Nathan's voice from the other side.

There was a crash and someone yelped.

"Don't tell me what to do child. Just because you're getting older doesn't mean you can disobey me! This one has to learn the message the hard way, it just seems." Came a slurred voice from just behind my door.

I watched with wide eyes as the pounding on my door went on and on.

"Dear please stop. What if the neighbors call the cops on you?" Came the mother's voice.

"I don't care. GET OUT OF THE ROOM YOU UNGRATEFUL CHILD!" His voice boomed even though it was behind my door. I was shaking scared of opening the door but knowing it would only get worse.

I put all my important stuff away from view. I put away my bat and made sure I wasn't looking to disrayed.

I walked to the door that was shaking and with the flick of my wrist, it unlocked. It immediately banged open. I was met with the enraged expression of the father. He grabbed me by my collar and dragged me out of the room, down the stairs.

He pushed me on the floor in the living room. I was hit with the reeking smell of alcohol. Noting the discarded bottles I only could assume the man before me was wasted.

I looked up as he advanced looking like he was going to kill me. I caught Nathan's eyes over the man's shoulder, he looked terrified. So I smiled at him.

This was not something the man before me liked.

"Get up you filthy bastard and face me like a man!" Came his mad voice.

His eyes were dazed and his skin sweaty.

I calmly stood up with a demeanor of indifference.

He retreated his arm and swung at me. I saw the blow coming and dodged out of the way.

This made him all the angrier and he swung again trying to hit me. I just dodged. His fist was slow enough to see and dodge. It seemed child play even.

"Stay still you spoiled brat! I said to face me like a man!" He basically hollered.

I dodged his next fist and took a step out of his reach looking him in the eyes.

"Then maybe you should man up and start behaving like a man. Who the fuck attacks a fucking child? What are you? A beast?" I shot back cocking my head keeping my body relaxed.

This did not calm him, it in fact made him only more hotheaded. He shot forward and grabbed me. I was to slow to get out of the way and landed down under him.

His hands were on my collar and he hoisted me to his face. It looked like his veins were twitching from up close his frown making him look all the more ugly.

"You listen here you dipshit. You live in my house under my roof and I do not tolerate this sort of behavior. If you don't start correcting yourself right now I will make sure you won't be able to walk for the next weeks." His breath stunk of it. I scrunched my face in disgust.

"I won't listen to anyone who doesn't deserve my respect. And you sir did nothing to earn it. You want to beat me? Go on then, it will only make you less of a man in my eyes. Scumbag." I spat at him.

His face twitched and he came closer to me.

"Watch your tone boy. Or you'll regret it." He said.

I glared at him and bared my teeth. "I don't regret anything I do sir. I only regret not smashing your face in with a bottle of the beverage you drank. Drunkard." I said smiling sweetly at him.

His arm soared at me and since I couldn't dodge from under him it hit me square in the face. My eyes immediately teared up but I did not let a sound escape me. He was in a moment of clarity because he didn't punch me in the face again, no. He punched me everywhere no one would see. At one point thought the hazy cloud of pain he was even kicking me.

After a while, he did get bored and the mother finally came to my rescue. She bandaged me up in silence, crying while doing it. I just watched her silently not even hissing in pain. My eyes flickered to Nathan's mad expression. I went to bed after that.

I ignored the pain. It wasn't my first beating I have had.

It wouldn't be the last.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N:
> 
> So uhhhh. Triggering chapter? I warned you. I definitely did. So uh sorry about that?
> 
> Now I know this is a self-insert but the mentioned abuse is not real. At least to me. I'm just making my SI-OC more of an OC.
> 
> If you do have trouble with abuse, bullying or any of the triggering things talked about in this chapter, please get help from the proper places. I'm not a licensed mental health doctor, and thus can't really offer help in that regard. There are proper websites all over the internet though that would love to help you or anyone that you know.
> 
> I hope I didn't trigger anyone or make them upset by this chapter. That really wasn't my intention. If I did do that then I sincerely apologize.
> 
> What else? Uh yeah, the next chapters will mention heavy themes and stuff but I won't go into detail since that's just way too much especially since this is online and some people don't acknowledge warnings. I have no intention of making people feel sick by writing. That's just mean.
> 
> I hope at least some people enjoyed this chapter and I didn't mess it all up.
> 
> The fact that the editing and proofreading take over half a day because of the sheer amount of words in a chapter is taxing, but I like long chapters so. Haha. Still. Hope you gals, pals and others liked this.
> 
> Sincerely,
> 
> Def


	3. You can make music out of pain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony gets into a fight. Tony contemplates how people work. Tony worries. Tony gets into more fights. Tony gets possessed by angry god-like beings. Tony gets a new home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Normally I have art above my Wattpad stories, at this chapter you have a drawing of the gang. (Tony and friends) So if you are curious then check that out I guess?(You can also look at Deviantart, same username.)
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING: MENTIONS OF RAPE(THIS DOESN'T HAPPEN BUT STILL). ABUSE, SWEARING, AND FIGHT'S. Again I'd rather you didn't read this if it triggers you since reading is supposed to be fun, not triggering.

My days passed going to school, hanging out with Dean and his friends, and ignoring the group trying to enact revenge on me. Honestly, hurtful words were nothing. Okay it was getting annoying cleaning my locker from the local graffiti on it and yeah the sticky notes on my back were a waste of paper, sometimes getting drenched in water by an accidental water bottle flying my way or soccer balls to the face wasn't that bad.

The isolation from them was a boon though the rumors about me were just getting weird. Just because I was respectful to girls and treated them like equals I was considered weird. Definitely when I gave my occasional chocolate bar to girls who had their period.

What I experienced their pain so I sure as hell am going to treat them with respect. The girls mostly were glad I wasn't some horny bastard and only trying to be polite. Which, okay, made the guys weirded out by me that I wasn't that big about the body of a girl. Most of the boys who wanted the attention of a girl where I just was polite and did it out of respect and understanding. Though not all boys of course. Some of them couldn't care any less.

Wich someone turned into an outrages rumor I was gay. Which I am not. It's clear I'm asexual and aromantic which must confuse their brains.

But honestly, when someone hated their female body and was kinda getting used to their male body it just weirds everything out. Not that I hated this body. I was a trans male so this body was a gift but still, it is weird not having those fits of body dysphoria. How does someone miss the self-hate? I don't know but I guess it happens? Next thing you know I'm suddenly a functioning member of society. Imagine that.

Also, considering the body hate I first had was almost gone now I felt lighter but still.

Anyway, the bullying didn't matter to me. The rumors could get funny anyway and I was an introvert at heart so not like it was that bad.I mostly pretend they sound like Karens. It makes everything hilarious.

Just that at P.E it was annoying when I couldn't properly play soccer.

I like soccer!

That was one of the unfair things anyway. And since I always went on the bus and mostly with Nathan home the couldn't beat me up or things like that. I mostly overheard their ambush plans and avoided them so it hadn't gone physical. Yet.

No, the most annoying thing was Mr. Moran's classes. Damn bastard ignores them when they throw paper balls at me and spread rumors about me. He deliberately ignores it when they switch seats with the kid behind me so they can kick my chair the whole period long. It did make me consider committing murder.

Like right now. Fuckboy which I will now call him because he's annoying as hell has been kicking my chair for over 15 minutes while Mr. Moran looked at him a couple of times and only said he should be quieter.

My eyelid was twitching and I considered just jumping out of the window. I caught Dean's eye who was watching the whole thing with worried eyes. He, seeing my clearly agitated expression shook his head. I pointed at fuckboy and made strangling motions with my hands. He immediately shook his head clearly thinking I shouldn't strangle him.

Fuckboy kicked especially hard wich made me nearly faceplant onto my table. I straightened and turned to the kid still seeing Dean shaking his head in horror.

I smiled a polite smile at fuckboy who raised his eyebrow, still kicking my fucking chair. The classroom became silent people anticipating my words.

"Could you refrain from making your foot repeatedly touch the chair I am sitting on or I will acquaintance your face with a heavy object used to construct houses with." I drily said still smiling a fake smile.

He made a face trying to decipher my words and just giving up and keep kicking my chair again. My whole body twitched at this and I just got up and put my books in my bag. Mr. Moran seeing this immediately asked:" What do you think you are doing Mr. Sparrow?"

I twitched again and calmly smiled at the teacher thinking about ways to not strangle the kid behind me. " I thought it was obvious I am packing my stuff, sir?" I drily said still smiling.

Mr. Moran looked a bit unsettled but pressed on. "It's not time yet so why are you packing up?"

"Oh, I was just going to switch seats with someone who, and if that's not possible probably just jump out of a window- I mean going to the principal's office because I wondered when I was supposed to see my counselor again." I seriously said nodding.

"You know what I'm going to do that last one. Yeah, that's a great option now may I please be excused of this class so I can visit the principle, sir?" I asked him tilting my head in question. He wordlessly nodded at me still not used to my chaotic talk around him I used to distract him.

Since he nodded I smirked and walked out of the classroom to the Principle's office. The route I was intimately familiar with. I knocked on the door and opened it when he said I could come in. I lazily walked to the seat I got used to and slumped onto it smiling at the clearly amused man.

He raised his eyebrow in question asking me why I was there. So I just asked him:" When was I supposed to meet my counselor again? And where? Who is it exactly?" I bombarded him.

He, of course, being used to this, nodded and cleared his throat. He grabbed a paper and looked up again.

"Well you'll be meeting him tomorrow after your last class, you can come down here and I'll introduce you both to each other. He's new here, but he has a clear looking record in his file, his name is Phil Coulson." He said not realizing his implications. My eyes widened but he didn't notice still looking at the paper. I schooled my expression and smiled a fake smile.

"If you're so sure, sir. That was all." The moment I finished that sentence the bell rang signaling the end of the school day. I got up and grabbed my bag again leaving the office. I made my way to my locker, grabbed my stuff, and made my way to the exit when I felt myself be boxed in by 3 people, 2 put their hands on my shoulder.

I turned to see the lackeys of fuckboy surrounding me. I tried to jerk away from them but that only made their holds tighter. They guided me to the other side of the school, to the back and past the fence which divided it from the forest behind it. They went into it deeper so no one could see us.

I was met with the smug looking bastard who stood there like he won the lottery. I glared at him while the goons pushed me forward making me stumble. I straightened and glared at them again. He, of course, returned the gesture.

I then dismissed it and looked for an exit but I was surrounded. 4 to 1.

Cursing my luck I faced the douche and folded my arms over my chest, cocking my eyebrow at him. Let's see where this is going.

An obvious power play. Remote location. He wants me to know he's in control. How nice. So obvious buttons to push is making him doubt his control. What a game plan.

He was still smirking. He took a step forward until he was a meter away from me. He signaled something to his friend's which made them grab my arms again. I tried to struggle out of their grip but they wouldn't let go. I looked up at the smug bastard who was enjoying this. Someone grabbed my backpack and dropped it somewhere.

"What do you want?" I asked him scowling.

His smile widened. "Oh? His majesty finally deemed us worthy enough to talk to us?" He said sounding condensing.

I scowled feeling confused about that. "What do you mean? You were deliberately ignoring me and making my days inconvenient, why would I not return the gesture of ignoring you?" I asked him confused.

Is he trying to pull something?

He took a step forward shoving his hands in his pockets. "Now, why would I do that?" He asked in faux hurt.

Yep, definitely trying to pull something.

"How would I know? I just told you to piss off but it seems you aren't really good at listening are you?" I countered deadpanning at him.

He smiled again looking down at me. "Now what a mouthy kid. Not that smart to be so rude now is it?" He asked smugly. My eyelid twitched and my hands clenched.

"I thought we established I wasn't a kid? Or did that get lost in translation?" I said scowling up at him. Which made his smirk widen. He took out his hands from his pockets placing them relaxed beside them. I carefully looked at him and tugged at my arms looking if the goons had loosened their grip which wasn't the case.

I scowled harder not liking where this was going.

"Now now if you aren't such a child as you say you'll be able to take some hits, right?" He said voice full of arrogance. I warily watched him.

"Don't you dare touch me, you bastard." I venomously spat out to him. I felt the grip on my arms tighten at the cuss word. His smirk got broader. His arm retracted and then he punched me in the stomach. The punch felt harder than it should be making me double over getting the air dragged out of me. My glasses fell to the ground somewhere.

I immediately straightened, harshly trying to struggle free knowing this wasn't going to be the only blow on my body today.

"Let me go you annoying-" Another punch at the same space. I tried not to double over again feeling the bruise that was going to form there. I glared at the bastard who was happy about my predicament.

"What? Cat got your tongue, Lawson?" He asked.

"Don't call me that!" I said glaring up at him. He cocked his head and punched me in my face. My head flew back, my vision going black. I felt the grip on my arms tightening while I tried to blink away the spots seeing his smiling face.

"And why would I do that?" He asked smugly. "Why would I listen to a little fag like you?" He said haughtily.

I blicked at him in confusion. "I'm not gay..?" I said to him. He punched me again hitting my cheek making me bite the flesh and letting it bleed. I grimaced, tasting the blood in my mouth. Blood does not taste good.

"Right. And why would I believe such a lie?" He asked skeptically. Raising his eyebrow again like the notion I'm not gay would honestly shock him. " You obviously aren't interested in women now are you?" He said as if that would explain it.

I scowled at him and said: "Just because I am not a horny bastard like you lot, doesn't mean I'm automatically gay!" He didn't like that and punched me in my stomach making me wheeze out a breath. He may know how to pack a punch. But I know how to take them.

"Yeah, right." He sarcastically said. I heard some shuffling of his feet coming closer. He grabbed my collar making me face him again. He was smirking.

"Are you done lying you wittle kwid." He said. "Didn't your parents teach you that's bad?" He asked mockingly. I snarled at him spitting in his face.

"Well, yours obviously didn't teach you to keep your hands to yourself did they?" I hotly shot back at him struggling again wanting to punch the bastard.

His face was scarily blank as he wiped away the spit mixed with blood from his cheek. He immediately grabbed my collar again pulling me closer to him. His face was twisted into rage.

Oh, I may have pushed too far.

"You little bastard, I'm going to show you not to mess with me. I'll teach you not to cross me again. You're just begging for a good beating." He snarled out. He let go of my collar took a step back and _twisted_.

His whole arm snapped forward clocking me in the face wich made me lose my balance and fall. The goons holding me couldn't hold me and let me fall harshly to the ground. I groaned trying to get up but the bastard was over me caging me between his legs. He grabs my collar and his arm went back again and snapped forward again.

My vision went black and I felt tears gather in my eyes. I tried to blink them away but the next fist came down again. I felt panic bubbling in my stomach as I cried out in pain. He stopped at the sound dropping my collar. My head snapped back onto the ground I felt tears slipping down my face and my face burning in pain. I couldn't get up as the world was spinning around me.

That's why I rather dodge. Punches to the face can hurt. A lot. It feels like my face is on _fire_.

Someone grabbed my hair which made me lift my head and glared at the fucker. He was smirking down at me. I felt the goons grab my arms again holding them so I didn't attack their boss.

"Now, now, Lawson. Defeat suits you." He said cruelly. I glared at him baring my teeth.

"Fuck off." I snarled out.

"Oh, such strong language. I don't think I will, after all, we aren't done yet, are we? I still have to prove a point now, don't I?" He said haughtily. I struggled, trying to get out from under him. He grabbed my collar again and made me come closer again. He was smirking pulling back his arm again.

I flinched away on instinct, which made his smile broader. The fist came flying down again making me close my eyes. It didn't arrive. I hastily opened them again to see him smile in victory.

Ah. So that's how he's playing this.

"Scared?" He asked mocking me.

My expression blanked completely. Impassive I looked at him with blank eyes. I cocked my head at him. His grin turned into a sneer when he couldn't read me anymore.

"Answer me, Lawson!" He demanded shaking me by my collar. I just blankly stared at him carefully keeping everything off my face.

Don't give him what he wants. Don't make it easy.

He scowled down at me and suddenly his face smoothed out. He began to grin again.

"Now, now, Lawson. Looks like the rumors are true, you would enjoy being underneath another man now wouldn't you." He said haughtily. He smoothed out his grip on my collar correcting it and my tie. I furrowed my brows in confusion, his cruel smile widens in answer, there was a glint in his eye.

I didn't like it. I did not like this direction. I was immediately aware of my position. And his.

He suddenly came way to close boxing me between him with his arms beside my head. I tried to shrink away from him but couldn't escape. Behind me, there was only an unforgivable ground with rocks and sticks digging in my back.

I struggled to try to get out and away I got the sense something bad was going to happen. He didn't like my struggling, putting his left arm on my chest above my heart and pressed down. I went stock-still watching him with fearful eyes.

We all know the fear. Not all experienced, but we know of it.

His sadistic ego was being fat by this. He looked down at me with that same glint in his eyes. His other hand made it's way to my neck and he loosely wrapped his fingers around my throat smiling.

I was getting scared, feeling his cold fingers pressing down around my throat. I had a fear of drowning, that comes down to suffocating and not being able to do anything about it.

Basically, this situation was one of my fears. I tried to get my arms out of the grips of the goons but they held a bruising grip around it. I felt the fingers dig into my skin and I felt tears gathering into my eyes in fear. It wasn't even enough to properly block my airways but it scared me. The promise of what can happen scared me.

This, of course, made the scumbag smile wider. His face came closer and went to my ear and then he whispered something horrifying into it.

What he was going to do me. To the little gay boy who was asking for it. I violently struggled feeling tears going down my cheeks in fear. I wanted to run, I wanted to go _home_.

I was shaking and withering trying to get the fuck out from under the- the monster above. He was breathing at my ear making me flinch away from him in dread it felt like the world was closing in on me as I tried to get away from him with a single-minded focus.

Then we heard a crunch from behind him. He immediately shot up seeing a tall figure.

"Shit a teacher run!" He said scrambling away. His goons and him taking off.

I felt immediate relief, it crashed into my like a wave. Letting me breathe. I scrambled around, trying to find my glasses and smashing them on my face when I did. I was shaking trying to get my breathing under control when I was the familiar face of someone who was definitely not a teacher.

From under brown disrayed hair, the blank face of the winter soldier was looking at me. He held a gun in his hand and was looking down at me.

I was still shaking in fear and tried to scramble back when he suddenly was over me and having 2 hands closed around my throat. I scratched at his hands trying to get air again feeling so scared as he just watched me with cold disinterested eyes. There was nothing there that would indicate that there was a person before me.

I felt my eyes fill with tears and them falling down my cheeks. My whole body wriggling and struggling to survive, hating that this was happening to me.

When it felt like I was going to pass out, he finally let me go, getting off of me. I gasped for air rolling away couching and scratching at my throat. My limbs felt heavy and my head was filled with cotton. I heard him walking back and sat up looking at his back.

I cleared my throat and hoarsely said:" Who- who're you?"

He stopped walking and turned back around blankly looking at me. Again there was nothing there. Just a gaze meeting mine.

So I did the obvious thing that anyone would do when faced with a brainwashed-tortured assassin. I gave him comfort food.

I grabbed my bag and opened it pulling out a chocolate bar and opened it. I shoved it his way and he just looked at it.

I realized he probably wouldn't grab it suspecting it was poisoned so I broke it in half and shoved half in my mouth. Holding it up again after chewing and swallowing it, he was looking at me again.

He carefully walked forward and grabbed it from my fingers. Putting it to his lips, he cautiously looked at me while taking a small bite from it. His eyes widened and he took a bigger bite from it. After another bite, he finished it in seconds looking at me silently asking me for more.

I stuck my hand into my bag again and found another one. I opened it and gave it to him after breaking a small bit off and eating it to show again it wasn't poisoned. He immediately grabbed it and ate it.

I watched him devour the chocolate and look like he wanted more again. I looked through my bag not finding another one. I looked up and shook my head sadly. He looked disappointed(alive). I brightened and said:" I can buy you another one if you want? Only if you don't start to choke me again though."

He carefully looked me over and then nodded. I smiled and got up messaging my throat. I widened my eyes and then turned back to the school. He kept standing there though unmoving.

I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion but he kept standing there.

"Aren't you coming?" I asked him in confusion.

He shook his head grabbing his gun and turning away. He walked into the forest again. I was left there confused. I watched him go and in seconds I was alone in the clearing.

Ha, take that Alex, I can totally make friends. I just have to bribe people with chocolate.

I grabbed my phone and saw it was too late for me to catch a bus, which meant I had to walk back home.

Great, on top of a bad day at school, figuring out my counselor is a spy and likely not going to be of any help, the whole shit show that just happened, I also have to walk back! This. This is so unfair. This is why Thanos snaps the universe.

I walked out of the forest and walked past the school. I saw him and his goons being scolded by a teacher for going into the forest. Carefully walking past them trying to make myself as small as possible I tried to escape.

But I knew that wasn't going to happen when I heard _him_ call my name. I turned back away and tried to take a step.

"Oh, there you are Lawson! We were waiting for you, you know!" I heard someone jogging and felt someone's arm going hanging around my neck. I carefully looked at the ground trying to ignore him. What a pest.

"Mr. Sparrow? Why are you still at school. Normally you take the first bus home and hang out with Mr. Grey." Came Professor Hollow's voice in confusion. I felt horror wash over me and shrank into myself.

Oh, shit a teacher that cares. Oh fuck.

"Ah you see Mr. Hollow, Mr. Laswon here promised to help me with our homework!" The bastard said happily. I was still staring at my feet, trying to shrink away from the bastard who was leaning into my personal space. This is why we have personal boundaries. Get out of my bubble, trash.

There was a tense silence wich then was broken by Profesor Hollow.

"Is this true Sparrow?" He asked. His voice was blank. I felt the arm around me tighten and I tensed up refusing to turn around. I didn't say anything or move. I felt dread wash over me not wanting to deal with any of this bull shit. Tears gathered in my eyes again and the arm around me tightened again in warning.

I shoved the bastard of me turned around and ran past the confused Mr. Hollow whose eyes widened when seeing my disheveled state sprinting past him.

"FUCK- Lawson!" I heard the bastard scream and run after me. I didn't even look back as I sprinted past the school and down the road. I didn't stop as I ran past Nathan who was coming back from practice. His arm shot out and snatched me before I ran into oncoming traffic saving me from getting run over.

I was wheezing with tears running down my face shaking and trying to scramble _away_. Panic was coursing through my veins and terror pooled into my stomach. I don't know why but my body was afraid. Nathan's grip tightened on my arm and didn't let go if he did I would run before an oncoming car, he probably knew that.

"LAWSON GET BACK HERE!" Came the bastard scream. I violently flinched and my panicked eyes met Nathans. I heard the pounding of feet on the sidewalk coming closer and shrank into myself feeling scared of something.

I heard the feet coming to a screeching halt behind me and felt the hand of the bastard fall onto my shoulder. I flinched away trying to tug my arm out of Nathans's vice grip.

Nathan confusedly said: "Demian? What are you doing with my brother?"

The bas- Demian turned to Nathan as if he hadn't seen him. "Oh, Nathan! Haha, a funny story you know we got in a bit of a scuffle playing soccer and I accidentally hurt Tony. I was going to apologize but he just suddenly ran off!" He said like _it was my fault_.

I violently shook and tried to get away from him, when that didn't work I shoved him off me again screaming: "Don't touch me, you sick bastard!"

My chest was heaving as I was glaring at him he pretended to be confused and cocked his head at me. "What do you mean Tony?" He asked.

Another mask. He's playing. He likes this.

I shuddered, angrily wiping away my tears and spitting out blood on the sidewalk. "You touch me again you fucker I will castrate you, you lying fucker of a scumbag!" I said.

See I can threaten you too.

He winced looking more confused.

Nathan was watching the interaction with confused eyes conflicted between who to believe. Not like I needed him to. The bastard can't hurt me on a street, where a shout can bring anyone running here.

I glared shaking at the bastard and said: "Don't pretend you didn't- you didn't try to-" I choked on my words looking at him with accusing eyes. He looked over with the same predatory eyes which made me shiver and wrap my arms around me. Disturbing.

Nathan stepped in holding his hands up trying to defuse the tension. "Calm down both of you. I'm sure it's not that bad. As you can see Tony doesn't want to speak to you Demian, so why don't you try to talk to him tomorrow, huh?" He said calmly. Demian nodded and walked past me, patting my shoulder and smirking at me. I flinched away from him and watched him and his goons disappeared down the streets.

Nathan turned to me calmly looking me over. And then worriedly asked:" What happened?"

I shivered shaking my head turning and walking home. He stepped behind me, following me. I kept running and I heard Nathan trying to keep up but I started to sprint trying to just get away taking a turn I fell and was met with the blue again.

I stumbled into a corridor colliding with someone. I scrambled back in fear and saw Fury's confused expression. I screamed and turned away from him I blindly ran into a room and was met with more avengers. I was shaking again and looking around me in confusion.

I felt someone grab me and in a sudden bout of desperation, I turned kicking the person behind me. I twisted away from the other hand that shot out dancing around the person and grabbing the knives they had in their holesters.

I held the 2 knives in my hands and backed away from them, crouching low only seeing blurs of people, I was shaking. Another hand shot out again and dived away rolling over the ground and scrambling upward and away. Someone tried to pin my arms to me but struggled out of their grip and turned slashing at someone who was so much bigger than. I flinched away still trembling and when another arm reached out I rumped back onto a table.

I was scrambling back and fell down with a yelp. The knives fell with a clatter from my grasp, with it fell my only defense. I backed away against the wall and curled up, holding my arms over my head and rocking back and forward. I felt nauseous and I was sweating. The only thing I wanted was it all to stop. I was crying and unable to breathe. My head was a mess of too many thoughts and no sense. I began to scratch at my throat in panic.

Someone grabbed my arms which made me struggle and lash out trying to get away while crying. The person refused to bunch though. I heard a familiar voice through the buzzing in my ears wich pierced through my panic.

"Hey kiddo can you please breathe for me? In and out just like last time remember? In and out yeah just like that, you're doing great. Can you please keep doing that for me?"

My eyes snapped open and I was met with the brown eyes of none other than Tony Stark. He was trying to calm me down again.

I hoarsely asked: "Tony?" He looked relieved I was responding.

"Yeah, yeah, it's me, kiddo. You gave me quite the scare, you know. And damn those moves I never saw someone stump cap so dam fast. You gotta teach me that!" He said rambling on with a smirk. I gradually relaxed. I was still shaking but not as scared anymore. I weakly smiled at him happy to see him.

I felt so tired but blinked trough it and furrowed my brows and looked at him. "How did you know where I live?" I asked him in confusion.

He barked out a laugh and shook his head. "Oh, I don't have a clue where you live kiddo. Fury won't tell me and he hasn't put it in any of his files. I've been trying to figure out where you live for ages! On that note we're not at your house kiddo we're at the ultra super secret shield hideout. Shhh, you can't tell any of your friends though okay?" He said jokingly.

I blinked tired trying to think how I ended up here. "Oh... I fell through a portal again?" I asked him.

He nodded and smiled. "Now kiddo wanna get up and explain why you were in such hysterics or would you rather get some warm chocolate with me?" He asked.

I yawned and said: "Chocolate." Feeling really tired. He happily hoisted me up, letting me stand on my own legs. I tried to rub my eyelids but hissed feeling the bruises on them. I blinked again and looked up seeing a worried-looking Tony looking down at me. He held his hand in silent question for me to take it. I, seeing no reason to refuse, grabbed it.

He carefully walked around the table tugging me along. I looked with furrowed eyebrows around me and at the shocked looking avengers.

Steve had a small cut on his cheek that was already healing again, Natasha looked disheveled and missed 2 knives from her holsters and Clint was looking at me with wide eyes following my movements like a hawk.

I followed after Tony confused and saw Fury standing at the door. I violently flinched away from him and shrank into myself looking at the ground. I saw Tony carefully stepping before me and hushedly talking to the man. I didn't get why I reacted like that. Fury was a cool spy why did I flinch-

He's the reason I was there. He just gave me away and I hate him _I hate him_ ** _I hate him_**. My shoulders started to shake as I felt tears gather into my eyes again. I looked up and glared at Fury. He looked taken aback.

"It's your fault it's your fault he was going to- They hurt me- I couldn't breathe- They wouldn't let me go- they hate me- he was going to- I couldn't move- they wouldn't stop and- and- IT'S YOUR FAULT!" I was screaming and crying again folding my arms around me, trying to stop and I was choking again. I felt Tony's hands hovering over my shoulders not touching me.

I looked up at him through tear-filled eyes, which made everything blurry.

"Let's get you that chocolate kiddo." He said holding his hand out again. I immediately took it and followed after him.

We went past some hallways filled with people. I was blankly following him. We exited the building and went into his car. He called someone while I just took a seat and put on my seatbelt waiting for him to start the car. After he was done talking he wordlessly started the car and drove us somewhere. After a while, we arrived at the now known Avenger tower.

He rode into the garage and then hopped out the car waiting for me. I took off my seatbelt and carefully walked after him. I slipped my hand in his and looked at the elevator, the buttons had numbers in braille and I was fascinated with the whole building. When we arrived at the destined floor he tugged me out the elevator and we walked into a hallway. He went into the living room and sat me down on the sofa. Setting my backpack beside it. After making sure I was comfortable he sat down beside me and opened the flat screen before us. He wordlessly opened a movie gallery.

He selected the movie: Wreck-it Ralph. The first movie. I didn't know that was out in 2012... I watched the beginning of the movie and after some time, I heard the ding of the elevator which made me flinch. I looked with big eyes as Happy came striding in scowling. He was carrying 2 cups and placed them on the table.

Tony immediately passed one to me which made me smell it and get hit with the heavenly smell of chocolate milk I eagerly drank it up even though it was hot on my tongue. It burned a bit making me stick my tongue out and scowl. I looked at Tony who was shaking and laughing at me. I stuck my burned tongue out at him making him dramatically grab for his chest. I rolled my eyes at him and continued to drink while watching the movie.

After finishing the drink I was getting more and more tired. After a while, I fell asleep.

* * *

I woke up gasping for breath, the images of multiple people chocking me flashing through my mind. I was shaking again and shot up looking beside me to see the couch empty. I whimpered and turned to the empty room.

No one was here which made me panic more. I started to shake again and shot up from the couch in search of Tony.

I didn't see him but didn't want to leave the room in fear of getting lost.

"Can I help you with anything Mr. Sparrow?" Came the British voice of Jarvis.

I jumped startled and looked around me. Realizing it was the AI I cleared my throat and shakily asked:" Where is Mr. Stark?"

"Mr. Stark is now in the kitchen area. He is currently getting scolded by Miss Potts for his efforts in cooking. Would you like me to lead you to him?" Jarvis asked me.

I nodded and followed the instructions of him leading me to the kitchen.

I arrived at the comical sight of Tony Stark pouting over some burned food with Miss Potts looking seconds away from strangling him.

"But I was trying to get mini Tony some food!" He said squawking.

"Stop referring to yourself as mini Tony and for god sake, you know you can't cook why do you insist on burning everything!" Miss Potts retorted.

I laughed at the sight which immediately made their attention snap to me. Tony happily yelled: "Mini Tony!" and scrambled my way.

I chuckled ( _did not giggle shut up-_ ) and said:" I'm not a mini Tony! I'm average height for my age!" There was a mildly offended undertone to my sentence but was more dominated by amusement.

He smiled at me crossing his arms. "Well, what else would I possibly call you! Your first name is Tony, my first name is Tony. And both our last names start with an S! And I'm the older one of the two so obviously, that makes me big Tony. Wich leaves Tiny Tony- I mean Mini- uh... Tony junior? Yeah, Tony Junior as you!" He happily said. I corrected him by kicking at his shins.

I nodded deeming Junior okay.

"Wait he didn't mean himself?" Miss Potts exclaimed. Tony pouted at this.

"Why would I ever refer to myself as mini?" He said scandalized. The double meaning making me snort and roll my eyes. I relaxed.

I yawned again feeling tired. I blearily blinked again and look around seeing a chair and sitting down on it. I watched as they held easy conversations while Pepper made a sandwich. I put my head on the table and dozed off feeling relaxed.

I got shaken awake by Tony while Pepper put a plate with a sandwich before me. I blinked and then reached for it taking small bites eating it carefully. I munched on it and offered a piece to Tony who refused I did the same to Pepper but she also refused. I shrugged and kept on munching on the sandwich. I lazily flicked my eyes to the windows. It was nearing night, the sky was darkening.

I furrowed my eyebrow and shot up remembering the fact that I lived with a fucking foster family that probably were worried. I caught Tony's eyes who tensed the moment I had shot up.

"I... I gotta go back..." I said not wanting to. Something in his expression darkened but it wasn't pointed at me.

"Look kiddo, I would love to decipher where you live and bring you back to... The ones taking care of you I don't think it's that smart to do now. Maybe you'll just fall through a portal again for some reason. And I don't think your current guardian will even take care of you properly!" He sounded worried.

I smiled a sad smile at him.

"I don't wanna go either... But if I don't you could get charged with kidnapping and that would only make this all worse... I mean Mr. Fury chose them you know." I shrugged helplessly. Wanting to stay but knowing nothing good will come out of it. Only making matters worse. I couldn't burden him like that.

He looked like he wanted to protest but thought better of it. He nodded and agreed to take me back.

* * *

The ride was silent after I gave him the address. He looked mad and torn being behind the wheel. I grabbed my phone and gave him my number to put his mind to rest.

We arrived at the house the lights were on. I got out of the car and made my track to the door. I told Tony to stay in the car. He nodded but wasn't happy about it.

I knocked on the door and the mad face of the man opened it.

"Where the hell do you think you were this late?!" he screamed at me. I blankly stared at him. His face twisted and did something funny. He grabbed me by my arm and dragged me inside. I saw Tony getting out of his car, looking ready to intervene.

"Stop it or they'll call the cops on you." I hissed at the man. He looked startled and let me go. I looked at him madly and turned to Tony. I waved at him and watched him wave back and get back in his car driving off.

I turned back to the man who looked pale and walked past him into my bedroom. Locking the door behind me.

I immediately undressed grabbing something thicker and safer and dived under the covers of my bed. I refused to get out for dinner again and just stayed there shivering. I felt the bruises forming around my throat and saw the handprints on them.

I covered most of the bruises with bandages, my face, unfortunately, wasn't that coverable so I just hoped no one was going to say anything about it.

I didn't have any homework so I just went to sleep. Not caring at this point about anything.

The nightmares of someone above me trying to strangle me were vivid and recurring.

I didn't get that much sleep that night

* * *

The next day I went downstairs at the last moment running in the kitchen and grabbing a toast and running out following after Nathan. I immediately ate the toast and hurriedly made my way to the stop. Nathan couldn't ask me anything because I ignored him. I went to Dean the moment I saw him.

He freaked out looking me over asking me what happened. I blankly looked ahead and shook my head. He looked worried. The bus arrived and we went in. Demian was talking with his goons and smirking at me. I didn't even look at him and tugged Dean to a seat in the front far away from the bastard. I sat at the window and slumped down in exhaustion.

Dean looked at Demian and then at me. "Did he do something to you? "He asked worriedly. I tiredly looked at him and then back out the window not wanting to think about it.

The day passed with him shooting worried looks at me and Demian smirking at me the whole time. I was asked to stay behind in multiple classes by teachers who asked what happened to me. I shrugged and said I fell down the stairs. They didn't believe me but had to let me go.

Demian tried to corner me the whole day in isolated places but I always kept close to Dean or crowded spaces.

When the last bell rang I didn't make my way to my locker but the principles office. Knocking I entered when I heard a come in.

I saw Mr. Bear and Coulson talking to each other. Mr. Bear shot up when he saw the big bruise on my cheek. "Tony what happened!?" He asked worriedly. My eyes flickered to Coulson and back to him.

I shrugged and gave him the same answer as the others. "I fell down the stairs." He clearly didn't believe me but I had already turned to Phill. I stuck out my hand and said:" Nice to meet you. I'm Tony Sparrow. I'm assuming you're my counselor?"

He smiled a polite smile and nodded shaking my hand.

Mr. Bear wasn't happy about the change in subject but let it go.

Coulson took it over and asked:" Would you like to go to the designed room for councils or stay here Mr. Sparrow?" He was still politely smiling.

My eyes flickered to Mr. Bear and back to Coulson's eyes. I nodded and said:" The council rooms please." He nodded smiled at the principle and we left.

After some twists and turns, we arrived in the council room. He took a seat on a chair and I sat down on the sofa. Dropping my bag beside my I sighed and tiredly looked at the ceiling.

"Tell Fury to not bother. It's not like I will blab some secrets of the state or anything. I'm not dense." I darkly said counting the cracks on the ceiling.

I heard the ruffling of clothes.

"What gave me away?" He asked simply.

I sighed and simply said: "Name."

He let out a chuckle. "Of course." Like it came as no surprise.

I looked back at him tiredly. Blankly staring at him. He was analyzing.

"Are you going to tell me about your bruises?" He asked slightly leaning forward. His eyes were twinkling.

I half shrugged. "Didn't you hear? I fell down the stairs of course." I said just wanting to know how he would react to that.

"Oh? But I thought we both knew you were just lying. After all, that's not what you were saying yesterday." He drawled out.

I snorted.

"Fucking hell... Can't I catch a break?" I sighed again closing my eyes.

"What did Fury say again? Perfectly normal family, safe and away from the battlefield. As if. All I see is a broken home, danger at every corner I walk, and a new battlefield with vicious monsters trying to hurt me as much as possible." I opened my eyes and leaned forward looking at him willing him to understand.

"Why pray tell me, would I ever want to even discuss my tortured life with the person that gave me _away_ to people who only want to break me? Why would I ever tell anyone I hate so much what is wrong with me? The fact you all assumed I was happy and safe makes me want to stab you. Do you think I'm safe? I fucking fall trough portals any time of the day I can be in grave danger. So no. I do not want to tell you anything about my life. So kindly fuck off." I got up and walked out of the room slamming the door behind me.

I stalked away making my way to the entrance so I could leave only to bump into Mr. Hollow.

"Ah, Tony! Are you all alright? I was really worried when I saw you yesterday." He said critically assessing me.

"I'm fine sir." I curtly said looking anywhere but at him.

"Aha so if you are so as you said 'fine' would you please accompany me to my office so we can talk about your grade on your last test?" He drawled out.

I nodded and followed after him.

He opened the door and let me in not closing it behind him to show I could always leave whenever I wanted.

This is why he is awesome.

He sat down at his desk and I sat across him.

He cleared his throat and grabbed a paper with a grade on it.

"Most kids do not get my lessons, they only work because they think it would keep me off their back, they do not understand most of the things I teach but don't make an effort to try to. They think they can only get away with learning the basics and pass with it. Wich yes they can do that but it would not help them in their chosen careers. But you Mr. Sparrow seem to be the exception.

You seem to get the things I teach and exhale at every test I put before you. I have been steadily making them harder and harder yet you seem to get it at every turn. It makes it seem like the science in this world is 2 steps behind you and I am not the only one noticing it.

Most of the other teachers have been telling the headmaster that you are better than your peers and that you could even be a genius. They had all been making your load of work harder and harder but not once did you indicate you were falling behind or not getting it."

He was leaning forward intensely looking at me.

Okay yeah, the education wasn't like I was used to, most things weren't as far in their teachings as I was used to. I was after all almost 9 years in the past. Wich holy hell that's a lot.

"Now Mr. Sparrow most of my colleagues were curious about what you were going to make of your life. You could get an internship in almost any school, study to become someone great. Yet you seem impassive about your feature, which, to be frank, is concerning. You have never indicated to evening entertaining a future before you only half guessed it and made up excuses. What is it that you are afraid to say, Mr. Sparrow?" He asked.

I looked at him with wide eyes. I felt guilty and didn't know why.

"I... I don't..." I couldn't form any words. My mind was racing.

He leaned back.

"You don't have to tell me anything. I just wanted to let you know that any of the staff in this school wants you to get out there and live your best life, even if it looks to be so far away." His words sounded so genuine.

I nodded and then left, knowing this conversation was over.

I had to walk back but instead of walking straight back I stopped by the convenience store and grabbed some chocolate bars. And some candy.

Then I made my way back to the house. There was an absence in people but I didn't pay it any mind just going back to my room.

The moment I sat down I got a text. I startled and grabbed my phone looking at the lit screen.

**Tony Senior**

**Heya kiddo how are you doing?**

I looked at the screen for a minute and then unlocked my phone.

**Tony Junior**

**I'm doing all right. How are you?**

**Tony Senior**

**You would not believe the day I had.**

**Tony Junior**

**Oh, enlighten me?**

**Tony Senior**

**Well, first off all the explosions are going haywire. This terrorist group is making the whole country go crazy. Hell, I was getting worried about if the others were doing all right. Or if your school had a proper security system. You know, the usual. Second of all Pepper's been nagging at me for making more suits. I mean what else am I going to do? I'm Iron man. It's my jam. And can you believe that the government is still trying to get me to make weapons?**

**Tony Junior**

**I think the others are okay I hope. I am not really in a state to ask you know, but I can hope. Our school's security is good enough. And it depends on how many suits you're making, too much can cost you of your health and that can be dangerous. But yeah suits are your jam. And the government is still trying? Damn their dumber than they are trying to look then.**

**Tony Senior**

**Good to know you're on my side kid.**

**Tony Junior**

**On who else's side would I ever else be on? Tony's got to stick together you know.**

**Tony senior**

**If that's not the truth.**

**Tony Junior**

**Then life sucks.**

**Tony Senior**

**Well, go make your homework firecracker. Can't keep you off of that too long, can I? Someone's got to be a responsible adult around you.**

**Tony Junior**

**That would be ideal yeah. You then go catch some sleep and don't get too many nightmares. Tony Junior out~**

* * *

I woke up to screams. Feeling startled I shot out from my bed and looked at my door. There wasn't any banging or anything but I could hear the familiar sound of someone crying out.

My blood ran cold when I placed the name to the voice.

Jumping out of bed, I raced to my door opening and closing it behind me. I raced down the stairs and ran into the living room.

Nathan was on the ground cowering in fear. The scumbag stood before him snarling and his face and ugly red.

I dove before the flying fist, it hit my head and made me stumble to the ground. I was focused on the man before me.

"Don't you dare lay a finger on your son you scumbag." I snarled at him.

His face only went redder in madness and instead of answering me, he began hitting again. I dodged around most of the hits, some landing some didn't. I was tired and I knew I would never be able to keep this up but I can't stop because-

"STOP IT DAMMNIT!" Screamed Nathan's voice from behind me. He grabbed me and put me behind him. I looked up with big eyes as he stood before his dad. He looked scared out of his mind but still stood before me for some reason.

"YOU CAN'T HIT A FUCKING CHILD! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?" He looked terrified by his own words but still said them.

"Don't you dare use those words on me, you ungrateful child!" Rang the slurred voice of that man.

I trembled in rage and screamed back: "Children shouldn't have to be grateful, they're supposed to be happy and safe, you utter bastard of a man!"

This only agitated him but instead of hitting either of us he picked up a bottle and threw it at a wall. We both flinched away from the shards and watched him pace and grumble under his breath. He kept pacing, sometimes stopping and taking a step towards us but then immediately stopping and going back to pacing.

We watched him tire himself out going on and on till he just left the room and went into the backyard.

We were left there with the two of us. Nathan looked pale and I saw tears in his eyes. I reached out and put my hand on his forearm trying to ground him to the now. It was over after all.

He flinched but immediately recovered looking down at me. He looked so confused.

I felt a pang in my heart.

"I don- I never- I couldn't watch it anymore. He never stops. He never stops when he beats you. He only ever pushes me around and yells at me but he never hurts me as he hurts you. I just wanted him to stop. How can he hurt someone so so small- I can't- how..?" His voice sounded empty and his gaze burned with intensity.

I was speechless. I felt tears pool in my eyes. Taking a shuddering breath I looked him in the eyes.

"I'm sorry you had to see me get beaten. I'm sorry, I'm sorry it wasn't your fault I'm sorry I-"

"NO! Don't say _that_. Someone had to protect you and I couldn't before because he's supposed to be my dad and he willingly took you in yet how can he be like that? He never was like that I don't know how to fix it- _I don't know how to fix it._ " He was crying outright sobbing. He looked devastated and I couldn't-

I let out a shaky laugh and smiled up at him."Thank you, thank you, thank you. thank you, thank you for crying for me, thank you for trying for me, thank you for seeing me as something more than what others see. Thank you. And I'm sorry it had to be this way. I'm sorry you think you have to fix this, I'm sorry you couldn't see anyone else to help and I'm sorry to have changed everything like this."

He only sobbed further sagging into me. He clung to my shoulders trying to stay upright. His earlier visage of the though jock was gone. He looked far more fragile than he had a right to have.

God, why do I always muck things up.

* * *

**_-Before I die-_ **

_By Tony Sparrow_

_There are a million things I could write down on this list but, I won't. (can't)_

_Before I die,_

_I want to see the people I love at their happiest. I want to see them smile and feel that warm feeling that fills inside your chest making you warm and tingly and alive. (I want to be alive)_

_Before I die,_

_I want to see my family. (They're gone gone gone)_

_Before I die,_

_I want to make sure everything will work out for after I am gone. I want to make sure the people I care about won't fall and damage themselves beyond repair because I am gone. I want them to be happy. (Because I wasn't able to be)_

_Before I die,_

_I want to be able to help my loveable friends, family, and others. I want to pick them up when they are low and raise them to the clouds. I want them to see the sun and shine as bright as the stars._

_Before I die._

_I want to have lived. (To live)_

_And when I die?_

_I want others to live instead of me. But please don't forget about me even when I'm gone. I don't want them to hurt but, I don't want to be thrown away either so. Don't forget about me. (please)_

_And live._

_TS~_

* * *

School was danger at every corner. School was not wanting to speak anymore. School was trying to disappear. School was not changing in the locker rooms anymore. School was running away from confrontations. School was being scared. School was trying to keep my head down and avoid everyone. School was looking my friends in the eyes and lying.

School was hell and my tormentors loved it.

The days dragged on, it was agonizing. I couldn't stay calm or clear or normal because fuck.

I can't remember the last time I didn't twitch, didn't jump, didn't flinch. I wasn't scared but at the same time, I was. At the same time, I was utterly terrified.

The stares, the whispers, the shadows, and smiles. I couldn't stop thinking. And that didn't go unnoticed.

* * *

"Mr. Sparrow, stay behind." rang mister Hollow's voice. My eyes flickered up and immediately lowered again. I heard the chuckles from some kids, they thought I was in trouble. I wasn't going by the tone of voice the man used.

Dean looked worried but after I nodded at him he left still looking uncertain.

I leaned back in my chair looking up at the teacher. His face was quite grim. Did something bad happen?

"Mr. Sparrow could you tell me what is going on with you?" he asked straight to the point.

My eyes flickered to my shoes and I wondered why I felt so small.

"Nothing sir," I whispered instead. The lie making me choke but I can't tell them. Can't can't can't can't can't shut up shut up shut up shut up.

"I don't think it's nothing. And while I don't know what exactly is wrong, you know we all want what's best for you. So even if you don't want to tell me, any other teacher would be happy to help." he said redirecting the conversation having noted my lie and my discomfort and trying to ease me and not jump out of my skin.

I nodded. Choke choke choke no air air air- water in my ears and everything is muffled and shut up shut _up shut up._

"All right, don't let me hold you up. You can go if you want," he said dismissing me but he still looked worried.

I ignored it.

Ignore it.

Silence.

* * *

Demian was before me. He looked quite smug, crossed hands before him blocking the exit of the door. The only door out of the deserted classroom. We were in our math classroom. Our dear teacher had told Demian to talk it out with me after the brat told him he had a little fight with me and wanted to make up.

Demian of course locked us in.

I glared at him shifting around trying to find an escape.

"Don't bother looking for another exit Tony. Unless you can fly I wouldn't risk jumping out the third-floor window, wouldn't I?" He shot at me smirking. Who knew kids could be this vicious. Oh yeah, I did. Fuckers.

I shifted again hating the situation and cursing myself for being caught off guard like this. My head hurt and my bruises throbbed. My throat felt strangely dry and it burned. A reminder of our last encounter you could say.

"Oh come on Tony. As fun as this game of cat and mouse was, I really just want to go back to playing again. Much more fun you see. You on your knees make a lovely picture after all." He sing-song smiling innocently.

Why do I attract the crazy ones? Did I kick puppy's in a past life or something?!

"Aww back to the silent treatment? Shame Mr. Moran did tell us to make up didn't he?" He _actually_ whined. There is something seriously wrong with this kid. He started to come closer smiling. I immediately shuffled back away from him.

"No need to be so afraid little birdie, I won't hurt you... too much." He was grinning and I could only feel the dread washing over me. I was stumbling backward till my legs caught on a chair and I fell to the ground. I awkwardly tried to shuffle away from the damn creep but every time I went back he took steps forward. The lights were flickering again which made the scene looked like one out of a horror movie. They then died making the only light source come from the windows.

My back then hit the dreaded wall and how could I be so stupid I saw this a million times on tv how did I not see this coming? Demian only smiled wider he found the situation particularly funny.

"Come on now birdie, no snark? Cat caught your tongue?" He asked tilting his head. I could feel the crazy roll off him in waves. He was leaning forward, his face above mine again to close for comfort and even if I shrink into myself it didn't make him go away.

I unclenched my jaw, tried to relax, tried to be okay but I could only feel panic and calm at the same time. But even though I was there I wasn't there too. My head was swimming yet everything was clear.

"I-I..." I stuttered at a loss not knowing what to say.

"Yes..?" He asked leaning more towards me his eyes following my wince and retreat into myself.

"I can scream now. Someone is bound to notice." I finally said. My eyes were flickering all over the place and I swallowed feeling nauseous.

"Oh really? Do you think I hadn't thought about that? Funny you see, two classes to the left some club is watching a horror movie. Further in the hallway, some little band is practicing their heavy metal skills. Do you think anyone is going to notice? There are no other people anywhere near and... Why would they care what happens to you?" He leaned further in and all I wanted to do was disappear.

"Come on Tony you really think I'm that stupid? Even if someone heard something the door is locked and some of my... Friends are in the hallway told to stop anyone from entering. After all, we are here to make up, right? Because we had a fight and of course sometimes people scream or get worse. Right?" He was grinning viscously.

I watched the glint in his eyes with cold detachment and I wondered. How come I'm afraid of him? I faced aliens, faced an adult drunkard on a daily bases why was I scared of him when fucking Thanos existed? Why was I scared?

Then he put his hand on my throat and squeezed. Immediately panic flooded every inch of my body. I couldn't breathe and the only thing that I saw was his smug face.

Oh yeah. That's why.

Then I realized no one was holding me down. No one was keeping me from protecting myself.

My hands flew up and grabbed his hand. I tore it away from me and pushed him away from me. I was panting for air and I felt tears rolling down my cheeks. Everything felt too much but I stood up on shaking legs and glared at him.

His grin had only widened.

"Oh so we are going to play?" he idly asked.

I took a step forward my hands clenching beside me.

"Let me out," I growled out to him.

"But we just began to play!" He said laughing. It sounded so wrong. Deranged and mad.

"You are messed up," I said in disbelieve.

"You just noticed?" He asked smiling.

I sharply inhaled. Then exhaled relaxing my tense form and loosely smiled.

"No... I already knew. Now. Before this gets ugly, let me out. Or don't. I'm fine with either option. I'll just grab those keys by force then." I drawled out sounding bored. My whole being going to lazy.

"Aw no no no no I liked you scared better! Come on don't put your emotions away again. I wanna play and it's no fun when you make no sound!" He said smiling carelessly like it didn't really matter what I did, he was going to get what he wanted anyway.

"Okey then," I said bored. Grabbing my phone and opening my contacts scrolling till I found the right number I dialed it.

"Hello junior!" Came Tony's voice. I smiled brightly.

"Heya! Now I got this pest problem that just won't leave me alone. How do I get rid of it." I idly asked eyeing the now pale idiot. I smirked his way.

"A pest? Um sure kiddo. I guess bug repellant? Or oh- I mean, a mean right hook or maybe I'll just dig around in their file and you know-"

"Calm down senior I don't want to destroy them. Also, I'm pretty sure that's illegal." My smile was filled with teeth. I held out my hand and rose an eyebrow in silent question.

He silently gave me the keys with wide eyes. I kept him in my view as I walked to the door and unlocked it. Opening it and then throwing it back to him. Demian caught the keys and then I slammed the door as I walked away.

"So guess how fast people get intimidated by a phone call," I asked happily.

"A lot, I can guess by your tone of voice." He said drily.

"A lot." I agreed. I walked past some of the lackey's but since I was calling someone they decided not to intervene. I walked passed them and went down the stairs feeling relieved. I finally reached the ground floor and then ran to a restroom and started to puke my guts out.

I only felt disgusted and hatred and fear and panic and-

"Holy shit- What happened kiddo?" Came the worried voice from my phone.

I looked at it and then flushed the toilet. Grabbing the phone and cleaning myself up I walked out of the restroom as if nothing happened.

"Nothing much. I think I ate something bad." I said flippantly and calmly walking on.

"Mr. Law- Sparrow!" Rang a voice behind me I pulled the phone away from my ear and turned around.

"Yes..?" I asked confused. I watched as Mr. Moran came stalking forward with a gleeful Demian hot on his heels.

I groaned out loud as he came to a stop before me.

He scowled at me. I squished the childish urge to stick out my tongue at him.

"What is it, Mr. Moran?"I asked the clearly upset teacher.

"Detention." He curtly answered looking mad.

I rose an eyebrow at the man. "May I ask why, sir?" I politely asked having learned that's the only way I can deal with this man.

"Why- Why!? You messed up my classroom, scared poor Demain half to death with your threats and you forcefully grabbed the key I gave him and threw them at him! And you dare ask me why? I knew you were trouble just like the other Lawson! Your madness is not appreciated in my classes and I sure as hell am not going to stand for it!" He screamed at me. I blinked and my eyes flickered to Demain who had put up woe is me act on.

I sighed.

"And how. Sir. Do you know any of this is true?" I asked Mr. Moran.

He spluttered. "How? Because Mr. Hound told me of course!" He said like that was sensible.

"Hound. Fitting last name Demian." I drily said. He grinned but quickly schooled in his expression.

"MR LAWSON!" Shouted Mr. Moran in rage. I flinched away from him on instinct.

"It's Sparrow. Sir." I said.

"I bloody well will call you whatever the hell I want you rascal. Your disrespect is not appreciated. I should talk to the principal about this behavior of yours! Delinquents like you should be expelled! That detention is doubled!" He shouted at me and then stormed off.

I whistled watching him storm off.

"Damn that man is made of rage, isn't he? Or he just hates me either could be the answer." I deadpanned. I turned back to the grinning Demian.

"So you lied?" I asked tilting my head.

"Wasn't so hard. Threw over some desks and chairs and acted like a child. Easy." He said happily.

"And why, pray tell did you do that?" I asked him scowling.

"Because I wanted to of course." He said. He then stepped closer his voice lowering. "Next time you won't escape so easily."

He then proceeded to turn around and walk off. I of course did the same.

"Well. Fuck."I drawled out. Then I realized I still had my phone in my hand and oh shit I was still calling Tony-

"I'm so sorry you had to hear that-"

"Did this happen before!?" Came Tony's voice.

"Um kinda? Never this bad. This is even going to be the first detention of my life." I said.

"Kinda?! Kid that's harassment and I'm-"

"No need to worry about it." I intervened. "Don't worry about it, Tony. I just have to talk to Mr. Moran later to tell him what actually happened and then it'll be okay. It's really not that big of a deal. Ah, SHIT MY BUSS GOTTA GO BYE-"

I had noticed there was a cemetery near the house. So I took my backpack filled with snacks and drawing stuff with me. Listening to music and drawing relaxed me and seeing as in that house I could never relax I could do it there.

At the cemetery.

I had found a lone tree providing perfect shade so I settled there. Putting my stuff on the ground I began to unload everything I needed.

Carefully grabbing a pencil and paper I began to draw. Familiar faces started to grow onto the paper.

That of my own family.

My mom, my dad, my big sister, and my little brother. I drew my nieces, cousins, uncles, and aunts. My best friend and my other friends. I drew my room, my school, and even our car.

I couldn't stop.

Till I saw boots before me which made me jump and drop everything. I looked up to see the familiar face of one winter soldier.

My eyes widened and I smiled. "Good to see you again." I simply said.

I shuffled a bit and reached for the chocolate in my bag. Having grabbed big ones I snapped them one in half and gave it to him trying to enjoy my piece. He gently took it like he didn't want to break it and started to eat it. After he was done he dropped onto the ground in front of me and looked at me expectingly.

I let out a short laugh and dropped all the snacks before us. Letting him choose what he wants.

He looked like he didn't know so I just smiled and opened some of the wrappers or bags of snacks. Holding them out to him.

He grabbed one bag of chips and brought it close to his face. He smelled it and made a face before grabbing a chip. He carefully nibbled on it and then immediately ate it. I smiled and simply snacked myself.

After a while, he had eaten more than half of my snacks I barely had eaten anything but I didn't have to heart to stop him.

I went back to drawing but instead of drawing my family, I drew him. His eyes didn't look that empty, his disrayed hair looked healthier now that the sun was at the right angle. His face was warmly lit by the setting sun and his cheeks were puffed with food. He had crumbs everywhere and some chocolate at the corner of his mouth. Even though he sat perfectly he still looked relaxed.

After a while he noticed me having stopped and looked down at my drawing.

He leaned forward and I turned it to him.

He scanned the paper and reached out to it silently asking to hold it. I gave it to him and he silently scanned every detail. After a while, he nodded and gave it back.

I smiled warmly at him.

"I'm glad you came. I was getting a bit down." I said. He nodded at me.

He looked down at the snacks but they were all gone. I shook my head. "That was all I had big guy. Next time I'll get more, okay?" I asked him looking up at him.

He nodded curtly and then got up. I watched as he inclined his head in farewell and then disappeared.

I smiled.

* * *

We were in the locker rooms. I had run later than normal so it was full of other kids. Dean included. Facing away from everyone I tried to change as quickly as possible but seeing as our clothes included multiple layers it didn't go as quick as I wanted.

I had just removed my blouse and had grabbed my P.E shirt when I heard the person beside me let out a silent gasp. I tilted my head and saw Dean looking at me with wide eyes.

"Hey, Tony... You uh have a bruise on your back." Came Dean's hesitant voice. I immediately turned back around letting my back face against the wall when I remembered that wasn't going to help to see as my front had more bruises. I cursed myself and hastily put my shirt on. Dean was open-mouthed and looked worried.

I cut him off seeing as he was going to talk. "I got them while sparing." My tone was firm.

He hesitatingly nodded. I refrained from exhaling in relief. The fact I wasn't finished changing made me more anxious and seeing as some other boys were just messing around or talking I didn't want to garner any attention.

I bit my lip and fiddled with my shirt and tried to think about a solution. The lights flickered a bit which made me huff in irritation.

"Hey little sparrow!" came the much not wanted voice of Demian. Also who told you you can give me a nickname?!

I turned to him watching him with a glare.

"Aww, no need to be mad! I see you play quite rough don't you?" He said laughing while poring someone in the ribs while pointing to some of my bruises.

I rolled my eyes and counted to ten feeling all the attention on us now.

"Hey, he got them sparring!" Came Dean's voice. I felt glad knowing my friend tried to defend me while he hated getting negative attention on him like this.

"Oh? Tony spars?" Drawled Demian out in interest. Wait why does he sound skeptical. That little shit.

I let out a sigh. "Yes. I have been doing karate since I was 5 years old. So I spar sometimes, hence my bruises." I am so glad I can use that excuse- Why am I lying? What the hell? To protect the bastard? To give him more time to hurt me?

"-then why doesn't he show us some moves?" I snapped back to the conversation cursing my wandering thoughts. Demian looked smug and some other boys looked excited.

I rose an eyebrow and turned to Dean in question silently asking him what the hell was going on.

"They want you to show them..." he whispered to me. I nodded in understanding and stepped forward.

"Sure," I said uncaringly.

Demian's smile widened. "Really?"

I held a hand to my nape and cracked it hearing a satisfying pop. I smiled eyes assessing him. "Yeah."

He stepped forward his form relaxed. He looked quite happy.

We stared at each other waiting, noting each other's form, our chances, and what it was worth.

He shot forward, his left fist outright for my head his other hand guarding his cheek. A boxer's stance. I shifted my head to the left, stepped forward, grabbed his wrist with my right hand and my left hand shot upward while pulling him further with my other hand. And then I stopped and smiled at him. My left fist inches away from his chin.

"You need to guard your chin better." I drawled out eyes sharp on his movements. His form relaxed and he pulled back. I did the same.

"Ah, you're right!" He said laughing. The room was silent.

"Holy shit that was quick!" Came someone's voice. I blinked and noted the whole room was watching us with wide eyes. I coughed and shifted taking a step back and scratched my neck feeling awkward.

"HEY HURRY UP BOYS YOU HAVE 2 MINUTES!" Came our teacher's voice. Wich made everyone shoot up and quickly change. I included. No one was watching us anymore and I felt quite smug I managed to catch Demian by surprise. Yes, fear me because without your lackey's I can actually beat you.

* * *

Then the shit show happened.

Tony disappeared and no matter how many times I tried to contact him, be it message or calls he couldn't take any of them. I didn't accept the possibility he died no matter what the other said. He was alive.

Days passed in worry and near panic hoping that he gets out of it all okay.

Then when he finally emerged and took down those terrorists I was relieved and worried at the same time.

He did so much but at what cost? _(what did he lose?)_

* * *

Time passed. I was still stuck in the household of Lawson were the beatings got worse. Not like I felt anything because I was still worried about Tony.

I had not heard from him since the whole incident.

So I decided to take a trip of my own to the avengers' tower. Just in black jeans a hoodie and jacket. My wallet, phone, and ID in my pocket.

I had to pass through Hell's kitchen were Daredevil was getting known. I was obviously a fan of the man, had watched his tv series but still. Hell's Kitchen wasn't that great to walk around in even in the evening where there was enough light.

I really didn't like how some people were eyeing my limp.

So what Mr. Lawson gave a mean kick and yea I got a hell of a lot of bruises to prove it does not mean it's fun when people note the abuse I face and say nothing.

Saying it is harder. Stating they not even the place you live is safe because the man that should take care of you is an idiotic drunkard is 'rude' and a 'lie'. Because of course, Mr. Lawson got a good reputation. That man couldn't hurt a fly.

No, he couldn't hit a fly because those things are to fast for his pitiful punches. You only have to fear a beat down when he catches you, not when he trows the hit.

Unfortunately, there aren't many places to hide. Nathan is still scared of the man, he tried to help of course but that did nothing to stop the man. Miss Lawson only could beg so far before getting a hit herself.

Truly a safe family.

Anyway, going through Hell's kitchen is an experience and a half.

Definitely when you hear a scream to your right and have too much of a moral compass to not go and help.

Yes, I am an idiot.

So walking into an alleyway not armed at all investigating if someone is getting murdered isn't one of my brightest ideas. Yes, I had comen sense but that didn't mean I had a sense of danger.

Guess falling through a portal and landing into another world does that to you.

You get a little stupid. Who knew?

I instantly was met with a nauseating scene when I walked in.

Before me, stood a man in ratty clothes holding a woman who looked close to tears. She was forced against the wall and the man held a knife in one hand the other trying to undo her shirt.

I cleared my throat.

He jumped half turning to me still holding the knife against the woman. He snarled seeing me.

"What do you want kid?" He asked.

I rose my eyebrow.

"Let her go sir and I won't call the cops. Or don't and I will call the cops." I say deathly serious. My hand was over my phone proving that I would.

His face was furious.

"Do that and I'll stab her." He said. Eyes wild and pupils were blown. He was shaking. I took a confident step forward.

"Then maybe you should first learn how to properly hold a knife first sir, before threatening someone with it," I said. My hands shot out and I harshly grabbed his arm pulling him away from the terrified woman.

He stumbled and turned to me raising the knife. My hand shot up and I punched his wrist which made him release the knife.

It fell to the ground.

It didn't mean that the man was stopping though. We scrambled for a bit. Each movement making my bruises hurt more and more. I danced around the man hitting him and he had some lucky shots on me. Till he punched me in my throat which made me go down. I was heaving and gasping for breath. He advanced but before he could hit me again a hand shot out and stopped him.

In a flurry of movements, the new person took the man out. I messaged my troat silently watching the ensuing fight. Or beat down. In seconds it was over and the black-clad figure of Matt Murdock stood there, well I mean Daredevil but still.

I gingerly got up and looked at the spot the woman was standing before. She had long since runoff. Wich was smart.

The other man cleared his throat still facing away from me.

"Are you all right kid?" He asked in a gruff voice.

I snorted. "You should look at yourself first sir, from what I heard you get beaten down a lot. This was nothing new for me but I question if so many fights are good for you." I drily said. My voice was cracking and my throat dry. I cleared it in frustration hating the feeling.

I shrugged it away.

"Now it's not every day I get to see awesome vigilantes beating idiots who attack unsuspecting civilians like myself." I said the last part sarcastically. "But I really got to get going before it get's dark and someone will jump me. Places to be and all that jazz." I drily said.

I was fanboying on the inside, make no mistake, but that would be inappropriate.

Daredevil turned to me. "It wouldn't do to let a child walk around alone this time of the day." He said. I cocked my head at him. Then actually shrugged and turned around and went back out of the alleyway.

And I was followed.

Why hello busy and uncaring streets how I have not missed you.

I rolled my shoulders and headed to where I needed to go. And in every corner of my eye, I spotted the man in the shadows. When I finally got out of Hell's Kitchen I waved at the man and made my way through the busy streets on a quest to get to Tony.

When I arrived at the tower it was busy, I carefully made my way in and went to the reception. The woman behind it looked weirded out by my stance there.

"Hello Miss, could I know if Mr. Stark is back yet?" I politely asked her. She rose an eyebrow at me.

"The public will be made aware when Mr. Stark is ready to face the public again. You'll get to see that on the television like any other child." She said.

My shoulders slumped and I nodded. I turned back around but before I could take another step a voice yelled out my name.

"Tony!" Came a voice and I heard someone jogging towards me. I turned to see Tony standing there with a big smile on his face.

I smiled looking him over. "Well, looks like you're doing better Tony. You got me worried when you didn't contact me back at all." I huffed crossing my arms.

He let out a short laugh.

"Sorry, sorry, kiddo. I was busy beating bad guys." He said carelessly. My eyes flickered to the silent hall and I became aware of the eyes on us. I awkwardly shifted and cleared my throat.

This made Tony also aware of the fact.

"Ah! Pepper got worried about you since our last encounter. Have you healed nicely?" He asked distractingly and turned around to an elevator indicating I should follow.

I shuffled after him still limping and shrugged.

"As best as can be," I said dismissively. We entered the elevator and he pressed a button.

We went up.

"You sure you are doing better kid? I can see that mean limp." He said eyes flickering my way.

I avoided his gaze by staring straight ahead.

"Eh, things happen," I said avoiding the topic. I shifted from foot to foot feeling guilty for lying to him.

"And those things aren't a hit or a kick I hope?" He drily asked. I ducked my head. The elevator doors opened. We arrived on the floor. He took the first step out and I followed after him.

I shook my head. "No no no, I'm not here for me I'm here for you mister! You know how worried I got?" I said scowling.

He let out a laugh seeing my expression. I rolled my eyes at him.

"I thought I was the adult here?" He asked still chuckling.

He opened a door and we were in a living room. There were tell tales of people having been there before but I didn't see anyone other than us.

Tony sighed and flopped onto a couch.

"You know kid. I don't think either of us should lie about any of the things that happened to us. Because if we lie then there will be no one we will be able, to tell the truth to, will there?" He said, tone sounding heavier than I was used to.

I was stunned into silence not knowing how to answer.

"I... I'm sorry." I finally said feeling defeated.

He hummed.

I finally moved and sat down at the end of the couch he was lying at. I stared before me thinking back at the hellish last months. That was it. A couple of fucking months. Just some month and I fucked up for some reason. I fucked up.

"I fucked up." I finally said. "I don't know how, or what but I fucked up. I just- I don't know. Everything is wrong and it hurts. I just want to go home." I said folding into myself.

"I can't do this anymore. How do I do this? I'm just so tired. I just want to sleep. How do I get them to stop? How do I get them to stop hurting me? Can't they see I'm just trying to be normal? Why do I get the blame? Why do they insist on hating me? Why can't they leave me alone? I just want to be numb again." I was shaking I distantly realized. Crying even going by my blurred vision.

"I just can't take it anymore. I'm tired of it all. Every day is the same exhausting repetitive mind-numbing routine of dullness and pain. Even the pain is just so... So exhausting. How do I just make it all stop?" I fell silent hunched into myself trying to pull myself back again.

I was met with a suffocating silence. Till Tony got up and dragged me into a hug. He leaned onto me till I was sprawled onto the couch while he laid on me, my face in the crook of his neck. He smelled metallic. His arms tightly wound around me. I felt like I was allowed to hide there, away from the big and scary world out there.

"Shhhhh. It's alright kid. I'm getting you out of there Fury be damned. You don't deserve any of that. You deserve to be happy like you were before they put you there. Before this fuck up. God kid what happened?" His voice sounded mad but strangely enough, I just knew it wasn't at me.

I fell silent trying to search for the right words and not break down again "I... I can't-" I felt choked up. Trying to tell the horrible and stupid and chocking-

"Hey hey you don't have to tell me, anything kid. It's okay. I'll make sure it never happens again. Ever. You just sleep alright? Just sleep I'll take care of everything." He sounded so strong and I couldn't help but believe every word he said. I nodded and then closed my eyes.

I fell asleep.

* * *

My eyes fluttered open. Someone was touching my hair. I blearily looked up to see the familiar face of Pepper. She looked startled to see me awake and I was watching her with wide eyes.

" 'Ello?" I uncertainly said blinking away any sleepiness.

"Oh, I'm sorry I woke you up. Hello, Tony- er my Tony didn't want you to wake up alone so he asked me to stay here but your hair just looked really fluffy and one thing let to another-" She stopped and let out an awkward chuckle.

I slowly got up and turned to her.

"It's okay. Umm... Where is Tony?" I asked her uncertainly. My eyes flickered around the room but there was no brilliant mechanic in sight.

"Oh he was taking care of some... Things." She said. I blinked trying to process what the hell he could be doing.

Then my stomach rumbled in a wordless demand for food. My face flushed in embarrassment. "I'm sorry I haven't eaten in... A while." I said scratching my neck.

"Do you want anything to eat? I can make a mean omelet." She says happily. I nodded. "Okay stay here got it? I'll be right back." She said getting up. I nodded again and watched her leave the room.

I yawned and looked around the room.

It looked different. Everything felt different. I didn't know why but I felt heavier and lighter at the same time.

I looked at the windows and something was wrong with the picture. The streets were as busy as normal. Clouds lazily rolling by, traffic going and the sun was shining-

Why was the sun shining? Shit, how long have I been here?

I scrambled for my phone wanting to know what the time was-

10.30 A.M. SHIT I HAVE SCHOOL.

I shot up stumbling when pain shot from my leg electrifying me and making me fall. I was gasping but all I could feel was panic because fuck I never skipped school and shit what if Mr. Lawson hears about it?

I stumbled but tripped over my own feet falling again onto the floor. I was half crying in hysterics and everything was overwhelming me again. I scrambled upright again trying to not use my leg too much. I leaned on the couch and shakily made my way to the door.

Then Pepper appeared looking worried. "Tony, what's wrong?" She asked hesitantly coming forward.

"I have- I have to go to school- I never skipped before- I'll get in so much trouble- I have to go to school- I'll get punished if I don't-" I was distinctively aware I was hyperventilating but the feeling of panic overwhelmed me.

She rushed over to me making soothing sounds hushing me and delicately touching my shoulders. My attention immediately went to her and I focused on only her and nothing else.

The sleeves of her white blouse were rolled up. Her hair was in a lazy half bun and she wore slacks. She had dark smudges under her eyes and her forehead held wrinkles because she was frowning with worry. Her nails were perfectly manicured and her hands didn't have a lot of calluses. She wore a necklace.

"Tony? Come on Tony can you please focus on my voice? It's okay we already notified your school you weren't coming in. Ton- my Tony is even there at the moment! So no worries okay? It's all okay." She was talking in a strong voice that didn't hold fear. Maybe a twinge of panic but not overwhelmingly so.

I blinked rapidly and relaxed.

"Really?" I asked her.

She nodded. "Now, I promised you an omelet let's go to the kitchen where I can give it to you, hm?"

I jerkily nodded my head and followed after her. We entered and she sat me down on a barstool before the counter. She turned to the stove and went back to the omelet on it. It miraculously hadn't burned wich I think was the job of one amazing A.I. When she was done she turned to me with a plate and then gave me the omelet and a fork so I could eat it.

I blinked and offered her some but she declined, shaking her head with a soft smile on her face. So I grabbed my fork and dug in.

I was really hungry. God, what was the last time I ate something without feeling like I was going to throw it back up again? When the food didn't taste bland. I... I don't even remember.

I looked up again feeling drained. Like someone took every bit of energy out of me. My eyelids were heavy, my brain foggy and damn it go away emotions. I felt my eyes prickle with unshed tears and I wasn't going to cry over this was I?!

"Hey hey, what's wrong?" She asked worried and this only made me more choked up. Taking a shuddering breath in I put down my fork because I wouldn't be able to eat like this. I looked up and saw Pepper looking worried way more than anyone-

"I want-" _home-_ I cut myself off. Choking back the words and swallowing them back down shoving them deep, deep down. Repress. Clenching my hands I shifted again eyes flickering across the kitchen.

"What do you want Tony? Some water? Or something else?" She asked trying to get me to speak again and not panic or retreat further. Damn it focus Tony focus.

"I... When is Tony coming back?" I asked instead of trying not to hunch into myself.

"Do you want me to call him and ask him? You can even talk to him if you want?" She asked giving another sad smile. I nodded. She took out her phone and dialed the number. I watched her as she took her to her ear.

He picked up.

She smiled and started to talk.

"Hey, Tony wants to talk to you if that's okay?" She asked. After receiving the reply she extended the phone to me. Looks like the answer was yes.

I carefully grabbed the phone and held it to my ear.

A muffled sound and then a clear voice.

"Heya kid! What's my favorite spitfire doing?" He asked voice bright with an underlying tension.

"I- Uh. Miss Potts said you were at my school?" I said softly trying to not ask him how long he was there because you know...

"Mh? Oh yeah! In fact, I'm talking with some of your teachers. Your biology teacher cares about you, the man even almost started to scold me. I even saw some of your or what I guess are your friends! This kid called Dean Grey? Asked where you were and when you'd be back. Looked quite worried. Also isn't this mister Moran that teacher that gave you unjustified detention and yelled at you?" His voice gained an edge at the question.

"Ye- Wait is Dean doing okay? He's not looking pale or something is he? Tell him to take it easy and for precaution take his medication or take a breather and not worry about me too much-"

He laughed cutting me off.

"Damn it, kid! I'm here to help you." He bitterly said.

I slowly blinked and let out a small 'oh'.

"Anyway kiddo. Just. Relax? I'll be back. After this, I'm getting all your stuff from that house. I already informed the cops and all that legal jam. Just don't worry. Okay?"

I nodded and then remembered he couldn't see me and cleared my throat. "Y-yeah. Wait, some of my stuff is under the floorboards under my bed and the door is locked-"

"Don't worry about it. I'll get everything. Don't worry."

"Okay."

"Great now give Pepper her phone back so I can just tell her some important things and then I can get back to clearing all this stuff up. Okay?"

"Yeah."

I did as he asked and gave Pepper her phone. They started to talk again and I looked back down at my breakfast. I slowly tried to eat again because I still was hungry.

* * *

The rest of the day I slept mostly. Pepper had let me to a guest room she said I could sleep there as long as I wanted. I fell asleep as soon as my head hit my pillow. I was just so tired.

Sleep.

Cozy darkness.

* * *

"Hey junior?" Someone was softly shaking my shoulder while whispering. I blinked away the remains of my dream and looked up to see Tony. I smiled.

"Hey," I said taking a deep breath in and finally processing he's here. I shot forward and started to look him over noting his tired face that looked relaxed.

"Hey hey slow down firecracker! It's okay. I'm fine as you can see. Now I've heard you haven't eaten in a while so can I interest you in some dinner?" He smiled playfully.

I slowly nodded and got off the bed. He smiled down at me and bring up his hand, I shrank down from the appendage and cursed myself for that. Tony let his hand fall to his side and his smile looked strained. I ducked my head and raised my shoulders looking to my feet.

"Sorry." I murmured feeling embarrassed for my reaction.

He took a breath."It's fine kid. Not your fault. Now come on food's waiting!"

We walked to the kitchen. I didn't really know how to feel about everything. Everything was mixed up and weird and what if he sends me away?

I shook my head and resolved not to think about it. Just for today. Don't worry about it today.

We entered the kitchen there was food on the table and Pepper sat on one stool. We sat down. We all started to eat. I wasn't really hungry, felt sick actually but I knew I had to eat or else I wouldn't be able to do anything tomorrow.

I blinked and tried to stay awake there was a heaviness around me that kept pulling me under for some reason.

"Hey kid you okay?" I blinked at the voice noting how everything seemed blurrier. I slowly nodded but the action only made me dizzier. I couldn't find my balance wich made everything sway and then it went black.

* * *

I woke up shooting up in a white room. I blinked at the familiar space in question feeling weirded out.

"Tony?" came and whisper. I turned around and saw a familiar pair of green eyes.

"Loki?" I asked in disbelieve. "What the hell?"

He snorted. "You likely fell trough another portal again," he said like it was obvious wich yes it kinda was... Fuck.

"Oh," I said not knowing what else to say. I noted the room and had a strange sense of deja vu. My brows furrowed.

"How is your magic coming along Tony?" Loki asked. My head snapped to him with wide eyes.

"What? Magic?" I asked, not really understanding.

"Don't tell me you forgot your last visit here?" He rose an eyebrow and folded his arms before himself.

I blinked and remembered the 'dream' I had. At least I had dismissed it as a dream which it seems it wasn't. It's not my fault my brain sometimes comes up with realistic enough dreams all the time.

"That was real?" I made a face.

"Yes. I can't forget you screaming injustice at my dear brother even if I wanted to, which I assure you is not the case." He drawled out.

I snorted at him and nodded. I then looked down at my appearance. Still wore the same clothes as earlier but they were ruffled up and you could see some of my bruises. Wich made me immediately try to straighten my clothes to cover them back up.

I shifted and then froze when Loki let out a pointed cough. I looked back up and winced.

"It's nothing," I said trying to sound believable.

"Are you actually trying to lie to the god of lies?" He asked in amusement. His lips twitched and his eyes held a spark.

I let out a breath in defeat and slumped my shoulders.

"It's fine- okay okay!" I shifted again seeing his raised eyebrow and abandoned the new lie on my tongue. "Okay... It's just- I got... Beaten..." I shied away from his gaze and started to fidget in place.

"Beaten." his voice was flat and the amusement from earlier had disappeared.

I swallowed and nodded. "Y-yeah. My uh foster father- he uh believed in tough love I guess?" I uncertainly trailed off and half shrugged and winced when the action caused more pain. I shook my head and looked him over. He wasn't looking that great. Dishelved hair and no careful clothes. No illusion either.

"You holding up okay?" I asked him instead.

He rolled his eyes at me. "As great as someone can be in imprisonment." He said sarcastically. I snorted.

"Yeah thought so," I muttered. I looked back at the room, it was still as pearly white wich made me uncomfortable how clean it was. I looked at the golden field that was the only way to escape through it but also the only form of defense.

I didn't really know what to do. Especially since I didn't want to talk about the elephant in the room. Then I noticed the books and smiled making my way to them. I looked at Loki for permission to read them and he gave a nod so I took one and opened it.

My smile fell as I met the unfamiliar language the books were in.

"Aw come on! I know at least 3 languages and some of four others yet none of that matters with these books." I was not pouting.

Loki was laughing at me making me shoot him a glare which only made him laugh more.

"Yeah, yeah, laugh it up," I grumbled.

We heard a sound from the hallway which was followed by footsteps. Loki straightened and he made an illusion appear around him, making him look like he looked like in New York. Except he had green eyes. He looked calculating, calm, and clean. I shifted my attention to the barrier as I dropped the book back in place.

An old man with an eye patch appeared and by the tense form of Loki, it most certainly was douche dad. I mean yeah Odin is a powerful man but damn he made to many mistakes and all of them bite back the people around him. I tensed up as he swept the room with his eyes and stopped at me. I felt a chill go down my spine and straightened walking away from the bookshelf and nearer to Loki. He noticed then going following me with his eyes.

I pored Loki in the ribs. "Is this the not father of you?" I asked stage whispering. Loki relaxed a bit but was still tense.

"Yes." He said curtly, forcefully.

"I take it he doesn't visit a lot?" my eyes flickered from both the people.

"No, not a lot," Loki answered still watching his adopted father with distrustful eyes.

I nodded. "Is he also the man I can yell at for keeping you here or do I need to yell at more?" I asked carefully.

Loki chocked and coughed sounding strangled and like he was holding back a laugh. "Wh-what?"

I sagely nodded. "This one it is." Folding my arms over my chest I took a step forward shielding Loki from Odin's gaze.

Odin rose an eyebrow as I finally paid attention to him.

Before I can speak he starts cutting me off like an asshole. Wich, he totally is.

"Who are you and what business do you have on Asgard?" He asks eyes narrowed like a fucking child can threaten his peaceful and dear Asgard. Bleh.

I cross my arms reminded of another asshole I had to deal with daily. My bruises were tingling.

"My name is Tony Sparrow from Midgard, an acquaintance of both prince Thor and prince Loki," I say trying to be at least polite. Because even though I don't like him, he's also Thor's father and Thor for some reason adores him. I think Loki did that too once. Before everything went to shit. Like always. Damn dramatic backstory! They make everything to complicated in real life.

"What are you doing here child?" He scowls. Wich wow. You disregard my name like that and even make an astute observation that I am, in fact, an actual child! Wow.

I smile trying to stop myself from jumping through the barrier and strangle him. That would be bad. And you know I don't think I can jump through that barrier. So there's that.

"Well you see sir, I fell through a blue portal. Wich sometimes happens to me. Though most of the time it doesn't bring me to another planet just random locations." I happily answer. Then I tilted my head. "Also I love how you guys decorate this place. Everything's so... White."

I heard Loki snort which made me happier.

Odin looked like he didn't quite know what to do with me. I wonder if we reached the stage of a relationship where I can yell at him for imprisoning an innocent son and being a douche bag that needs to stop being a douche back... Hmmm.

There was a tense silence and I got bored of it pretty quickly so I decided fuck it, I'm going to do it anyway.

"So sir, if I may ask. Did you decide to put your innocent adopted son behind bars?" I asked tilting my head. His face went slack and I heard the sharp intake of breath from Loki. I hate similarities. Hate how it's familiar.

Hold, steady, and strong.

My gaze burned and I was demanding an answer.

He didn't answer. Didn't meet my gaze. I sharply inhaled understanding.

"I see." I took a step forward.

"Do you have proof that Loki is guilty? Contradicting the months we put in to prove we were right. Did you look past his skin? Looked into his eyes? Did you consider it or has your judgment been clouded over by your fantasies?" I was harsh, questions burning and spat with venom but I won't take them back. Never. I needed to know. To justify.

But he didn't answer.

Silence, silence, and silence. Calm needs to be calm.

I took another step forward. The barrier a step away from me. My glare burned down at the man. But he didn't deign to look at me. He didn't look at anyone.

"You know, I know quite a lot about Norse mythology sir." My gaze burned, his from tensed. "I know quite a lot of stories. Some less correct than others. But I do know one thing. One thing no one talked about, so I assume. Sir. That you would rather not talk about this. About another mistake." His gaze snapped to me, his face pale.

Mine was cold. My rage was cold and calculating.

"I see you know whom I'm talking about. I see that you would rather not that it will be known. Another mark under your name. Well, sir let me warn you. Improsinating Loki? That will be a more fatal mistake. You can think it's for the best. Satisfy the crowd a bit, show you are in control, show you are strong yet merciful by not killing him. Pretending this is right, that this is justice while it only works for you to hold control and make him into the person you think you see. You think he's meant to be. After all, both of your sons grew up to be kings. You think he'll turn his back on you, or unite two kingdoms. You think that will be an act of kindness." My voice was harsh as I looked scornfully at him.

"Well sir, you only make unnecessary enemies by making excuses. And unless you want to make another one, I advise you to stop this stupid game you play and grow the hell up."

His face filled with anger the temperature getting hotter around us. He took a step forward but I stood in my place.

"How dare you talk to me like that? The king of Asgard?" I wanted to laugh at his pride. It was so damn stupid.

I did laugh. It felt hollow, even to my ears. My hands clenched at my sides.

"You think just because you are a king that gives you the right to punish someone innocent?! Oh gods do I have news for you." I snarled my eyes livid. The lights started to flicker and I tried to stifle the ice-cold rage thrumming through my veins but I couldn't. Can't because he's right before me but I can't hurt him like he hurt Loki.

"You have magic." His tone was filled with tension. I tilted my head. His impression on me had changed going by his tone. More careful. Calculating.

He's trying to see if I'm a threat.

"Yes. I think it's because of the tesseract, or as what you know the infinity stone, space. Interesting how it drags me around and dumps me in places it needs me to be, right? How it needed me to be here. Telling, I think." My voice was idle. The theory I had made flowing easy, like a truth.

He looked taken aback. Every time something is revealed he reevaluates me thinks of another way to wreck me down. My value and what he could gain. It made me feel sick. Made me feel dizzy because I knew that look. Made me nauseous and stop making this look like that.

I took a shuddering breath. "I see how this is." I turned back around feeling like I was going to kill the man behind me. My gaze met Loki's. I felt hollow and haunted.

"Can I hurt him, like he hurt you?" I ask him. My gaze burning.

He swallowed and he looked conflicted. "Okay, I'll wait," I said understanding. I took a deep breath and exhaled shaking everything off. Shoving it away. I deflated. "Okay." I hummed taking a step to Loki and looking him over. Trough the illusion, at the conflicted eyes the furrows on his forehead. The slight tremble in his hands and the tension in his posture.

I inclined my head. "It's okay." I murmured. "Or it's not, we'll just make it okay." I shrugged carelessly which made Loki snort again. He looked like he was stifling a laugh and trying to stop himself from falling apart.

I grinned at him, a smile full of teeth.

I heard a pointed cough behind us but steadily tried to ignore it. Loki wasn't as successful, he immediately tensed up again and his face went blank. It hurt to see. Hurt how that reminded me of thinks better of forgotten.

"I thought my blatant dismissal was enough of a hint to leave us the hell alone," I said through clenched teeth.

"I can't do that. You will have to follow me to the throne room for an easier conversation. And so I can inform Thor of your arrival." His voice rang. I tensed feeling sick.

"I think I'd rather stay here than follow you, sir." I idly said trying to ignore how the temperature rose.

Loki put a hand on my shoulder his eyes flickering past me and then back onto me. He leaned forward. "It's okay. Don't main or kill anyone yet." I snorted relaxing, trying to ground myself.

I nodded stepping away and turning back to the man. My expression going blank. Like a familiar mask.

I stepped back to the barrier and nodded. Odin did something and there appeared an opening before me. I stepped through it and it closed back after me. I turned back to Loki and nodded. He did the same.

I followed after the king keeping a distance and ignoring him while following.

We exit the dungeon and entered golden halls. More guards arrived surrounding us. I ignored them looking at everything else and ignoring the person before me.

We walked for a while and I swear we looped some places, but finally arrived at some big double doors. We entered and he walked on to his throne and sat down. I debated being a brat and turning back around or to keep ignoring him or to sit down on the ground.

I went with the last option and plopped down on the ground looking at him with a raised eyebrow with a what can you do expression.

His expression was carefully blank. He nodded to a guard and they disappeared, properly trying to get Thor from somewhere. Odin was tense.

I tried to look as relaxed as possible to cover my anxiousness up, my nerves were frying and I just wanted to disappear, but nope that wasn't going to happen. Everything was supposed to be okay, it was supposed to be over.

"You are a difficult child." He said idly looking at me.

I shrugged. "That wouldn't be the first time someone told me that."

"Why do you insist to hold onto these lies?" He asked me trying to sound nice, believable. I felt something brushing my mind, something sickly, and I felt cold. I stiffened.

"If you don't fucking stop trying to use your magic on my mind, I will kill you," I said wide-eyed and trembling hands.

He stilled surprised. I shifted leaning forward.

"I, will not tolerate this, Odin," I said spitting his name out like it was trash. I heard some guards bristle but I ignored them. Odin's face did a twitch.

"You are brave for someone mortal." He idly said like I was a bug ready to be squashed.

I grinned, a smile full of teeth, a silent threat. A promise

"If there is something I learned about immortals sir, is that by the time they can't keep up as much as they used to, their visions of right and wrong gets twisted and what they once tried to protect isn't as important as the idea they protect." My voice had a hint of melancholy.

"But I also learned that that god's bleed, and when they can bleed they can die just like any mortal." My voice was flat, a warning, and an observation. "I think you are familiar with death, aren't you sir?" I looked up at him. He looked pale his expression that of silent rage.

The doors banged open and in walked Thor. I relaxed getting up and smiling at the blond.

"Tony!" He happily greeted.

"Thor." I returned. He clasped a hand on my shoulder which made me wince. His eyes followed the movement. His gaze flickering to Odin. I shook my hand and took a step back.

"I see your hair is as long as ever," I said with humor. He laughed.

"It is also nice to see you as well, little viper." He grins down at me.

I bashfully smile at the name. "Aw thank you point break!"

He let out another guffaw.

"I see you took over some habits from son of stark." He observed. I shrugged.

"Well, he is my role model!" I say smiling.

Thor turned to his father after another fond look and his expression turned conflicted. "Father." He said. I noted the shift in attitude with a raised eyebrow. I didn't really want to listen to the conversation, looking around the place I noted how everything was so gold. It made me grimace. I shook that away and looked at the guards, they were tense and looked like they didn't want to be there. Same.

"HE IS INNOCENT!" I jumped at the yell from Thor snapping me back to their conversation. Thor looked mad and I heard some cackles from his lightning. Odin had an equal furious expression.

I groaned successfully getting attention on me.

"Holy hell, you guys are both pretty, now stop being dramatic and focus on how we can get out Loki before I seriously consider maiming or killing someone." I scowled at both of them. Thor relaxed. Odin was still tense which made me roll my eyes.

"Don't tempt me." I continued. I felt tired but didn't want it to show. My eyes flickered to the ceiling wondering and considering saying who I think it was, that manipulated the situation and then I realized what this was about. I tensed up and looked with disbelieving eyes at the man.

"Holy shit. I can't believe you." I said in disbelieve.

"Tony?" Came Thor's hesitant voice.

"I can't fucking believe you asshole." My voice went lower.

"Tony?" Came Thor's alarmed voice. He took a step towards me I evaded him and Odin looked like he understood what conclusion I just came with.

"I can't believe you deny this shit because you don't want to believe something bigger is coming to threaten the peace. I can't believe you deny that your son is innocent because you are too cowardly to admit someone else can be behind this without you knowing it!" My voice thundered across the hall. I was shaking, the rage returning.

"How can you be so fucking dense? How can you be so- so- ignorant?! You want us all to be so utterly unprepared for another war just because you are scared? What, peacetime making you soft? Making the power go to your head?-"

 _"ENOUGH!"_ Odin cut me off and with a sweep of his hand I was sent flying back. I crashed into the wall, pain shooting trough me and fell to the ground seeing stars and feeling pain over me. Magic was around me trying to stifle me, trying to tell me to shut up if I didn't want to die-

"Enough of this nonsense. Boy, you better remember I am king and I will not tolerate you speaking to me like that!" His voice echoed but I couldn't speak, I was drowning again, everything too much. My head dizzy and voices enveloped over each other, twisting it all up and I couldn't understand it anymore. My head ringing, my back on fire, I couldn't move and the magic in my lungs taking away my air. I couldn't breathe.

I couldn't, couldn't- I was gasping, gagging, coughing, and clawing at my throat shaking all over but every movement only brought me more pain. And no there were hands over me _nononono don't touch me leave me alone-_

I screamed and everything shook. Everything exploded and the magic in my lungs devouring my air was gone. A familiar warmth was surrounding me, the pain muted. I was gasping for breath still shaking but I wasn't choking anymore. Wasn't getting killed.

Taking deep breathes I slowly sat up trying not to fall. Thor was beside me, looking concerned. His hands away sparkling with electricity. My eyes fluttered feeling heavy.

I laughed, it rang hollow. There was a small crater around me. I was still shaking and I couldn't stop.

"I hate you," I said eyes on Odin. "I really really hope you die the most painful death there is in existence and not the peaceful one that you didn't deserve like the other time, you don't want to know what's coming. Death and destruction and you only deny it all. Deny a happy ending. Deny it because you are scared like a little child." My expression twisted in a snarl. I was on my feet but didn't remember getting up. Just Odin before me **stupid little scared Odin.**

"Thanos is coming, you know? Your son knows it, but he gave up. Gave it all up because he cared about you far deeper and you just had to betray him. Had to lie like with Hela. You broke them. Both of them. Two little kids. And since Loki reminds you of her you hate him too. Like you hate her and cast her aside. **Your petty hate ruins the future, you know? Half the universe you see. Gone with a snap of a finger and so many dead."**

I stood stock still glazed eye at the agony hate and pain. Hunching into myself.

" _It_ showed me the result," I whispered terrified. "Showed me the endgame. The pain and the agony and the hate and the emptiness. Life's gone in a flash, no balance and it didn't even take the bad ones. Good ones disappeared, children so young begging and crying terrified out of their damn minds because they don't understand what's happening just dust everywhere ashes of people in the air-" I cut myself of chocking on my words my gaze snapped back to Odin.

 **"You could have prevented the fall of Asgard. Could have prevented the damage of Ragnarok if you just had told them to prepare. Had made them ready for Hela."** My voice was accusing. I couldn't stop talking like it wasn't me talking but _someone else_. _Someone_ demanding an answer. Demanding justice.

"Had believed Loki. Had you believed him, god he wouldn't have died strangled by Thanos himself because he wanted Thor to survive! **Because in the end if he had to choose he would rather die for Thor than save the world because Thor was the only one who hung onto him after Freya died.** " I couldn't stop, can't, panic in every corner of my mind he pushed me too far and he got a _monster_ calling for blood.

" **You are a selfish old man. A coward denying change because you are scared. And you dare- dare blame others for the messes you cause? Hela never had to be locked up you know? She wanted your approval but it's too late for that. You just had to understand her, show her the better way, make her stop, she thought she was only a weapon for death. But you didn't.** You kept doing what was wrong and wrong and half the universe died sooner than they needed and _they_ demand blood-" I cut myself off gasping for breath. Heaving. Half those words weren't mine they weren't oh god what's happening to me?

Silence rang over the room. I felt terrified everything was wrong magic in my head but it was something else than the warmth something dangerous and ancient and-

"Tony?" Came Thor's hesitant voice. I kept shaking feeling like I was going to cry curled in on myself, feeling like I was going to collapse.

"You almost killed me." I blankly said. "You- you actually almost killed me. You made _them_ mad oh god who are _they_? It's cold and warm and I couldn't breathe and _they_ were so so mad. What did you do? _They're_ so so old and furious _they_ wanted your blood. Were calling for it and why did you do that-" I was gasping for breath again. _Something_ was in my head-

"Tony, Tony come on!" Thor was beside me again his hands on my shoulders, I flinched away from him in panic, wide-eyed I was terrified.

"It's over, you are safe- how did the man of Iron do this?- You are safe Tony it is fine." He was trying to keep my attention. _I wanted home_. I wanted safe and blankets and safe and not fucking _ancient beings invading my mind and using me._

I tried to ground myself but every attempt crumbled I couldn't breathe.

"Make it stop their screaming and make them stop- I can't make it go silent make it go silent I'm sorry, sorry I won't do it again please stop stop stop it stop- _please_ " I only felt panic in my veins going through my body and circling my heart and _make it stop-_

Thor lighted up and I stopped. Looking as lightning danced across his skin crackling with life and thrumming with magic. I stopped panicking mesmerized with the sight. Light and gone and fast and warm and safe-

I breathed a rattling and wet sound, but I was back. And then the pain hit me. Making my breath hitch and hunch into myself collapsing to the floor and whimpering in pain. The numbness is gone and only pain remaining. Trying to block it out, make it go numb, but everything only hurts more. My bruises and my back and my head is ringing again.

I Breathed trough it, slowly calmly making sure I am alive, pain means I survived, means I am here and nothing else in my head, just me mem _ememe-_

In.

And out.

I blinked and coughed. "That hurts like a son of a bitch." I rasped out wide-eyed. I looked up to Thor and his expression was that of silent rage. But his eyes kind trying to help. I shakily smiled.

"That was nothin'. You should see the beatings I get! Oh, wait I wasn't supposed to say that. That's bad. Bad me. Stupid. Hey, I think I liked it better when Loki tried to kill me, his were more fun and less pain. Just threats and shoving me off a plane. I think I have a concussion so means I'm not supposed to sleep or else death or somethin'. I don't want to die I think. Haven't prevented enough. That was scary. Can I finally go home now? Back home and not to the Lawson's? Mr. Lawson is mean. And has a mean right hook. But only when he catches you, he's slow so evade and run but if he catches you he leaves bruises everywhere. I think he doesn't like me." I was babbling and just talking not really aware of what I was saying. Just trying to distract me from the pain.

I was hoisted up by Thor and let out of the room. The doors falling shut behind us with a bang. We walked through some hallways, no soldiers following us.

"And then there's also Hound. Wait his name was Demian. He's not entirely sane, I think. Likes to do bad touches. But sucks to be him I punched him when he tried. Though the first time he made his lackey's hold me down. Lucky that soldier with the metal arm came and they ran. I think metal arm is scared though. But not of me, he likes chocolate just like me. I think he's lonely. Hey, do you know where Tony is? He promised to help me get away and keep me safe. I was eating diner and then everything went black. I like Tony, he's safe. He feels safe."

We entered another hall. Looked like something medical. I don't know. Some woman entered their magic thrumming gently. Thor let me to them wanted me to get healed. He was talking with some people and holding me up. I was dazed. He sat me down on a bed.

"I like other people too. Like Dean, he's nice. My first friend here, then there's Kai, Aiden, Alex, and Jake, they're nice too. There's also metal arm, but I don't see him a lot. I like Loki too, he's nice, reminds me of myself though. That's sad. I remember wanting to die, that was a bad time. He's lucky to have Thor with him. Thor loves him and he's going to make sure he stays alive. I haven't talked much with Steve, Clint, and Natasha. I did see Fury, but I hate him. He put me with the Lawson's and Mr. Lawson is mean and hits hard and get's mad a lot. I don't like him.

Nathan is nice. Tries to protect me but's he's scared of his dad. Doesn't understand that sometimes people hurt others just because. I do. I was hurt a lot, but that's fine. Rather me than someone else. Just me, so that no one else gets hurt. Oh, that's pretty. And warm. Your magic is nice." I leaned to the healer who was holding out a hand. Magic was thrumming in the air and gently washing over me.

I relaxed closing my eyes. The pain in my back that I was trying to distract myself from slowly started to ebb away. My bruises were touched but the only focus was my back. The rest was just numbed. It was warm and nice.

My eyes fluttered open when my back was healed. My head was still dizzy the magic slowly going to my head trying to heal the damage done to it. I slowly blinked when everything became clearer again.

I yawned tired and the magic retracted to the healer. I wanted to whine but kept my mouth shut. Blinking away the dizziness I looked up to Thor. He was strangely silent. I turned to the healer and smiled.

"Thank you, ma'am." I politely said.

I slowly got up to my feet my mind a mess. "Thor?" I hesitatingly asked.

"Yeah?" He asked looking down at me.

"Did... Did your father just try to ki- kill me?" I asked him. He slowly nodded expression mourning. I took a shaky step forward. And then another.

"I- I wanna go to Loki now," I said hunching into myself. He slowly and carefully settled a hand on my shoulder and steered us out of the med bay. We walked down some corridors in silence and entered Loki's room again. Loki was sitting on the ground with his back to the opposite wall. His illusion was gone, his disheveled appearance was there.

I took a step forward and Thor let me. I walked through the barrier without it hurting me and entered Loki's chambers. His eyes opened and looked at me. I took a hesitant step forward and then another and I walked to Loki. His expression became alarmed as I sat down beside him and went boneless leaning onto his shoulder curling into myself.

"Tony?" He asked hesitating voice filled with something.

I stifled a sob. "He almost killed me," I said feeling vulnerable. "I couldn't breathe and magic was in my lungs. He threw me across the room and everything was filled with pain and I couldn't breathe- and then _they_ got mad. Said all these horrible things about how this all could have been prevented, how the future could have been prevented if _he had been better_. _It_ was in my mind and _it_ was old and furious and _it_ talked using my mouth and _it_ was scary and _they_ were screaming in my head and _they_ wouldn't go away."

Loki shifted and put an arm around me pulling me closer and I curled up more leaning in more trying to hideaway.

"Why did this happen? I just want everyone to be happy and then _it_ talks about something wiping out half of the universe. Killing and I heard the screams and begging of millions of souls and _it_ was so mad." tears were rolling down my face, my eyes on something further away. Something that was horrible and scary and _why me?_

"Shhh, we'll make it okay. Remember? We'll fix it. Make it better. Promise." Loki said trying to help but I felt lost and under a tide drowning in everything.

"I don't want you to die like that. Don't want you to choke- choking is horrible I hate it you can't die like that- you can't, I'll burn them to the ground. You can't die like that." I was panicking again I know I was but everything just kept coming in and out and swirling and drowning.

"I won't- Gods I won't Tony it's okay, we'll be okay. Nothing will go wrong, no one will die." His hand was on my back making soothing circles. Trying to calm me. I tried to let the motion calm me down.

It worked. I tired and finally everything went black.

* * *

I awake to white. No nightmares. But the white familiar room of Loki. I wasn't on the floor but the bed. Loki was sitting on a chair reading a book.

I slowly got up wincing when pain shot through me. Damn bruises still weren't healed. I let out a breath and sat up feet over the side sitting there.

I felt lost for some reason. Just sitting there a moment of peace and yet I knew what was going to happen. It was close so close it was going to happen soon. I shot up from my place stumbling onto my feet.

"I gotta warn them, have to warn them, it's going to happen danger danger have to help-" Loki shot up from his seat immediately coming closer and putting his hands on my shoulders to try and calm me down. I clung to him trying to make him know it's coming their coming I can't let Freya die-

"What's wrong Tony? What's going on?" Loki sounded concerned.

"Their coming! Jane Jane Janey Jane got infected with the Aether which is also the reality stone dangerous, it's going to wake up the dark elves and they are going to flood the castle and kill kill kill kill- oh no Freya we have to help her she can't do it alone stupid stupid why did you do it alone! Odin Odin where's Odin why isn't he doing anything I can't find him what's he doing he's supposed to help?!" I was panicking again. Trembling and shaking again but I had to tell, had to fix, had to save.

Loki understood my stammering, understood what I was saying, and yelled for the guards, for Thor even for Odin and he screamed for Freya sounding like a wounded animal sounding scared. But The guards didn't come, Odin didn't come, Freya didn't hear because she wasn't allowed to come near but sweet smart big Thor heard and he came, he listened and he understood. Jane was already here. Odin wasn't aware yet and we had to get out of the cage or-

"Thor let Loki out please let Loki out he'll protect Freya has to protect her he'll break again- Thor please let him out too many die make everyone you can see aware-" My words were fast and panicked and I looked with pleading eyes. Thor looked conflicted nodded and then opened the cage. Loki didn't run.

He helped me up and half-carried me to Thor. Saying they need to got to the healers to help me too and calm me down and make sure Odin won't do something stupid again.

I couldn't focus, was half-dragged away, which wasn't really a problem for both the princes because both of them were taller and stronger. I felt dazed and not entirely there, the things I saw in the movies looked more real in the visions. In my memory. It was real. Not something I watched on tv but real like I was there, felt the things happening and all the anguish. What the hell did that thing do to me?

We arrived at the medical wing. And sure as hell Jane was there and the magic in her veins reeked of something ancient and powerful, like _the presence_ actually.

I shook my head disbanding those thoughts. We moved closer to her she looked sick. I could walk and shoved Thor to her and leaned more on Loki my eyes scanning over her form. The Aether really does behave like a parasite. The reality stone. Wasn't it deadly when in contact with normal hands or something? I thought it was? Maybe it's because it can bend reality and thus decided fuck the rules?

I am confused?

I leaned forward focusing on the magic that thrummed in her veins, the path the stone took. It was pretty yet deadly.

Odin stormed into the room and went pale the moment he saw Loki and me. I ignored him still looking at Jane.

"It's the reality stone. The Aether is the reality stone and since it awoke the dark elves are going to come and storm Asgard. You don't have much time, make sure you are ready." I cut him off seeing as he was going to be useless anyway. My eyes flickered to him and then back to her. "I know you know how to fix this too so don't deny it as you do to other things. _King_." my tone was flat and I ignored the looks I was getting from the people around me.

Though Loki looked quite satisfied with the whole thing.

Odin made a strangled sound and then left. Not giving a tip on how to fix this. I clicked my tongue in irritation and closed my eyes trying to think about how this was supposed to be fixed. I make a noise of understanding as I remembered what happened and smiled.

"I see trickery and mischief is going to help us a lot here Loki." I smugly said wich made Loki smile back at me. I straightened and walked to Jane looking her over and nodded at her.

"We're going to fix you," I said with utter conviction. I nodded to Thor who immediately helped her up. "First of all make yourself ready to go to the portal. Loki you should know which one it is. Make sure we can make the trip." I received nods. I then slowly started to smile. "But before that, I would like to visit queen Freya first."

Loki rose an eyebrow his eyes getting a hint of worry, he's probably thinking about my death warning. Thor laughed at us and told us to meet him when they were done, he was going to make sure we had something we could leave with. We both nodded and Loki took me to his mom.

Freya was far more beautiful than anyone can ever give her credit for. The moment she saw us, more like Loki, she lit up like the fucking sun. Loki eased out, his tension drained out and he looked relaxed. I looked away when the two embraced each other, giving them space and because my heart ached at the scene.

When they were done Loki turned to me and Freya followed. I watched them as Loki slightly leaned against her and how Freya's attention was divided between the two of us and how her hand stayed on his shoulder.

"Mother, this is Tony Sparrow." He said inclining his head to me. I smiled and bowed. "It's an honor to meet Loki's mother," I said.

I heard a chuckle and footsteps. Delicate hands on my shoulders pushed me up till I was standing straight again. I was met with two sparkling blue eyes that held kindness. I felt a pang of emotions but shoved them deep down. Like I always do. I smiled back.

"Loki told me quite a lot about the brave boy who helped him." She said her eyes flickering over my face. My face heated up.

"Brave?" I asked wide-eyed.

"Well, what else would you be?" She asked. My eyes flickered down to my shoes. The answers to that question flickering trough my head. _Coward, lonely, idiot, afraid, childish, scared, small, child, strange, unnatural, traitor, liar, weird-_

I shook my head disbanding those thoughts. "A lot of other things." I simply answered.

One hand went under my chin and I was looking up again she looked worried and I just felt like I didn't deserve that.

"And I can see non of them will describe you as they should." She sternly said. Oh god, what do you do with parents that actually want to care for you? Shit, I need a distraction. Wait oh yeah I'm an actual idiot.

"I uh, we are here to help you," I said trying to not shrink into myself. She tilted her head in question.

"There's going to be an attack, I already warned the king and he's preparing for it but not a lot of people went this way and I wanted to make sure you were safe too." my eyes flickered to Loki who was watching the interaction and I shot him a 'help me' look which only made him smile in amusement. He looked at me like I had dug my own grave and now should lie in it. Traitor.-

"I see." She simply said and I really wanted to disappear. And right on fucking time the screams began. I deflated in relief when she let go of me.

The two Asgardians immediately looked battle-ready. I just relaxed watching the door.

It burst open and the pale and metal-clad elf walked in.

Frigga glared him down. "Stand down, creature. You may still survive this."

The what I assume is a man snorted and drawled out: "I have survived worse, woman."

Frigga rose an eyebrow Loki shifted. "Who are you?" She asked.

"I am Malekith, and I would have what it is mine. " He says as he walks closer to Frigga she strikes him in the face with her sword, he takes out his blade and starts fighting with Frigga. Loki tries to help and I began to feel a bit useless seeing as I wasn't doing a lot at the moment. I turned as the other man walked in, this one in full battle gear. Loki and Frigga hadn't noticed him and that would only mean I had to do something about it.

Well fuck.

I stand between the fight and the advancing man glaring him down. My pitiful height making the man look like a fucking giant. The elf came to a stop before me glaring me down but I defiantly looked back daring him to go further. I can count thousands of ways this can go wrong. I hear the fighting coming to a halt behind me. Not wanting to risk looking back and give the giant of an elf an opening I trust that they won't make anyone stab me in the back.

On that note, it would have been brilliant if I had nabbed a knife before storming to Frigga's room and be useless. God my idiocy knows no bound.

The silence dragged out and since I hadn't been stabbed nor attacked yet I assumed that they came to a halt and were glaring each other down. Because if they weren't and they had subdued Malekith than the giant before me, wouldn't be staring me down.

I grinned. "Nice armor. But I think I like Loki's more. Hey, how did you become so tall?" I tried to joke around try to ease myself up. "Speaking about Loki, you good back there?" I asked tilting my head to the right as a question. The giant before me shifted which made me tense up preparing for an attack to dodge the hell out of the way from.

I heard metal shifting. "Yes, we are fine Tony, but how did you get an enemy before you while we weren't looking?" He drawled out. Voice filled with tension and an edge. I see. I nodded keeping the grin on my face.

"Well as you said, you weren't looking and it wouldn't do to let them jump you two now would it?" I rose an eyebrow in amusement, the elf shifted again I clenched my hands, eyes narrowing.

I jolted when I heard something whisper in my head. "No, I will not nail the elf in the balls!" I answered the voice, the giant shifted back. "Wait what the hell?" I asked tilting my head in mayor confusion. "Oh no the voice is back again, Odin isn't even close to where we are!" I grumbled. I heard a snort behind me and another shift in the giant before me. I loosened my hands and laid them next to me.

I felt a knife appear in my right hand and tightly grasped it.

The giant sprang forward hands reaching and I shifted ducking away and rolling over the ground. The thing landed on my spot and the sound of fighting resumed. It turned towards me and I was getting back on my feet. Again the elf sprang forward but now it pulled out his sword.

I grasped my knife in my hand and came forward. The sword missing me and passing me. I let it pass, but before it could swing it at me I sprang forward knife thrusting with and lodging between two chest plates, nailing into the elf's chest. The elfs free hand tightly wound around me left arm and pulled me down to my knees. It's sword rising up and up and up. It halted high as the elf looked down at me.

I swallowed back a scream of fear and met his gaze. I couldn't get out of its grip that was obvious so I smiled.

"May I say some last words?" I asked tilting my head. It's ugly head inclined. I grinned, a smile full of sharp teeth.

"You should guard your chin better," I said and the moment I finished my sentence Thor's hammer crashed into its face. It let go of me and stumbled back trying to get to its footing. It didn't have the time as Thor came barreling after his hammer face mad. Lighting crackled after him dancing in the air. I stumbled back watching the fight my hands were shaking.

Odin appeared just after Thor joining them and the family fought. But before they could subdue the enemy Malekith fleed, only the other elf remained and he was cut down after. The ship flew and disappeared and we were left in the room. Jane appeared after looking worried. But no one died and I grinned.

"Freya didn't die," I whispered eyes bright. I turned to Loki smiling. He looked winded but no obvious injuries as I carefully looked him over, then my gaze flicked to Freya who like her son, looked winded but didn't seem to have any discomfort. I relaxed.

It worked! It worked it worked _it worked it worked it worked-_

"Are you alright?" Thor asked stepping to me looking me over. I snapped out of my daze and looked at him grinning.

"Why wouldn't I be?"I asked feeling a bit confused.

He looked taken aback. "You almost died!" Thor shouted eyes looking worried.

I shrugged. "Eh wouldn't be the first time. Also, I knew you were coming, the voice said so. Speaking about the voice it actually told me to nail the elf in the balls. Can you believe that? It's like a passive-aggressive moody teenager-" I got cut off as Freya hugged me. My hands outstretched and I went stiff and wide-eyed. My eyes flickered to Thor in search of help then to Loki but neither intervened. Oh god, we're back to hugging someone sent help.

She released me but her hands were on my shoulders here eyes trained on my face. I swallowed feeling the intensity of that gaze. I weakly smiled. Her eyes flickered over my face, looking for something I felt myself heat up again under the careful attention.

"You are so brave." She repeated what she had said earlier. More behind her gaze and it pulled at me, gave me a pang in my heart, longing and a familiar pain and, my eyes went blurry again, and oh god I wasn't going to cry was I?

She let me go and took a step back turning to her sons. I looked away and brought my arm to my face, hiding it in the crook of my elbow discreetly trying to hide away the tears that suddenly appeared. Taking a shuddering breath I calmed down and then let my arm drop again.

Everyone composed themselves and I then felt a familiar thug in my chest. My hands flew to my chest as my eyes widened.

"Oh no no no to soon I can't go back now," I said in a panic. I turned to the others who now looked alarmed. My gaze zeroed onto Loki and with panic, I stumbled forward my hands clenching and hanging onto his arms. I desperately looked at his eyes flickering over his face as words started to tumble out of my mouth.

"You gotta help them the fight- be careful I know you have a plan you did amazing in the visions helping them but- careful don't get stabbed and and- don't let them lock you up again because you are innocent and your family should be happy not tearing itself apart that's why I brought you to this room Freya loves you, Thor loves you, your family loves you and-"I was cut off dizziness taking over.

I almost fell but Loki kept me upright. He smiled down at me.

"I will be careful no need to worry. May we see each other soon again." He gently said inclining his head. I smiled and then my vision went blue.

* * *

I gasped for breath looking at the ceiling above me. I shot up from my place on the floor heaving for breath and looking at the familiar kitchen. My eyes widened as I looked around. No one was there.

"Tony? Pepper?" I asked turning to see if any of the adults were present but I had no luck in finding them.

"Sir and Miss Potts are looking for you at shield." Jarvis' voice came. I deflated in relief looking at the ceiling.

"Oh okay... Can you tell them I'm here?" I asked hesitatingly.

"I already did, they are on their way," Jarvis answered. I nodded looking around. I sat down on my stool and leaned onto the kitchen tired out of my mind. I deflated because I was at one of the only places I felt safe. My eyes began to close and I fell asleep.

I was shaken awake what felt like ten seconds later and I rubbed my eyes yawning. Looking up I saw a really worried Tony.

"What happened kid? You just disappeared!" He said half in hysterics. I smiled at him.

"I was on Asgard, saw Loki again, Thor still has long hair and fought some dark elves. Discovered I had magic powers, some intergalactic ancient deity-like being entered my mind to scold Odin the father of Thor and Loki because he threw me against a wall and almost killed me with magic, then I met Freya which was nice, she was nice and did you know the whole castle is golden?" I was mumbling but Tony heard the words clearly going by his widened eyes and open mouth.

I grinned at the expression leaning to him and resting. "Missed you," I mumbled into his shirt. Feeling secure. His hands began to circle me and rested there.

"I missed you too kiddo." He answered.

I closed my eyes.

Safe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: And another chapter yey. This one was a monster. Like, I had to use 2 documents to edit this. My inability to make shorter chapters is to blame. So I hope that satisfied you. Also sorry for the long wait. Just got really unmotivated and had a lot of things going on in my life. Like visiting my gramps in another country and stuff. Finally got a bit of a break from the biggest things and enough motivation I guess.
> 
> I've also been editing my other story's so if I post those soon don't be surprised. And have like a million other ideas. So utter chaos yey.
> 
> I kinda got weirded out when I saw people actually do read my stories. Incredibly happy yes, but also with the feeling of huh. Like dang, I didn't really expect that to happen. I mostly posted them because my friend was like yeah! And I was just writing this all and letting it lay around. So a bit of a surprise.
> 
> Also, school is starting up again, so a regular update schedule won't happen but I'll try to update and edit as much as possible.
> 
> The thing about this story is that I constantly want to write character analyses and why they do certain things and why they react a certain way. It's a nightmare.


	4. I march to my own drum

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony does a quick recap on what happened after Tony took him in. We have feelings. Some daily interactions with Tony senior, Pepper, Rhodey, and Happy. Jarvis has a super-secret club because he's a mastermind and Tony, Dumm-E and U are his minions. Tony gets a surprise. Tony goes to therapy. Therapy gets interrupted by bad guys. Guess we'll never talk about our feelings in this house. Hydra sucks. Tony can't remember a lot. The memory blocking chair sucks. Demian has a father and he isn't nice either. This is concerning. Tony kidnaps the twins because hah! Entity's get impatient. Tony meets Ultron. Ultron is now named Tyr because he's cool like that. Tony sleeps. And then we have flashbacks. It's sad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: MENTIONS OF ABUSE, KIDNAPPING, PANIC ATTACKS, ANGST. YOU GUYS KNOW THE DRILL, I HOPE.

We didn't talk about my disappearance to Asgard. Every time they mentioned it, I would go rigid, not wanting to remember the stifling magic and fear and the voice in my head. So we talked about other things. Like which school I was going to go to now? Legal stuff with the Lawsons and some teachers and stuff. Really average conversation topics.

They at least were easier to talk about than being thrown across the room and almost getting killed by Odin.

What can I say, that is life.

If we keep out the panic attacks, the night terrors, and the dissociation I sometimes experience. Tony tried to get me to the doctor or some therapist but I refused because doctors aren't what I want to see any time soon. Bleh. Crazy doctors and hydra and bleh.

Though he tried to insist on a therapist I just said I wouldn't go nor talk to any of them. I told him I would probably lie to them anyways. He tried to bring it up multiple times but each time I made a more ridiculous excuse.

For legal reasons I also had to tell some policemen, my lawyer, and someone from child protective services what happened in the last months. Fun.

Talking about that I am going to be 16 soon holy shit. I had made such a comment to Tony while I was drawing and he had demanded I tell him when my birthday was and how old I would be turning. Which came to the weird r Ilization can legally drive soon. That's so weird. I mean sure I have had multiple near-death experiences but driving? What.

This is so weird.

The whole proceeding took a long while and when it came down to it I had to get new guardians. When I asked if I was going into the system Tony just looked at me like I was an idiot and said that he was going to adopt me of course because what else was he going to do? Risk losing my sarcastic comments?

It was weird and involved crying so we're going to skip over that.

Moving into the tower wasn't that difficult. When Tony said he was getting me everything he meant that. He literally got everything for me. Including the damn bed. And the clothes the Lawson's had bought for me. When I commented that I rather burn those clothes than wear them because they weren't for me but the idea of me and they are associated with awkward and unpleasant moments, he brought me to his lab and used his repulser to put them on fire.

It was great.

* * *

“Hey, Rhodey!” I said grinning up at the man sitting next to Tony. He smiled, eyes crinkling.

“Hello 2.0” He said watching me jump onto the couch and settle down on the other side of Tony.

I scowled at him. “I am no 2.0, in fact, Tony is the 2.0 he’s part metal already so I’m more original.” 

Tony let out a dramatic gasp hands flying to his arc reactor. Rhodey made a thoughtful noise and then nodded like what I said made perfect sense.

“You’re right, I guess Tones is the 2.0 in this relationship then.” Rhodey drawled out, expression grave. 

Tony let out another yell of outrage, protesting.

“Jarvis, do you see how they treat your dad? Tell them that I’m not a 2.0!” Tony said, looking at one of the hidden cameras that Jarvis sees through.

“Unfortunately I must remain neutral in this argument sir,” Jarvis said. Both Rhodey and I choked, laughing at Tony’s expression of betrayal.

* * *

It's beady big black eyes stared back from its perch on the shelf. Like all the others. I glared down at it but its eyes didn't hold any life in them.

"Kid why are you glaring at that stuffed animal?" Asked Tony from the entrance of the aisle. My head twitches and I look at him pointing to the abomination before me.

"That's wrong on so many levels," I answered with a disturbed expression. He raised an eyebrow with an amused expression and walked closer. He leaned forward and looked at it.

He let out a laugh finally seeing what I was talking about. I just huffed and looked at the thing that was supposed to resemble a fish in a bowl with a human body that held a cape. Yes, I was looking at a knock of Magneto stuffed animal and it just. No. Disturbing.

It's just come on! What the hell universe? Why put this abomination before me so soon? Peter isn't even spider man yet! I think..?

I huffed and stood up looking at the other stuffed animals trying to find something.

We were in a toy store, Tony brought me here so I could get something for myself. I didn't know why he thought I wanted a toy or something like that but a stuffed animal sounded good enough to me. I mean come on if I can find one big enough I can use it as a pillow and sleep everywhere.

I walked up and down the aisle trying to see if anything was there but no luck. I huffed again while Tony just chuckled at me, I of course ignored the man. Finally, I spotted a big fluffy red fox and immediately tried to grab it, but it was on the top shelf and my reaching hand didn't even come close to getting it. This led to Tony full out laughing at me and grabbing the fox while I leveled him with a glare.

He paid for it even though I insisted I would but ignored me which led me to glare more and he only laughed more calling me adorable which let me protest about that because I AM NOT ADORABLE DAMN IT.

He finally gave me the fox and I grumbled hugging it. I rolled my eyes and we then finally left the store. Tony was wearing a cap and sunglasses, his clothes consisted of a hoodie and jeans. He said he wanted to blend in and not get more attention because he didn't want the vultures to come.

Hilarious.

After visiting the toy store we went to a restaurant to eat something. Both of us got a burger and fries. His was beef, mine was chicken. It was fun to talk and relax especially when Tony kept making faces when I pulled out my phone to show him memes. I don't think I laughed that hard in a while.

The fun part is that he kept referring to me as junior while I called him senior. Though sometimes he would grumble he wasn't that old, which made me say he wasn't old but ancient.

Life's good.

That said he also brought me to R&D to show off. I wasn't on a great level of brilliance like all the other scientists, cause they’re actual scholars that studied their fields and you know, really smart. But damn was everything interesting. He even said I was allowed to get my own little lab where I can do my own project so that I could make things. Well, let's say that involved some cool explosions, some all-nighters, and lots of sugar. I could already code a bit having had a crash course in it before but now? Safe to say Tony finds my coding acceptable.

My first project, of course, is making a mini-robot that resembles the iron man suit but it's a work in progress to get it to do what the actual suit does and it's a surprise for Tony. So indirectly asking things while trying to not seem overeager is hard. Fortunately, Jarvis helps a lot even though my blasters aren't going to be as powerful and the movement programming is starting to come along.

Can't wait till it's finished.

* * *

"Hey Happy." I murmured, shuffling into the kitchen. 

Happy was cooking something. Something called pancakes, going by the sweet scent. He made the most delicious ones in the universe. 

Happy's cooking is to kill for. I'd fight Odin for them, hell I'd fight Thanos for them. They don't deserve the pancakes anyway but still. I would.

Happy nodded in greeting and gave me a plate filled with the sweet delight, and some chocolate syrup to put onto it. 

Pepper, Tony, and Rhodes weren't here yet. Probably being heathens. Which is great because I get more pancakes now. 

* * *

“Pepper!” I yelled, darting past Rhodey with Tony hot on my heels. 

  
She turned to me raising an eyebrow in amusement when I darted behind her.

“Yes?” She asked, looking at Tony who was pretending to be innocent.

I pointed at his guilty face and said: ”Tell him I don’t need a bodyguard!” 

Tony made a face and started to protest. “Yes, you do! You’re fragile cargo! You’re a tiny human! You need a bodyguard. Tell him Rhodey!” 

I made a face. “I’m not a baby! Nor am I tiny! I don’t need a bodyguard!  _ Rhodey _ .” 

Rhodey pulled his hands in a surrender position and escaped the room. 

Both Tony and I rounded on Pepper instead. 

She raised an eyebrow, crossed her arms, and gave us a  _ look _ .

We immediately cowered. 

“If you go out without Happy, Tony, and or Rhodey, you’ll get a bodyguard. If you’re in the presence of one of them, or in a place we trust, you won’t have to get a bodyguard.” She simply said to me. Then she turned to Tony. “And don’t treat the only teenager in the building like he’s a toddler. That’s just asking for an argument. Now if that’s all, I have a meeting to attend to boys.”

* * *

"OH NO CODE RED CODE RED THE VULTURES HAVE DISCOVERED US!" Yelled Tony running down the hallway and crashing onto the couch. He grabbed the remote from my hands and opened a news channel.

There was a photo of us two, both wearing caps and sunglasses in our civilian disguises, eating at a diner, and messing around. The photo was a bit blurry and not that greatly made so probably by some person on the street who recognized us. Under the photo was written: TONY STARK'S SECRET LOVE CHILD?

I snickered pointing at the ridiculous text. "Secret love child?"

Tony's face made a complicated move and then he started to chuckle. "I guess you are now my secret love child, junior. Whomever would have known? I certainly didn't." He drily said and burst out laughing.

"Man, that's hilarious. Also, who are they calling a child? I'm a teenager and this is teen erasure!" I dramatically said swinging a bit with my fist.

The news lady started to talk about how they hadn't gotten much information about me and who my mother was and that Stark industries nor mister Stark had answered yet but that they will update further when they have more information.

I let out a chuckle. "Well good luck finding my mother idiots," I said grinning. "Unless they can hop through space and time or something they aren't going to find her." Tony let out a snort.

"Ain't that the truth." He muttered eyes back to the tv. He looked conflicted and then started to grin like he had a bright idea. He fished out his phone and opened something. He then shuffled closer and threw an arm around my shoulders. I looked up in confusion and saw he was going to take a picture. He made his movement slow enough that if I wanted I could stop him. I didn’t. He looked at me if I was okay with it, I nodded watching him lift his arm before us. 

"Say I am not a secret love child!" He teasingly said. I let out a laugh and he snapped a picture. I watched as he wrote some things and put some hashtags. I raised an eyebrow and watched as he posted it.

"That should put an end to that." He said nodding. My phone vibrated and I fished it out looking at the notification. He had tagged me in his photo and I opened it curious about what he wrote under it. I let out a laugh reading the text and grinned at him.

"My obviously not secret love child and I are chilling?" I asked with amusement. He smirked at me.

"Well, that should make it obvious now wouldn't it?" I heard the mirth in his voice.

I immediately got messages on my phone from my Instagram account, it literally exploded with messages. I made a face and looked at Tony who looked smug. I shook my head and disabled notifications so that it wouldn't ping every other minute.

There goes my unfamous drawing account. I guess more people can now enjoy it at least? God do I even want that kind of attention? I mean it's not like everyone isn't going to take photos of me when I walk around in the street now and it sure as hell is funny so I guess it's not that bad.

Not even seconds after that it appeared on the news. The news lady cleared her throat and the picture appeared beside her.

"It appears that the child, now identified as Tony Sparrow, is not the secret love child of Tony Stark. While their names consequently do match, it is not because they are related. But that does beg the question who this child is."

I snorted. "I have never seen so many people interested in my personal life before," I said. Tony patted me on the shoulder with a serious expression on his face.

"You are now a celebrity, that means that you as of right now are going to be my apprentice in being famous. One day your legacy will read Tony Sparrow, the man who started under Tony Stark. The two T's. Junior and Senior. And as your first noble lesson, you should now know that messing with the media is the best past time you will ever get." His tone wavered at the end as he broke down into laughs. I snorted, rolling my eyes at his theatrics.

"Oh, master Tony please tell me what my second lesson of the day is." I sarcastically asked. He only laughed harder at this rolling on the couch his face getting red.

It seems I am not getting that second lesson anytime soon.

* * *

"Hey kiddo, the other avengers are coming by today," Tony said. I looked up from my perch on the sofa where I was doing my homework. I was getting home-schooled. Most of my courses were online and Tony helped with others. Sometimes Pepper popped by too to help because Tony is helpless at history, he claims he doesn't need to know who did what.

Shame Hamilton isn't out here yet.

"Also do you think I can hack into Batman's cave?" Tony idly asked, leaning over the couch looking at the screen of my laptop. I snorted.

"Sure, if you want to get a Batarang thrown at your head," I said rolling my eyes.

Tony just wants to hack Batman's server to prove to me that he can, because I sarcastically made a comment he could never do that. He isn’t listening to the reasoning that it’s fictional and that since it doesn’t exist he can’t actually hack it. 

Honestly, I’m mostly avoiding DC related stuff because, you know. What if I fall into that world? No thanks, I like my non-killer clown life just fine.

Tony finds my aversion to DC hilarious and tries to bring it up as much as possible.

Traitor.

I shook my head out of my thoughts and finished my homework. I then turned to Tony who was now busy on his phone.

"Hey, why are the others coming by today? "I asked, tilting my head regarding him. His face got a smile like he had a joke that I didn't know off.

"They're not the only ones coming by today kiddo." He said with a secretive smile. Oh, shit, something happened. Tony's got that face he uses when he is going to enjoy someones suffering, someone sent help.

"Who else is coming?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

Tony just laughed, eyes bright, and smile wide. He turned away and walked out of the living room.

"Tony! Come one who else is coming today?" I asked him but he had already disappeared from the room. I scowled, turning back to the table and closing my laptop.

"Damn billionaire's that don't listen," I grumbled under my breath. I could feel Tony's mirth from across the fucking floor.

I sighed and cleaned up my stuff resolving to just avoid everyone and go to my lab. Maybe I can soon finish my bot. I felt better thinking about tinkering on the bot and hastily made my way to my room so I could drop everything off there and get some of my stuff and sketches I had come up with.

The lab I admit is messy, has scorch marks from previous explosions, has a possible fire hazard and it's full of dangerous equipment but what else would a crazy scientists lab look like? Clean? I am not that organized. Never will be, I think. Though my workbench and the dangerous equipment are free from my mess because I am not that crazy and I do not have a death wish. Also Tony is strict on possible explosion hazards. Anyway, I had built most of the robot by now, it's armor was still a dull grey because I hadn't painted it yet and the blasters and other dangerous stuff weren't on it either but I was still programming.

On that note maybe I should make an AI and put that in the robot? Wouldn't that be cool? Shit that's another idea but how do I make a full-fledged AI without pulling it to world domination or something... I'll ask Tony and Jarvis later first have to code more, make more and do more, so onto work!

Since I don't work best in silence I asked for some music which yes it wasn't entirely my taste yet but most new songs weren't out yet. Still better than nothing. Though there were some set if off songs which I immensely enjoyed.

I was busy with a mini repulser when the door of my workshop opened. I was at the delicate part and couldn't really risk looking up, so the person that came in had to wait unless they wanted to risk an explosion. The music had dimmed but I was still focused on getting the wiring right on this miniature repulser. I knew it couldn't be Tony behind me because Jarvis wouldn't betray me like that. The wiring finally fell into place and I grinned carefully putting it on a pedestal so it wouldn't fall or come undone. I lifted my goggles and turned to the person in the room.

They were looking around them taking in my messy lab with an amazing expression. I raised an eyebrow not recognizing the child before me.

"The Mecha- Mr. Stark asked me to get you." He simply said. His blue eyes fell onto me. His hair was just as much of a mess as mine and that is saying something. 

I nodded, pulling off my gloves, lab coat, and goggles and putting them on their places. Walking closer to him I noted how he was a good head or two shorter than me. Finally, I wasn’t the shortest person around. Thank god.

I smiled, putting my hand up. I made a kill the music notion and the music that was still playing stopped.

"Okay then let's go," I said. He nodded happily looking around my lab before excitingly showing the way. The kid was vibrating in his skin. Making me smile. He reminds me of a little puppy that was told he was the best boy. 

There wasn’t any danger in following the kid, and I’m pretty sure Hydra doesn’t send them out this young. Also, Jarvis hadn't said anything, and he still works going by the fact that he killed the music and lowered it for me at the right times. And Tony wouldn't let dangers into the tower without at least warning me. 

The elevator ride was silent as I was scribbling away into the notebook I had with me. The kid was fiddling with his own thing and both of us didn’t talk. Since my repulser was done I just needed to test it and then tweak it maybe. That does come back to the energy thing. Should I or should I not make a miniature arc reactor or make something else. The elevator arrived at the common room we use when we have a guest. I closed my notebook pocketing it. The elevator opened and we stepped out. The lights of the room flickered open and I watched in bewilderment as Tony came forward with a party hat.

"Happy birthday kiddo!" He said grinning. "16 already! Two years to go and then we can teach you to hold your liquor." His voice was teasing. I slowly blinked trying to process what I was seeing.

The common room was decorated with birthday decorations. Balloons confetti and food. There were a lot of people too. All the avengers and other people I didn't recognize.

I tensed watching the room and how all the attention was on me.

"Nope Jarvis take me back to my lab I am not doing this." I finally said taking a step back but before I could escape the elevator closed and left. I looked at the ceiling with a wounded look.

"Traitor," I said in deadpan. I looked back at Tony who was wearing an amused expression.

"Laugh it up Tony just beware I will get my revenge." I darkly said. He let out a laugh and threw an arm around my shoulders pulling my close.

"Yeah yeah, kiddo I looked forward to it. Now go enjoy the party the others were quite excited." He said rolling his eyes at me and pushing me forward. I stumbled and awkwardly cleared my throat as I saw that people still were looking at me. Then I caught green in the corner of my eyes and turned with a smile on my face. "Loki!" I exclaimed, darting towards him.

He was watching me besides Thor and he oozed amusement at my expense. I grinned looking him over and noted he looked way better than last time.

"Hello, Tony." He began green eyes bright. "You seem to have survived another year I see." He commented with a raised eyebrow. I rolled my eyes.

"Yeah yeah, I only had like... Wait a second, there was, let's see, the time you tried to use your scepter on me, when I was throw off a plane by you, the time I had to fight a chitaru because I seem to have no self-preservation, the whole Lawson thingy, the time I intervened a mugging and almost got stabbed, the time I stood before your father Odin and got thrown across the room into a wall and almost suffocating courtesy to magic and the time another alien tried to behead me so that's like... At least 7 times in the last 7 months? Wow, that's a new record." I brightly said, clapping my hands together.

Loki let out a snort while Thor had an expression of a mix of horror and pride on his face.

"I think I can take near-death experiences off of my bucket list." I idly commented.

Loki shook his head and inclined his head. "Happy birthday Tony Sparrow. May many more come." I let out a laugh at the formal tone and inclined my head in return.

"Thank you, Loki," I said grinning at him.

Thor let out a laugh putting his hand on my shoulder. "Yes little Viper, may you have many more years and victorious battles." His voice was light and serious at the same time. I grinned back.

"Only if you do too." I fondly said. Thor let out another laugh.

"Hey, kiddo don't let the Asgardians steal you." Said Tony throwing another arm around my shoulders and tugging me somewhere else. I flashed an amused smile at him as he showed me to the food table where some other familiar kids were hanging around.

My eyes lit up as I grinned. "Dean! Adrain, Alex, Kai, and Jake! Wait Nathan too? Whoa, hey guys!" I said walking faster towards them.

They looked happy to see me. "Wait why was Dean's name the most enthusiastic?" Came Adrian's voice.

"That's because he likes him more than you." Kai drily said.

"At least your names were all enthusiastic. Did you hear him say mine? I am an afterthought." Nathan said dramatically hands over his heart. "Betrayed by my own ex stepbrother." He said, looking to the ceiling. I snorted.

"Wait how did you know about this?" I asked with wide eyes. They all laughed.

"Mr. Stark invited us, said that you wouldn't shut up about us," Alex said with an amused expression. I let out a sheepish smile, cheeks coloring.

"I ah-" I didn't know what to say to that fidgeting with my sleeves I avoided their attention.

Dean lightly punched my arm making my look at him. He had a warm smile on his face. "I'm glad you're doing better now." He said. The light mood sobered up.

"Of course only Tony can make Iron man somehow fucking adopt him." Said Kai, expression completely serious. I snorted and the others started to laugh. Kai just looked confused at us and then shook his head with a smile.

"I mean, it's not like I did it on purpose," I said eyes crossing over my chest. This only made them laugh harder.

"Mr. Hollow would go grey with all your antics.'' Said Dean clutching his stomach. I raised an eyebrow interested in what he meant by that.

Catching my look Adrian started to explain.

"When he heard how Mr. Lawson and some teacher treated you he went on a warpath. He knew a really good lawyer who after the first trial of Mr. Lawson had made his punishment extended when he found more loopholes. After that, he went to Mr. Moran and tore the man apart until he  _ resigned _ ." He said grinning in vindictive glee.

I was speechless. "Wow," I said wide-eyed.

"Mhm, he said that no one harmed one of his students without getting away with it," Dean said with a big smile. My expression closed off at that. Mind going back to Demian, the bloody insane bastard.

"I see." I simply said eyes flickering somewhere else. I spotted the boy that escorted me here. He was talking to Tony. I tilted my head, he seemed familiar, but I didn't know how.

The kid noticed me. I smiled at him which made him just raise an eyebrow at me. I rolled my eyes, turning to the others who were watching me like a hawk.

I slowly pulled my hands up in surrender taking a step back sheepishly laughing. "I didn't do it," I said eyes flickering to each of their expressions. Dean rolled his eyes.

"Yeah yeah go greet your other guests. I know you aren't that you don't like group gatherings. We'll be here eating as much food as possible and watching you fail at talking." His voice was joking which made me grin. I had such dramatic and great friends.

I turned away looking around and spotting the other avengers. They were loitering around talking to people and stuff. I made my way to them when I froze seeing the familiar eye-patched man. His eyes flickered my way, noticing my gaze. I was frozen in half panic, wide-eyed, and immediately turned around, walking away to the bathroom. I avoided the people around me dancing out of their reach and almost ran out of the room. The hallway down I opened the empty bathroom and closed it behind me locking it.

I fell to the ground gasping for breath trying to stay steady and here and safe and breath. It didn't work because I just kept going back to that house and beer bottles and hits and hauntings and taunts and trapped and hands around my throat and eyes everywhere and I couldn't  _ breathe- _

The lights started to flicker again shadows dancing and I forced myself to calm the fuck down because what if someone notices? Taking shuddering breaths I pushed the panic down, suppressed it. My hands were shaking and they wouldn't stop shaking  _ why were they shaking- _

Inhale.

Exhale.

Breathing. Get oxygen into your brain and lungs and veins so you don't die. I shakily got up and walked to the sink and opened the tab watching the water splash. I inhaled deeply and put my hands under the cold water I then splashed it onto my face. I exhaled the water dripping down my face. I turned to the towel and dried my face and hands.

I was calmer than before the cold water had felt like it had woken me up. I critically looked into the mirror trying to see if something was out of place. Past the minute tremors in my hands and my hair that was still a bird’s nest, nothing remained of my panic attack.

Well if seeing someone makes me panic I don't want to know what talking to them does to me. I scowled at my reflection cursing my reactions. What if someone noticed? I don't want to panic like that in public. I shook my head trying to clear it.

There was a knock on the door.

"You going to be in there for a while? Should I come back later?" Came an annoyed voice. I swallowed trying to relax. I didn't recognize the voice, it was young, male, accented. I took another breath. Stepping to the door and unlocking it. Pulling it open my eyes flickered to the taller guy. His expression had an annoyed tilt to it and a raised eyebrow.

I stepped past him so he could enter. His eyes flickered to me and then he entered locking the door behind him. I didn't want to go back to the common room and just walked to the kitchen, which was the opposite direction. Slipping into the kitchen that wasn't used I sat down on a barstool putting my head in my arms looking at the clock.

It wasn't late. Not at all barely getting to 5 o'clock even. But I felt tired. Didn't want to pretend to be fine around so many people. I took out my notebook and started to draw some schematics on it. Things that could replace the arc reactor as an energy supplier for my, what I guess would then be, android.

I finally realized how I knew the boy and groaned out loud. "Oh come on Tony!" I grumbled putting down my pencil. I glared at the ceiling.

He didn’t even introduce me to Harley himself! Did I mess up? Oh no that’s kid original, have I replaced his spot as oldest? Does this mean he’s now my unofficial sibling?

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. The kitchen was silent except for the clock ticking away. I pocketed my notebook again and stood up.

"Guess I'm doing this now," I said walking out of the kitchen back to the party.

Wouldn't want to miss my surprise party ey?

There was a murmur of people and I slipped back into the room. No one seemed to notice my departing nor my return and I preferred it that way. I leaned back against the wall next to the door watching everything.

It's nice that they all came, nice to be able to celebrate with someone. My parents wouldn't have done a surprise party because they knew I wasn't that great in social interactions. Every birthday I had I would go somewhere with my friends. To be active and not have to talk too long but still have fun.

Even if this is a surprise party I didn't really mind. I'm happy I still have something that resembles a party. People that care about me. Something to ease my longing and pain. To stifle my loneliness.

"You don't look that happy.'' The comment came from my right I turned to look and the boy from before whom I can now assume is Harley Keener. He was smiling, looking around with excitement. What a precious 11-year-old.

I sighed. Conflicted. To share or not to share? That is the question.

My eyes traveled back to the party.

"I'm not overly fond of crowded places," I said instead of the millions of thoughts and comments in my head.

I heard a snort from Harley but didn't look at him. I inclined my head.

"I'm Tony Sparrow." I finally said.

"Sparrow?" He asked, sounding interested. It sounded like he was filled with questions but kept them back.

"Yep, I'm adopted. Which is great and all but I rather keep my last name as a reminder." I idly said eyes flickering Tony's direction. He was talking to his science buddy making gestures and Banner looked just as happy.

“Oh.” He said. Then shifted. “I’m Harley Keener.” 

I smiled. So I was right. 

“How did you meet Tony?” I asked, trying to keep the conversation going. 

Harley grinned at me with delight. “I met the Mechanic after he broke into my garage, he was on the run from some bad guys and I helped him. Oh and I shot him with my potato gun.” 

I blinked. He stared at me with a proud gleam in his eyes and I couldn’t keep a straight face anymore-

“Pffftttt-” The staring competition stopped as we both burst out into laughter.

When I tried to stop I met Harley’s eyes and then another round of hysterical laughter started. There were tears in his eyes and my sides started to ache. 

Finally, I straightened myself trying to control my face muscles. God damn it mouth stop smiling. 

Harley was grinning and yeah I can see why Tony decided this kid needed to be protected at all costs. Guess I have another sibling now. 

“I met him after I fell out of a portal and Loki tried to kill me ‘cuz of mind-altering aliens and he decided I wasn’t totally boring,” I said. 

Harley snickered, nodding his head. “That sounds like him.”

I ruffled his hair ignoring his squeak of protest. I grinned eyes alight with mirth as I leaned towards him like I was going to share a secret. He immediately caught on and put up a semi-serious expression. 

“Welp I guess you’re not that bad. You’ve officially joined the ranks of minions. Jarvis is our number one mastermind, U is our spy on the inside and Dumm-E is our scout. I, of course, am our mission leader. And you’re our newest recruit. The plan is called world domination. Welcome to the team, agent Harley.”

Harley nodded in mock seriousness. “It’s an honor mission leader.” He said mock saluting me. 

We stared at each other with the most serious expression we could pull off.

Harley broke first, laughing helplessly and I joined him.

God, this kid is brilliant. 

He then shook his head saying he was going to steal some food and bother The Mechanic in getting him better equipment. I gave him my blessing as a mission leader and he of course graciously accepted. Hanging out with him was going to be so much fun I can already tell.

My eyes flickered across the room and came to a rest on one person I didn't expect to see here. I stumbled in my walk and came face to face with Demian fucking Hound. He noticed me and grinned at me. I slowly blinked trying to unfreeze and walk the fuck away but I couldn't move. It just caught me so off guard my brain needed to reboot.

Demian walked my way and I started to feel a bit sick. He casually threw an arm around my shoulder still grinning.

"Heya little birdie, how are you doing?" He asked, voice uncomfortably close. My eyes flickered over the place but no one noticed anything wrong. I swallowed.

"I'm fine. How are you?" I asked softly. I wanted to disappear. He calmly led me to a couch, we sat down. He still sat too close but when I shifted he shifted too, knowing how I felt about the closeness, he ignored my discomfort. How did he even come in here? Oh. I never told anyone. I'm so stupid so so so stupid.

"I am doing perfectly all right as you can see. Better than ever little birdie." He said his grin gaining teeth and eyes that of a predator catching its prey.

"I was quite surprised by the invitation, you know? Hadn't expected it at all. Thought you would have blabbed already. It was a surprise, but I couldn't disappoint now, could I?" His voice held an edge. "So I came because the little birdie is getting older and not so little anymore is he?"

I shifted again wanting to bolt the fuck away but that wasn't really going to happen. I cleared my throat, eyes darting around.

"I see," I said. His hand came on my shoulder, carefully placed to cover my whole shoulder and fingertips touching my neck. I stiffened at the contact, my eyes zeroing onto his face.

"Happy birthday Birdie." His smile, sharp eyes alight. "Hope to see you again soon." He said. He removed his hand and got up. With a wink thrown my way, he walked away. I was tense watching him disappear into the crowd rooted to the spot. The music that was blaring a distant buzz to my ears.

I took a breath. Then another shoving my feelings away like before, like always. Closing my eyes I sketched out a suit of armor with gold and red and blue and light and safe. I opened them and relaxed again. I stood up and walked away too.

I felt exhausted, tired, wrung out and I just wanted to sleep.

The music cut off and Tony popped up above the crowd. He was standing on a stool grinning."All right ladies, gents, and kiddos, it's time for presents!" Tony said his voice over the crowd.

It got silent and then people started to walk around. Tony spotted me and walked over to me grinning. I put my smile on as he carefully guided me to a seat by the table full of presents.

"Now I had put some rules on what was and wasn't allowed to give to junior so whomever that didn't get the memo should remove their gift from the table before I get my repulser." I let out a laugh shaking my head at the ridicules threat.

Then Tony grabbed something and excitedly shoved it into my hands, vibrating in his spot. Claiming that the best thing should get first because who cares what the others got nothing is better than his gift. I snorted at his behavior and carefully without ripping the wrapping paper opened it. Inside the box was a red and gold key. I carefully picked it up, turning it around in my hand. With a confused face, I looked up at Tony who was positively beaming.

"I made you a motorcycle." He said, eyes alight. My eyes widened. A what now.

"What- A- When- what the hell?" my brain short-circuited. Tony looked like he was going to cackle at me.

"You told me you wanted a motorcycle when you were older so I made you a Stark approved motorcycle." He was grinning so big I was afraid his face would get stuck that way.

I dumbly nodded looking at the key in my hand. Beyond shocked, I could only stare at it.

"I think he broke him." Someone commented.

I blinked and then started to grin. Looking back up I shot up from my seat and hugged the living daylights out of him. I then released him grinning like a maniac.

"Oh, I am going to break so many traffic rules."I happily said, clapping my hands after pocketing the key.

"Wait what-" Came another comment but it was silenced

The next gift came from Steve. He awkwardly handed it to me saying that after Tony's gift his wouldn't be as amazing. I just smiled. Unwrapping it revealed a brand new and cool looking art kit. It had paint, crayons, pencils, and markers. It had all kinds of stuff I could use.

"Thank you," I said eyes bright.

Pepper had gotten me a bracelet. It was a chain with the avenger charms on them all silver. She even had added a pepper and a little viper. She also ruffled my head. Rhodey gave me a helmet that matched the keys, a scarf with a fox on it, and a mug with 1.0 TONY on it. This gift made Tony squawk in outrage and I loved it.

Slowly more gifts were given. Thor the big freaking ball of sunshine got me a pet viper. He had talked it into behaving and it had curled up around my arm first and was then put into a special cage for snakes. Clint had gotten me some quality looking bow and arrows claiming he was going to turn me into his minion to join his army of badass sharpshooters. Little did he know I was planning to convert him into a minion of Jarvis instead. Natasha had given me a delicate looking glass fox. An ornament that looked so cool. Bruce had gotten me a calming kit. Things that could help you calm down like tea, a yoga mat, and candles. It was appreciated especially since I could use it.

Loki had gotten me a magical book and dagger. The dagger had beautiful carvings into it and a green hilt. I couldn't stop looking over it which made Tony start to whine that his gift was still better. I had laughed and moved on after thanking Loki and promising him I would put it to good use. He had grinned.

Harley had gotten me sunglasses that were completely black and looked like Tony's.

Dean had given me the entire Harry Potter series. I had blinked at the last one and commented on how I had never read the books and only watched the first of the movies.

This had made Tony exclaim he had to organize a movie marathon again because I had forgotten to mention that before.

The group had gotten me a book full of congratulations from everyone and a framed picture with Dean, Jake, Adrian, Kai, Alex, and me in it. Jake had gotten me a gift card and a book about socializing 101. Adrian had given me money and chocolate. Kai had pretty much the same but also put chocolate milk in the mix. Alex had gotten me a book from the Sherlock Holmes series and some candy. Nathan had gotten me a soccer ball and money.

Demian had gotten a book about a mysterious murder that happened by chocking and a fucking black choker. I am not touching either of those things. Nope.

Then there was Fury who had gotten me an apology basket and some money. Coulson had gotten me a mug with 'BEST JUNIOR AVENGER' on it and also some money. That mug will be my most prized possession. There will be coffee. Tony might regret that but there will be coffee!

I don't get why people are giving me money when Tony keeps on throwing money at me every week demanding I get something for myself because I hadn't gotten out of the house and my room was way too bare so I had to get something decorative. Also, he wanted to go to the Italian place with me again.

There were some gifts from other people I didn't know but Tony had invited. Most of them were gift cards or small knick-knacks.

After that Tony demanded we were all going to eat cake now. People sat down and the cake, plates, and forks were brought in. I was told to blow out the candles and make a wish.

Looking at everyone I smiled and blew them out wishing for everything to end up better than the original. To keep them all alive and happy.

The cake was given out and there was chatter around the table. I was content.

"Tony have you had any problems with your magic?" Asked Loki’s eyes flickering to me. I shook my head. Everyone else's conversation was drowning ours out.

"No, why?" I asked leaning forward. He raised an eyebrow.

"Well, I had assumed it would act up again after what happened on Asgard." He said putting his fork on the table. I shrugged.

"I mean sometimes the lights flicker and shadows dance but that's all." I thoughtfully said. Trying to think about the issue.

"Wait, what happened on Asgard?'' Tony popping up between is two. I tensed at the sudden appearance and went rigid at the question avoiding both their eyes.

"Tony hasn't told you yet?" Loki asked, disbelieve coating his words.

"Only the basics, which is barely anything at all," Tony said sternly.

"I see..." Loki sounded speechless. I coughed and got up. My cake piece was finished anyway.

"I'm going to the bathroom," I mumbled and walked past them leaving the room. I sighed exciting and leaned against the wall beside the door. Out of sight. Closing my eyes I messaged the bridge of my nose. My glasses shifted a bit at the motion but I frankly didn't care. I just needed to clear my head.

At that thought, I kicked off the wall and walked down the hallway. Till I opened a door and was on the balcony. There was a couch and some side tables here so I sat down looking at the sky. It was beginning to turn orange. My guess it had been hours since I last looked at the clock meaning it would be around 8 or 9.

God everything was so messed up. It feels like I can’t breathe or catch up. Like the air is running out and I have to get out before I choke and the endless possibilities that could happen and if I mess up it could go worse and what if I do? What if everyone dies and it would be my fault? I just want to go home. I want to curl up in bed and be safe and not bothered by the world. Just lay down and not get overwhelmed at the notion of getting up. I don’t want to sleep but I also don’t want to wake up and everything becomes too much and and-

I just have to breathe. Just keep going and we’ll see. Maybe tomorrow brings misery but today is an endless amount of possibilities. And I’ll just have to breathe. 

10 seconds ago is the past. 10 seconds from now is the future. But it can also be now. Now is the future and now is the past. Breathe. 

We have to fix everything, but right now we don’t have to do anything yet. Just survive the day for now. Look alive. 

I returned to the party. 

People were idly talking and I wore an amused expression. Tony was pouting about something or another. I walked on and went to Tony. He looked silly with the party hat still on his head. He looked proud. When he spotted me he brightened and tugged me closer to give me a half-hug again.

The rest of the evening passed faster than that and before I knew it it was over.

The guest slowly left and Tony had a conversation with the other avengers who decided to all crash onto the couch while we held a movie marathon. It was fun.

* * *

I startled from my seat jumping and failing with my arms as a hand landed on my shoulder. I turned and saw a familiar amused expression. My eyes widened and my gaze darted to Tony's previous place. He was hanging out with Rhodey. Who looked less amused than Tony who was clearly holding back laughs.

I let out a breath and turned back to Harley. He just raised an eyebrow at me. I shrugged off his hand from my shoulder and cleared my throat. I looked back at my half-finished drawing and glared back at Tony for not warning me.

"God damn it, Tony, you know how I get when I start drawing! A warning would have been nice." I said in annoyance. I let it melt away again under two amused stares and let out a groan instead. I looked back at the drawing and picked it up. I hadn't made any lines with my failing and it wasn't damaged so it wasn't that bad but I put it back upside down anyway and proceeded to get off my stool to bestow my guest with my attention.

Like a proper host. Unlike Tony of course who was still giggling.

"Hello H. What's up?" I asked Harley. He glanced at Tony and then back at me. I got the memo. Super secret minion meeting, got it.

I grinned. "Come on I have got to show you my awesome lab where there have definitely not been any explosions in," I said. Tony snorted and I shot him another glare.

I turned to the door and beckoned him to follow not looking back if he was going to but trusting he will. I scratched my neck glancing at my reflection. I should properly cut my hair shorter again soon. It's getting to the base of my nape and in my eyes.

We entered the elevator, it took us a couple of floors up. Harley was chattering about his newest potato gun. When we arrived on the floor I let him past some corridors into my lab. The lights flickered on when we entered and instead of going to my project I was currently doing, my android, I led Harley to another project of mine. A quite dangerous one in fact.

I smirked, grabbing it from my table and put the gauntlet on my right hand. You see the repulser got me thinking about how I could use other stuff in the hands, and with that, I made my own gauntlet which contained quite the weapons in it.

I turned to him showing my hand after it had shrunken to my size and then pointed it to a target I had set up. My right hand was a fist and with my left hand, I clasped my right wrist. Then I twisted and out shot a syringe landing in the bullseye. I grinned.

"Behold my awesome creation," I said turning back to him. I gestured to my awesome gauntlet again. "Of course it can do far more than shoot syringes, it also functions as a flamethrower, smoke bomb shooter, mini rockets and far more I won't go into much detail about."

I was still grinning. I made a motion in the gauntlet and it hissed before enlarging so I could easily slip it off. Putting it on is easier than getting it off. Which worked to my advantage because I could put something in it to make sure no one would steal it. Shaking my head I then walked on to another table.

Thus began my tour around my lab. The fact I startled him sometimes with what were absolutely not explosions what are you talking about- inventions were fun. Especially when his eye began to sparkle.

I am so glad Jarvis can record stuff because the cackle of glee Harley let out when he used a flamethrower should be forever recorded.

* * *

I looked at the clock. It was ticking tick tock ticking. I wasn't even looking at the person before me, determined to ignore them till my time in the room ended. 

Yes, ladies and gents and others. I am in a therapist's office. Tony finally managed to get me here when he caught me having a panic attack over a letter from Odin. The bastard had written to me, apologizing about the mishap that brought my previous visit. I was actually half tempted to go to Asgard and kick him between the legs but seeing as I can't really do that I had a panic attack after the rage left.

Because how the hell did he get that letter in my fucking room without a trace on how it got there. While I was sleeping.

That bastard.

Tony had asked Jarvis if I had these panic attacks often and of course he told the truth. That I even had them on my birthday on two occasions. That filled the bucket and now we're here.

I was tapping the table urging time to go faster. The therapist, Dr. Mandrake, looked kind. Her curly dark hair in a loose bun, dark eyes carefully watching but holding a kindness to them. Tanned skin had freckles. She didn't start to interrogate me. Had greeted me and told me that we would talk when I wanted to talk. Not when she wanted.

Points to her I guess. I shifted feeling awkward. God, why did Tony book me for two fucking hours? Oh yeah because I am a mess and need help before I have a panic attack in public and threaten someone or something.

I huffed out a breath getting bored of the silence wanting music in my ears rather than this. Something to distract. I can't relax when she's in the room. Don't know her, she's a possible danger. Hell, she even could be Hydra.

But that's just an excuse because Tony would have unrooted her whole fucking file to make sure she was safe. He said so. Had put multiple people through screening to know what is or isn't good for me.

He had gone through the process of whom would have made me the most comfortable. Women, he had guessed was going by my tenseness around males, then he went to what kind of people I relax. Not older because they remember me of the stepmom that should have protected me. No older than 40 because mom was that age. So young but not inexperienced because I get more intrigued when something is interesting.

By then he had at least 14 people that qualified. He had gone over them one for one with me before I had steadily refused most of them.

Blue or teal eyes, reminded me of Demian. Blond straight hair that was just so obvious reminded me of Mr. Lawson. Skin color didn't trigger anything. Height? Can't be towering because that makes me nervous.

We had 4 candidates over after that. I looked over their files and Dr. Mandrake was the least threatening.

I know I chose her but I just couldn't make myself talk. Can't, won't, shouldn't.

Don't want to.

We sat in silence, she was now writing. I wanted to sketch and had ideas about other kinds of energy sources for my android. There were some pencils and paper on the table. I carefully got them watching her warily and then put them before me. She didn't say anything.

I started to sketch my own energy devices. A spin-off to the arc reactor but different. What if I used solar energy? Wait how about carbon dioxide? A device powered on that could be pretty good. Seeing as billions of peoples release it every literal breath they exhale. It could pluck it out of the air, maybe even convert it?

But how would such a device work? Would I make it like a plant? Or a switched up the human body. Damn, that will be complicated and would require more research.

What about making it like a motor? And instead of oil something else? But what else? Something that doesn't rust the metals used so water is out, something loud, and can be used as oil. Ah, I have none of my usual stuff at my disposal to try it out so I actually have to wait till I'm back home to test all of this out.

Okay, what about the AI I wanted to put in the android? I'd have to make it be able to talk that's for sure, so a pseudo voice box is required. Though it needs to be better protected so it doesn't crash or something. Now the brain or its base needs to be properly protected. I could put it in the android but I should also back it up on multiple other servers so I won't lose them. It should also update itself and what it learns every day and their rules.

Like, don't try and get world domination? Make as many jokes as possible? Be awesome. Wait no, that's too vague... Help me and learn things for yourself. Protect definitely.

Man, this will be fun.

The timer rang, which made me startle and drop my pencil. My eyes flickered to the clock and sure as hell, our first hour was over.

My previous thoughts escaped me and my work ethic disappeared. I sighed out loud and folded the papers where I had written my ideas and sketched them out on. Putting the folded papers in my pocket so I wouldn't lose them. I put the pencil back where I got it. My eyes flickered over the place noting things around the office.

Couches, some small knick-knacks to put patients at ease. There was a blackboard with some writings on it and post-it notes. The office was filled with neutral light coming from the windows. They had blinds but they weren't really used. The room had more soft colors and nothing to pop or distract. Some posters that encourage you to talk, flyers about therapy. Boring and cliche. Though there were some sentimental knick-knacks on her desk. Like photos that are framed, some small things and colorful post-it's on her computer.

God this is boring.

It's actually quite ridiculous if I think about it. How more I don't talk about my issues, how longer I have to come by but I just don't want to. Sure to make a point it's way easier. When I know them it's easier. Hell just to be empathic I can do it but not to fix myself. I tried before but that road only let to more heartbreak and no one actually trying to fix me.

So no, I don't like therapy. And I also detest doctors.

Which makes me a nightmare of problems.

I am quite glad I'm not the doctor that has to deal with me.

I sighed giving up on my silly vow of silence. It's annoying and Tony will surely only send me back every time till I show progress, or not wake up in the middle of the night from a nightmare every night.

I looked up and Dr. Mandrake wasn't writing anymore. She was looking at me, my sigh probably attracted her attention.

I wanted to groan when I met her eyes, the questions that are going to appear are going to make me go crazy. Instead, I cleared my throat, and awkwardly shifted.

"I like drawing," I said. The most random thing that shot up into me. I forced myself to continue. "I like the color red and black, I like Tony, he takes care of me, I love my family and I, uh, like music." I cleared my throat and sharply inhaled. Closing my eyes thinking.

"I don't like crowds, screaming, loud noises, fake smiles, and flashing things. I hate rapists, child abusers, and people that blindly follow what they're told without thinking about the consequences." I opened my eyes, they flickered away from her gaze.

"I’ve been adopted by Tony Stark, before that I was adopted by the Lawson family and before that, I had my own family. My family consisted of my little brother, my elder sister, and our parents. I lost them shortly before the invasion. I was sent to New York for some reason, had some run-ins with aliens, and met Tony Stark and the other avengers. Then after a couple of months, I was sent to live with the Lawson's." I inhaled calmly.

"They had a son. Nathan, he's not that much older than me. Mis Lawson who insisted on being called Ann or  _ mom _ ." I spat the word out, the resentment I felt for how she tainted that word to me.

Shaking my head I continued. "Then there is Mr. Lawson. I never bothered to learn his first name, he never really called me by mine either so I guess we're even. He'd prefer to call me boy or  _ son _ ." Another enduring word. I shook it off.

"Mr. Lawson was quite a drunkard, loved his bottles, loved his fists, didn't love a teenager that hated his situation after losing everything they had." I let out a bitter chuckle. "He loved giving me beatings over the smallest things. I didn't listen? Punch. Didn't get a good score? Kick. I talked back? There goes another bottle. Wasn't perfect? Great a new bruise." My tone was dull and everything was so dull and monotone.

I smiled. "Such an idiot though, he didn't have a good fighting style, couldn't properly throw a punch because of all the alcohol in his system, and was so slow that if I ran he'd barely catch me. Though when he caught me I'd just insult him more. I wouldn't cry and he didn't like that. Wouldn't scream like I should and that made him all the madder. I didn't like the punches and the kicks and the insults, he was a drunkard that didn't have enough time on his hands and thus laid them on my back." My smile fell.

"Ms. Lawson was terrified of him. Couldn't even raise .her voice, was obedient. Only patched me up when she was sure Mr. Lawson wasn't going to rain hell on her or her son. Was in love with the man she remembered and terrified of the man she married, couldn't leave in case the man she knew returned." I shook my head. It was silent but I only heard the taunts and stupid things in my head.

I leaned back my expression closing off. "Nathan, he was distant at first, didn't know what to do with me. An average teenager I'd say. Hanging out with his friends, playing football. Oh, some of my teachers hated him and sometimes warned me not to behave like him. Which I would never do. I like learning. Nathan did after a while start to protest against his father for beating me. Started to stand before him. Was terrified of his father. Said he couldn't understand why someone so big would hurt someone so small. Couldn't understand that the same man that he grew up with could be such a bastard." I let an amused smile grace my lips which disappeared again.

"He wasn't enough to stop it though, could never be there all the time. Hell, if he could I'm sure I wouldn’t have as many bruises as I have, wouldn't have to limp to school daily." I leaned back in my chair and looked at the ceiling.

"Tony discovered the abuse I faced daily after his disappearance. I went by the tower wanting to know if he was all right. Instead of me interrogating him he did it to me. Demanding why I had a limp, my obvious bruises, and how he could help." There was a small smile on my lips.

"He took care of it the next day. Tore his way to my school, called in lawyers, child protective services, and the police. They got enough evidence to lock the bastard up for years. Adopted me the same day and then helped me. He wanted me to go to therapy after the whole ordeal because of my nightmares. I didn't want to. Didn't want to talk about everything that happened. Didn't want to try and fix me just to disappoint myself again. But after a mean panic attack, he was adamant, and thus here we are."

My gaze was still on the ceiling.

"Most of the things I don't like are from before this, I never liked loud noises, preferred quiet places. I hate crowds because they make me anxious, too many things around you to keep track of. Screaming is a thing of its own. And flashing lights make me uncomfortable. Irritated, makes me want to get a pattern in something to distract myself. I hate fake smiles because of the situation. Because so many people wear them when they hurt you." My tone had gone monotone, to cover my discomfort.

I shifted again. Eyes flickering to the clock but it was still not time yet. Should I or should I not. My lips twitched down.

"I don't like to talk about any of this. But my silence has cost me too much so I'll give it a shot." I leaned back forward, leaning onto the table with my elbows. My gaze was burning into hers.

Tell me. Tell me. Tell me, what kind of person are you under those smiles? Helpful? Prone to empathy? Or maybe even apathetic. Understanding? Or curious?

I didn't get an answer seeing as the door burst open and it wasn't Tony that walked in. It wasn't anyone I recognized but they held a gun in one hand and they were stalking over. I shoved away from the table standing up assessing the room and the windows. They were wearing masks, had guns, and were not here to talk about their feelings.

Dr. Mandrake looked frightened. The same doctor was now held at gunpoint as other men stormed into the room with guns in their hands. Shit shit shit.

I stumbled back but hadn't had the chance to even run before someone was grabbing my arms and harshly tugging me away. My eyes flickered, expression blank. I shoved away my panic.

They weren't Shield. They weren't anyone good either. Organized and knew where we were. How did they know? Bugs? Hackers? Who the hell can hack Tony fucking Stark?! Maybe the mail or something? What, how.

I jerked harshly trying to struggle free but I received a gun to my temple for my troubles. Focus. They were wearing masks and hadn't talked. Threats were clear. I was shaking. Think. They were trying to get me out of the room. The man was still holding the gun to the doctor. Doctor Mandrake looked panicked, was pleading even but not really for herself.

"Look please let him go. He hasn't done anything. Why are you doing this- oh god oh god he's just a child-" So she was panicked. I swallowed. Eyes flickering over the people.

I was harshly dragged out of the room and then there was a bang- a scream and a whimper, she was shot going by pained gasps, but not dead. I let out a huff of breath feeling panic settle in my bones. I was still getting dragged and I only struggled more violently. They were willing to hurt-

A sharp pain to the back of my head and everything went black.

I couldn't see, but I heard everything. I was getting carried, shouting and ringing in my ears and pain in my head. They were so loud. I couldn't open my eyes and everything was spinning and where is Tony?

I let out a choked sound as I was thrown into something. A floor and walls, presumably of a van, because they followed me in, and then it came to life and we drove. I still struggled with opening my eyes and I was still panicking. I tried to make my breathing not so loud so I could at least hear what they were saying but besides the distant murmur, I couldn't hear clearly.

Someone was touching me then and ruffling in my pockets and then my phone was out and no no no no no not my phone-

I took a shuddering breath- "No no no not my phone no that's mine it's mine you can't take it that's the only one with my family on it-" I got cut of with a stomp on my hand and I was howling in pain trying to get it out from under heavy metal boots.

Army shoes, male, big feet which generally mean their tall, heavy-

The boot was gone and I cradled my hand to my chest. Curling up on the floor. Scared. Still not opening my eyes wishing the world would stop spinning.

I was blinking the whole world spinning in colors and I couldn't make out anything other than pain and blurs and I wanted to go home. I was nauseous.

I couldn't think clearly. Hands on my wrist holding them up. Getting off my bracelet. Hands on me again they were back in my pockets and there went my designs- unraveling of paper and more talking but I couldn't focus. Breathe, breathe, I need to breathe. Don't focus on the hands.

Taking shuddering gasps I tried to distract myself. Trying to ignore the bile rising in my throat because I couldn't move and there were hands on me and get them  _ off _ .

They were trying to find something on me and then one on my chest around my neck and there went my necklace was torn from my neck and I cried out feeling it snap. Stop it. Stop destroying everything, stop it, those are  _ mine _ .

My eyes were filled with tears and my vision was slowly returning but I wished it didn't because someone was over me still running hands over me trying to search for something which made me let out a whimper struggling again trying to get him off. They were still wearing masks, and the van was still moving.

My eyes flickered around. Trying to find any clues. They were all armed, military postures, clothed in black which meant they looked like shield agents but they missed the insignia of it. No instead they got a dooming red octopus insignia- they were hydra.

And at that thought, I wanted to scream but I gritted my teeth and looked on. There were at least 8 of them. 1 holding me down, another searching me, and the others conserving and talking to someone through a radio.

I want to cry.

The person searching me- male, tall, armed, and tense finally stood up stepping away from me. They dumped my stuff with someone and I watched how one of them got a hammer and destroyed them. Smashing the reminders of my life away.

I bit back a whimper.

The plans were not destroyed however and that made my skin crawl.

That's bad bad bad  _ bad they can't have that- _

The one holding my wrists now bound them together with heavy, made out of thick metal handcuffs. Then released me and sat down on one of the benches that were lined against the walls of the van.

The engine was still roaring with life and I couldn't see anything. My eyelids were getting heavy but I could not- would not fall asleep. I have a concussion and I'm being kidnapped. Dangerous.

_ I want to go home _ .

I fiddled with my hands but how more I did that and how more it rubbed over my wrists and hurt. The handcuffs wouldn't bunch. The hydra agents were silent and I wanted to scream.

Blood was thrumming through my ears, adrenaline most likely. I was still shaking, still wanted to cry but that wasn't going to help my situation, and given who I was with they would love to see that. I tried to keep my expression blank but I was still shaking. I felt frustrated I couldn't get away and I felt trapped.

I looked them over trying to pry them open and know what they wanted. Buried under my fear was thrumming anger waiting to burst and let me run my mouth but that's bad bad bad, can't mouth off have to live- I swallowed again hands still fiddling with the cursed cuffs around my wrists. I didn't have any weapons anywhere on me, wouldn't have mattered with how they searched me anyway.

All of them were tall, most likely all older than 23 at least. Can't see skin or hair on them because of armor everywhere and stupid masks. But that's good. Masks mean they want me alive, which means I'm useful. Means I can escape. They were watching me and my skin crawled. I was a mess and I know I looked like one. My white blouse was messed up and ruffled up. Barely holding itself together. Glad I wore a tank top underneath. Glad my pants are long and covering because I think I'm going to throw up. My shoes were still on, but they were useless sneakers, not even hard soles I'm so so so stupid.

Breathe.

I was rigid and needed to calm the fuck down but my head was a mess and I didn't know how to deal with any of it. Because I was supposed to be safe. Was supposed to be okay. Was only supposed to talk about my stupid feelings and then go get chocolate milk with Tony and go back to my lab to tinker at my android.

Like normal.

Why am I even here? What do they possibly want from me? I'm useless. Nothing, not smart, nor athletic, don't know a lot, powers yes but no one knows about that- oh. Oh no I teleported into the shield base didn't I? Is that why they want me? Because I teleported? Oh no no no no no no doctors and lab coats I don't want them near me, no please god no- I always mess up. Running always gets me more trouble, more trouble and I get hurt everywhere. I want Tony, Tony is safe why can't I go back I don't want to go please no-

The engine slowed down. Movement of the van seized and with horror, I realized we arrived at the place they wanted me. I swallowed down another cry and listened as the van came to a stop.

Then I was hoisted up, dragged out of the van and into a warehouse. Because of fucking course. And then we entered another vehicle. This one wasn't a van. No there were multiple cars, all of them were discreetly looking, official-looking, and most importantly the glass was tinted. I was dragged into one and all the others entered one too.

I was seated in the middle and surrounded by enemies and my skin crawled.

They were too prepared. They knew I was there, they knew and that's not okay how did they know? I swallowed again, forcing myself to stop fucking shaking. I was going to survive this. I was.

I wasn't going to die.

Can't. Just found my new family can't leave again I don't want to die yet-

The cars started to move, we were out of the warehouse, and then there was something pulled over my head. And I felt a syringe pierce my skin which made me tense up and want to struggle but instead, everything went black again and I-

* * *

Gasping I withered trying to get up but was bound down and that increased my panic I can't move can't move can't move why can't I move- Breathe need to breathe. I slammed my eyes shut and hadn't noticed they were open in my panic and counted in my head, trying to calm myself down. Stopped moving. I was in restraints, on a cold hard surface.

That's bad.

_ Bad bad bad bad- _

I was shaking again. That's not helping stupid body you're not helping me at all need to use my brain. Open my eyes and assess the situation open your fucking eyes.

Blinding lights over me. A cold room. I was in my tank top, my pants still on but they were cut till to my knees. I wasn't wearing shoes nor socks. Too bare I can't hide. I was shaking.

Focus. My eyes flickered around the bare room. There was a table beside me with- with- doctor stuff. I craned my neck gazing over all the scalpels and syringes and and- there was a metal door, no windows, no one else in the room. There were multiple cameras in the room though. In the corners. I swallowed down a biting remark.

Can't be too courageous, can't be too annoying, can't get hurt worse, and can't get stopped from escaping.

I let my head fall back onto the table. I winced as pain shot through my head, which means I got that conclusion not that long ago, means it hasn't been longer than a day since I was taken. Means people are searching means they can't afford to make mistakes.

They know that, don't they? Therefore they knocked me out. Of course. I'm so fucking stupid. I tried to move my hands but they were tightly bound, I couldn't move them an inch and the leather straps started to rub against my skin till it burned. I couldn't get free. I flexed my hands and relaxed trying to get them to at least give an inch all I need is an inch but it didn't give at all.

The door opened with a loud croak. I immediately stilled, eyes immediately going to the door. Shadow, tall, male, well built, short hair, lab coat- doctor. Or a scientist. I swallowed. Relaxing my body and smiling a pleasant smile.

"Hello. I'm Tony. I'd give you my hand but I'm a bit held back, how's the weather?" My voice didn't hold any of my fears, I knew how to play. My smile didn't fall, even gaining a sheepish tint to it.  _ (Make yourself human, make them feel guilty, create rapport and then strike them when they turn away-) _

The scientist held a clipboard in his hand and walked closer. He didn't answer me and walked around the table. I followed him with my eyes, tracking his movements. He wasn't armed. Means he's vicious and doesn't need a gun, or he doesn't want a gun. And the second can be used as an advantage. Means he has a heart and underestimates me.

My smile didn't slip. He was standing over my head. Clipboard still in hand. A pen in the other and he was scribbling things down. I strained to hear and heard the familiar whirl of machinery. Ah, that's bad, I hadn't noticed that.

"So what's the verdict doc? Dead, almost dead, going to be dead or alive but not for long?" My voice held a strained note. I was tense and I carefully uncurled my hands. Can't let them notice a weakness. There are cameras.

The scribbling stopped, then resumed. So he hears me.

I grinned. "I mean as much as I like to sleep as anyone else. I don't think this is going to cure my insomnia doc. You see it's an unfortunate mix off-" A hand slammed down next to my head. I tensed immediately. Glinting eyes over me glaring down. Lips curled into a snarl.

He was mad.

I didn't shrink back. Smiled again, eyes crinkling in a mockery of happiness.  _ (Don’t show weakness don’t show them pain don’t let them win-)  _

"Sore audience," I said cheekily. He straightened, his hands straightening his clothes. I swallowed. He was way too mad. I'm the one bound you know. He walked around till he was at my feet. I wasn't able to see his hands from this position. Can't crane my head enough. Shit.

I could see his eyes and they were glaring holding so much venom. What the hell? What did I do? I swallowed down the burst of panic. Didn't like him standing near my feet.

He straightened in a mock military stance. Another set of footsteps entered the room. I didn't look away from the stoic doc. A low voice chuckled, voice giving me chills.

"No need to be so tense, Doctor. Don't you see that the child is trying to access your worth and moral compass. Smart one this one. Already set on escaping." I froze my eyes widening. I immediately looked at the new person.  _ (How did he know how  _ **_did he know how didheknow-)_ **

Big- Muscled and well built. Military like clothes, but also really regal looking. So a high rank. A real high rank. Glinting blue eyes and dark hair, clean-shaven, and a smirk with too many teeth. Bad he's bad bad news.

I swallowed back the panic and smiled again. Putting my mask back in place. The man reminded me of Demian.

"I wouldn't know, can't say I'm that smart sir, just cautious. Though no one really taught me about kidnapping 101 so forgive me if I'm doing something wrong." The words were light, easy, and didn't bleed any of my nerves. I was still watching both of them.

And the regal asshole has a gun. Armed, though he looks relaxed. Is confident he can subdue me.

Fuck.

I hummed eyes flickering between them. "Now that we're conveniently on the topic of kidnappings, could I ask why I'm here and when I will be returned?" My head tilted, as much as it could at least, in question. The bastard smiled, amused.

"Why? Not where? Not even going to ask how long you're here? That's interesting. But alas junior I can't answer the first question, the second though. That one I can." He leaned forward, too close to my face. I didn't even twitch, knowing this game. His grin gained more teeth. 

"You won't be returned." He said voice low, like a secret. I nodded with a serious expression.

"Of course, that means I either get rescued or break out. Nice to know I have options you know?" This was answered with a bark of laughter. The man leaned back standing straight again.

"Ah a comedian, no I don't think you understand junior. You're never going back. Never." His eyes glinted in the dark, like one of the monsters that cornered its prey. I let out a whistle nodding my head.

"I see sir. Nice to know." I smiled at him like he didn't know something I did. Because he didn't. He didn't know where my powers came from, he thinks he can cage me and I won't teleport because I can't. He thinks I don't know how.

Well, he's fucking wrong. Does he really think I didn't test myself in the tower? Learned how and what it takes? He thinks I don't know anything at all when I know the most out of us three here. Enough to not teleport off the earth or get stuck in a wall. I just struggle with location. Which sucks, I’d rather avoid land over the pacific ocean. Also, the voice won't let me die, not till I personally killed Thanos with my own hands, plucked out his heart and he dies. While I didn't hold all the cards, I had a decent hand.

His smile twitched, I had shown too much and he didn't like what he saw.

"Ah, you seem too smug for someone restrained to a table. Let's see how long you'll survive with that attitude." His voice started to lose any humor. Like emotions got sucked away, or he put down a mask. Eyes looked dead, not a spark except a glint hinting to hunger for violence.

They were going to hurt me.

Someone was going to hurt me again.

I let my head drop to the table gaze flickering to the ceiling. Throat felt raw. My hurricane of emotions was gone, nothing in its stead, I felt empty. Like everything was just gone like I couldn't feel. My body relaxed, no smiles on me, just a half-lidded stare to the ceiling.

Someone was going to hurt me a lot.

My silence wasn't met with anything. The doctor walked around back to the machinery, I didn't even try to guess what he was doing. Feeling empty, like I was floating above it all. Like I wasn't there.

Scribbling resumed. The silence stretched on. Footsteps that left the room and the door closed.

Of course, they're going to hurt me. That's how it is. That's how life works, you find something good, finally, you're happy, want to try for someone, and then it pulls the rug out under you, drags you down into the depths, and laughs at you while you despair.

Because I can't have happy things.

I thought it would be different. Thought it would be better. Thought, this time, I could be happy. But taints don't leave and stains are easily overseen. Haunted eyes attract despair and mine have seen too much.

My eyes closed and I tried to keep my despair away. Away from my heart. Away so I wouldn't give up. I just was _ so tired _ .

After a while, the scribbling stopped. Footsteps near me. I remained lax, didn't let my breathing pattern change. Waited patiently.

A hand ghosted over my head. A light touch on my forehead. I remained still. The hand went up ghosted and landed on my bound wrist. Hands on my pulse and I remained calm. I heard a shift and then the hand was around my throat and I gasped for breath, images mixing in my head and I violently twitched away struggling in my bounds again my mouth open in a silent scream and my eyes blinking and twitching.

The hand was gone but the cold fingers near my throat made me want to throw up, made me want to hide and scream and run-

Then there were hands on my shoulders, on my arms holding my down more than one too many voices and I was screaming in anguish wanting to be let go. Wanting to breathe but I can't because there were hands around my throat and a glint in his eyes and I can't escape why are they holding me down-

"LET ME GO LET ME GO LET ME GO GET OFF OF ME GO AWAY LEAVE ME ALONE DON'T TOUCH ME-" And words spilling off my lips and I couldn't think past the hazy cloud of panic. Couldn't move- I couldn't escape-

Piercing pain in my arm and my vision went black-

My head rolled back and I fell landing on the cold ground. I heard a distant sound of metal clicking together past the pain in my head.

There was something around my throat. My hands flew to something cold hanging around my throat. Something pressing down like a collar. My eyes snapped open and I tried to see it but I couldn't, I had to feel it's cold smooth surface going around my neck. The back had something attached to it and when I turned I found a long chain going to something on the ground, attached, metal.

They chained me.

Around my neck.

Found what I feared and used it against me.

I swallowed down the bile threatening to escape me and looked around the room. It wasn't dirty. Wasn't even dark. Three walls were made out of glass, one was made of grey cement. There was a bed, more like a mattress, and lights above me.

Turning to look at the glass, there were holes in it, to hear and speak through.

The two at the sides went to other prison rooms. The one before me led to a panel of different looking machinery facing me. The other prisons weren't used, but there were tales that someone was in them. They were lived in.

I backed away from my position on the ground, moved the bed to the wall, and curled up, back pressed back against the wall as best as I could.

I watched.

* * *

The lights started to flicker. No one was around. But they kept flickering. I tiredly looked at the cells around me. No one. No one was around and I was going crazy.

Nothing nothing nothing nothing.

No one and it's getting boring  _ boring boring boring. _

I groaned aloud letting myself fall onto the mattress closing my eyes. Shifting awkwardly to get the chain to not dig in my back and finally lying on my side, back to the wall to lay comfortably.

I curled up feeling cold. But the lights still flickered. Annoying me. Can't sleep.

Had to just sit there.

I traced bruises on my body that weren't there before. I had no memory of getting them, no idea how I just knew that I didn't want to know. They looked painful. Looked like someone dragged ink over my skin. There were spiderwebs of scars too. Like someone cut me open and looked inside, put chemicals into my blood just to see what happened. They were ugly and I hated them but I didn't remember them.

Why do I not remember them? What happened to me? I was boney and small and too pale. How long was I here?

I can't remember how and why and oh god did they make me forget? Are they breaking me again and again? What did they do to me?

The lights were still flickering and they were driving me insane. On and off and on and off and on and off-

They finally stopped flickering, plunging the room into darkness. I curled up tighter, hands around myself, and dug into my arms.

I was cold and alone and scared and that's how it is. That's just like before. Just like before this all, before the portal and blue and the voices. The crippling loneliness and fears buried under a fake smile. Bored off the monotone and craving love and acceptance. The before was cold and scary and lonely.

This isn't much of an upgrade. A cold cell chained to the wall in complete darkness with no one around, just my wandering thoughts going in spirals.

I don't know if I can survive.

Can't see myself past the broken sharts that once belonged to a golden heart. Can't let go of the cutting parts and every cut leaves me bleeding and dripping my anguish around into a pool of misery. Can't keep but letting it drag me down, howling asking why it happened and why must pretty things be broken. Why must whole things come apart for someone else?

Why must it keep dragging me back?

I slept and pretended the tears slipping down my face weren't there. That my whimpers didn't exist. Because my mind wasn't in that cell but the clouds. Lazily passing by and sleeping, seeing past the stars.

* * *

My eyes snapped open at the sound of footsteps. My whole body tensed and I watched as people passed my cell to the one on my right. The lights of that cell flickered open and someone entered. Soft footsteps, female, young, small, red. Something grabbed my mind but the magic in me clamped shut not letting anything slip in.

Oh.

Wanda Maximoff.

Shit. Where the hell am I? Did they get me out of America? Shit shit shit shit. No, they wouldn't, right? No of course they would. That would make it so much easier to hide. Shit shit shit.

I sharply inhaled and then exhaled. The footsteps then passed my door walking to the cell on my left.

It opened. Another set of footsteps. Slightly weighed down though. That would probably be Pietro Maximoff.

The footsteps return to my door. I don't want to look up. Don't want to. So I lay perfectly still.

The footsteps walk away.

I relax.

The lights are out in my room but the other two beside me are on. I didn't want to move. Didn't want to fucking breathe.

Because I was scared.

They both didn't talk.

There was another probe into my head and this one was more violent, wanting to tear through to get what it wants and I let out a pained whimper as it tore into my mind and played memories trough me-

_ "Junior?" a soft voice. I looked up from my fetal position on the floor. Wanting to put myself together. To put back my mask but before I could collect myself there were arms around me and I was dragged into a hug, into safety. There was a hand in my hair softly stroking it and another on my back making soothing motions. _

_ I sobbed my hands curling into his shirt. I was shaking. _

_ "Hey, hey kiddo it's alright. I'm here. No one will hurt you here kiddo, remember. I promised." His voice sounded worried. _

_ My breath hitched and then I buried my head in the crook of his neck wanting to disappear. _

_"_ ** _It_** keeps _appearing in my nightmares._ ** _They_** won't _go away."I said, voice still shaking from the hands and the water and the screams and the dust in the air. Ash in the back of my throat._

_ "Shh. I know, I know kiddo. I know. Wanna go bother Jarvis to give us some chocolate milk? Calm down and watch a movie?" He asked. An offering to relax, to remember I am protected here. I'm safe.-- _

_ I screamed, smashing the empty bottle to the ground. It shattered into a million broken pieces and a roar met mine and a big body looming over me a snarl on those drunken lips. _

_ "What do you think you are doing, you little brat?!" Demanded Mr. Lawson. _

_ I was panting in rage. Blood rushing through my veins. Mrs. Lawson was crying, Nathan was curled up on the ground hands over his head. _

_ "You- YOU BASTARD!" I screamed and ragged but my rage wasn't enough to evade the blows, didn't keep the fists from landing a blow, didn't let it stop hurting so much-- _

_ "Heya little birdie." a light voice and an arm thrown around my shoulders. I tensed but didn't look up from my book. _

_ "Aw don't ignore me." He said leaning into me. He was looking at the book in my hands. "Whatcha reading?" He asked. Demian's eyes boring into my head. _

_ I shifted my head away. _

_ "Fuck off," I said. Tone dry. _

_ He leaned further into me and I winced as he leaned into my bruised arms. He stopped, frozen. _

_ I heard a chuckle in my ear. I tensed up. _

_ "Aww, I didn't know you were that weak." His voice held mirth. My hands dug into the book. My eyes burned. A snarl made its way to my li.ps. _

_ "I will burn you." I spat, my voice filled with venom. _

_ He let out a laugh leaning further in, I didn't wince this time meeting his eyes. _

_ "I'd like to see you try." He said. Voice holding a tilt to it. I didn't want to know his sick thoughts. But the way his eyes were taking in my face made my skin crawl. _

_ I shoved him off and walked away. _

_ A hand over my throat----- gasping for air----- metal clinking------ reaching for safety------ a smile and warm brown eyes safety and warmth and love----- laughter and explosions---- dead eyes staring into mine, the mirror glinting----- shards flying and screaming ------ Millions of scream ringing in my head----- pain over my body----- bruises turning purple------ terror coursing through me----- a blow to my head----- _

I lurched from the ground snapping forward gasping for breath clawing at my head in panic. The thing in my head was snapped out of it and I cried shaking again. God damn it stop being weak stupid stupid-

The lights flickered on. I froze. Wide-eyed I looked at the opposite wall first, there weren't any scientists or doctors or people behind it.

I scrambled back pressing my back back against the wall, my hands over my ears, and hunching into myself. Silence silence make the screams stop make it stop stop stop-

I breathed in and out just like I was supposed to do. Like Tony told me to. Counted the seconds and waited till the ringing in my ears stopped.

I slowly uncurled my hands away from my head and put them down beside me. I was still hunched into myself, still tensed. But I didn't feel anything probing my mind again. Didn't feel that tearing and pain ripping through me.

She was inexperienced. Not like Odin who wanted it to hurt. Not like him, who was careful, wanted to be sure he got everything through my pain and made it drag on and let me remember even when I'm far away from his presence.

I swallowed down bile.

"You know, that was quite sloppy. You're not the first one in my mind, they wanted it to hurt like yours did, but you're not even doing it properly. Are you new to this?" my voice was hoarse, yet loud. I heard the shifts, the footsteps closer to my own cell.

Both of them.

I tilted my head. The metal clinking of my collar echoing in the room.

"You're both so young too. That's bad. Bad bad bad bad- they're going to break you and build you to be- oh. They broke you already." I shuddered at the images. She had left pieces of her memories entangled in mine.

They were silent.

I weakly smiled, not looking at either of them but the glass that caged me.

"I'm Tony. I got kidnapped, unfortunately. And you're..." I tilted my head to the right glass wall. To the figure there. "You're Wanda Maximoff," I said. Then I looked in the opposite direction. "And you're her brother. Pietro Maximoff."

"How do you know that?!" Demanded Wanda. Her voice sounded mad, untrusting.

I lifted my right hand and tapped on my head.

"You dropped your memories between mine when you looked into my head. My magic doesn't like intruders. So I suggest you don't try again. Last time the voice took over and threatened a thousand-year-old king on Asgard. Though Thor's dad is an asshole so I guess it wasn't  _ that _ bad." My voice held a tint of amusement to them. I could feel the disbelief radiating off of them. I shrugged.

Then I tilted my head. "I'm sorry for your loss. Losing a family is hard."

The reactions were instant magic snapped around Wanda scarlet snapping around her. Pietro moved and was in front of his glass wall. Pounding on it demanding I tell them how I knew.

I didn't flinch.  _ (You can only control yourself, nothing else. But, do you?) _

"I lost mine too you know. They're gone forever. My siblings too. You're lucky to have each other. Though I guess not so lucky to be here of all places. You know their bad right? They've done bad things in the past, and I don't think they ever stopped doing them either." I slowly got up, straightened, and walked forward. To the glass and the machinery, curious.

I scanned over them, filling what they are for in my head.

Then I let my magic snap out of the tightly bound ball I kept it in and it immediately drenched the whole room. Making the temperature drop. They froze.

My hands touched the glass, my fingertips leaving prints on it. The glass showed me my reflection. My messy hair dusting my shoulders. Wrinkled and blood stained white tank top. Shorts that have rips in them. My red glowing eyes. I wasn't wearing glasses but I looked perfectly fine. I looked bad, starved, beaten, and bloody. Like a nightmare.  _ (Aren’t you one? You don’t even feel anything.) _

"You're planning to hurt my family. I can't let you do that though. So you're coming before they poison your minds further." The moment I said that an alarm rang the lights flickered and I grinned.

My magic swallowed them and we twisted _ blue was everywhere and- _

We landed. I rolled onto the ground avoiding a swipe of a hand. Then I fell heaving for breath again.

"Shit shit shit they’re mad mad mad oh this is bad I couldn't get us far away from them, they’re bad, they’re mad, oh no they're going to hurt us and damn it I need to focus-" I was shaking it was cold my feet were freezing, I was standing in the snow. I stumbled back up, swirling around, trying to find out  _ where _ .

No buildings. Trees trees trees- Shit did we land in a forest? I scratched my neck turning around again looking at the sky.

Blue- light clouds- it's day time, that's good.

"We gotta- have to, no no that's bad, they'll know. Shit, where do we go? This is too far away, not time yet. What day is it? Have to get back to Tony he's safe safe and I need to go home-" I let out a yelp as someone tackled me to the ground. I harshly landed on my back, a tall figure pinning me down.

I panicked and flinched hands going up and eyes clenching shut. Panic coursing through my veins and I never reacted that way before that's new that's bad bad bad-

My hands were pinned and the cold was clinging to my skin. With wide eyes, I looked into blue ones that were glaring down at me.

"Who are you?" He demanded to know. His grasp on my wrist was tight, his fingers digging in. That was going to leave bruises. I swallowed.

"I told you- I'm Tony. Tony Sparrow. I have to go home. Gotta go back to safety and the others-" He punched me my face whipping back and I bit my cheek. Tasting chopper on my tongue and feeling stinging on my cheek.

"I asked you who you are!" He was mad. Why was he mad? What did I do?

I shrunk into myself wide-eyed. Scared. I was too small and he was too big yet I knew how to get him off and what his weak points were and how did I know that?

I took a shuddering breath feeling my chest shake. my limbs were freezing.

"I- I'm Tony. Tony Sparrow. I'm 16- my birthday is on November 3rd. I- I got taken when I was meeting my therapist for the first time and I can't  _ remember _ how they gave me these  _ scars _ ." My voice sounded terrified.

He jerked back. Looking like I had slapped him and stumbled off me. Wanda wasn't looking like she was going to attack me. She was watching.

I finally got a good look at them.

They weren't starved, but also not as healthy as they should be. Dressed in mock uniforms that didn't hold an insignia or anything. Weapons on them. They looked small, yet they were taller than me.

Young. Something in my mind whispered.

Scared. I noted.

I cleared my throat. Shakily standing up trying to not lose my footing. The snow was clinging to me and I was freezing.

My body was shaking. I held out a hand. "I promise I won't hurt you," I said teeth clattering.

Pietro let out a bark of laughter. "Like a small child like you could hurt either of us." His voice was guarded though. Not as relaxed as he tried to appear.

I nodded, retracting my hand. "I- I'm sorry I teleported you two. I just- you were going to be pions in their game, and your goal is to hurt someone that's my family." My voice was uncertain.

Wanda's eyes widened. "You-You’re Stark's child!" It felt like she was accusing me of a great sin. I tensed but slowly nodded, feeling wary.

"Y-yeah. He adopted me some time ago. Saved me from some bad people. Helped me. I know that you think he's bad-" I held my hands up to calm their rage down to show I wasn't a monster they made me out to be. "-but he's not! Tony's kind, he's a broken man and he regrets ever making weaponry. He wasn't even his fucking fault that your house got bombed! That was the person that was supposed to take care of him and dealt with weapons under the table. Told him when he was a child that he had to live up to his father. Had to continue the legacy of his father. For the good of the people."

I shuddered a breath in. "He hated it so much. Drowned it all out with alcohol and party's while he wanted to die, staring down the bottles as they went and hating his past that haunts his every step. He was so glad to change it too. Finally doing something better, something right after all the blood on his hands. That got there because he was stupid enough to make weapons. Because someone he trusted asked him to." I swallowed down vomit. The images. The voice was pushing them into my head. The thoughts and self-hatred. The pain and dullness.

"I'm not saying that your pain isn't valid, I'm saying you're hating an image of a man that wasn't the person who fired that missile, that didn't even know that that missile was there. Has worked so hard to try and be better and I can't let you spit on that and demand compensation for his naivety. Like it was his fault he trusted someone and they used that trust for money and greed-" I cut myself off feeling anger shimmering through my blood.

"Tony wasn't innocent, but he wasn't the one who murdered your family." I wasn't looking at them. My mind on the memories and the anguish and the pain.

They were silent.

It was cold. Bad, it will comprise me. Need to find a safe house. Home need to get to safety. The objective is to get to safety- What.

What what what what wait.

I rapidly blinked trying to dismiss the horror washing over me. No. No, they didn't shut up me.

They didn't.

I took a step back realizing I had tensed up and that was bad because I looked like I was going to fight someone. I turned around again, closing my eyes and listening.

To life. To the lights flickering in my head the whispers of minds near me and telling. Searching for the right ones. The ones that keep me safe. To go nearer to them. To be safe and no more pain and tests and fights and lights and voices and metal and-

I let out a shuddering breath feeling like my world collapsed into itself. I forgot what they did to me. I forgot and forgot and they hurt me and oh god what did they do to me?!

No. No panic, have to find Tony. Have to find safety.

The bright flicker caught my attention in an instant and it was surrounded by something new- something bright new and slowly darkening and I twisted the fabric and reality went blue and the two other kids let out startled gasps as we fell through and harshly landed on a floor.

I scrambled up, tensed watching the room around me. My mind went blank and I fell back crouching onto the floor position ready to strike any moment. I heard the shuffling behind me and was aware of the too-loud breathing of multiple persons in the same room.

"Tony!?" Yelled a familiar voice and I snapped back blinking away the galaxy from my eyelids and shot forward into the familiar safe body of Tony who's safe safe safe safe  _ safe safe safe safe _ -

I gasped, taking shuddering breaths and my hands tangled into a shirt so tightly I was afraid to let go and I breathed in the familiar smell of metal and oil and coffee and safety. I was shaking and bursting and I know I had to get up again and do more and prevent bad things but I can't get up- can't let go.

Tony was talking. I know he was but there was only static in my ears and familiar arms around me and that was all that mattered. All I could focus on. My magic brushed and pulsed, warning me. Stating I had to get up and acknowledge the being that held a familiar power as it. _ (was it me or was it  _ **_them_ ** _? Was I myself or not, who am I? Who are we?)  _

I inhaled again and slowly untangled myself. Slowly, like it hurt me I let go and twisted out of the arms and came face to face with a robotic face, I blinked and put up one hand facing a mind, one that pulsed with the same magic and was starting to darken. It's the mind going through so much so young and then I twisted and my magic flared and yanked away from the darkness, smothering it and shielding its mind. It's young thoughts that need to be protected and not overwhelmed. I wiped the vile things trying to cling to it and smiled gently.

"Ah, that's bad. You almost got pulled under by those images you can see." I hummed, dropping my arm and stepping closer my eyes seeing further than the mechanical body, seeing the vast and great mind that was  _ alive _ . Millions of thoughts flying through and living and  _ beautiful- _

I whistled in appreciation. "That's a beauty of a mind you got there, though seeing which gem made you alive, you must be quite special." I took another step closer and the magic thrumming through me lifted, retreating into my mind after making barriers around the other one who needed it.

I blinked, losing the mental image and my attention flickered again. Settling on its face. I relaxed.

"Good," I mumbled nodding to myself. It was curious, I felt it in the air. It's magic reaching around and trying to settle around itself, trying to understand like a child. It was one too.

It hadn't spoken yet, meaning it was trying to figure out what was happening. Trying to understand I reckon. I took a step closer, watched how they didn't tense up, how they just watched. My hands slowly settled onto their shoulder. The suit feels familiar, yet distant. Like the last time I had touched it was a lifetime ago. But that's wasn't true. It couldn't be true.

I pushed the thoughts away. My eyes flickering to theirs.

"Hi," I said, feeling a bit breathless. I heard metal whirring as it shifted their head, tilting closer.

"Hello." Came a static-y voice. It had tilted in pitch and ended in a smooth low one. Nothing like Jarvis'. Jarvis was safe in the walls, alive and safe, and not gone. 

I smiled, eyes curling and feeling better.

"Nice to meet you. My name is Tony. Tony Sparrow. What's yours?" My head tilted too, mirroring them.

A bit of static and a smooth voice continued. "I am Ultron." They said. I shifted and made a hum hand retreating from their shoulder and standing properly, I hadn't grown a lot so I barely reached their chin. I closed my mind and banished the Ultron that destroyed. A new name that would fit is better.

I opened and smiled. "You don't feel like an Ultron though." My tone held a tint of amusement. I shifted closer, reaching with my own magic. Their magic startled when mine met theirs. Then it slowly relaxed tangling into mine curiously. Mine slowly went over it, coaxing it to show me what they would prefer. It sang to me and told me what they thought fit perfectly for them. What was right.

My eyes fluttered open and I let out a laugh.

"Tyr. That's a powerful name for someone so young. Which means you are going to be so great." I felt breathless at the magic thrumming through them- him. Bright as a star. I shook away those thoughts and stepped away still smiling. Feeling giddy. No robot going to kill but a living and brilliant mind that wants to learn. Though there were core functions in him, but he didn't look like he minded.

I blinked and noticed the fragile silence behind me. I startled having forgotten like the idiot I was. I turned around, eyes flickering over the faces, and seeing the whole team there.

I blinked and shook my head. Turning to the oddly silent twins I swallowed.

"Oh yeah. I uh. Okay um." I shifted the calm from before gone. I didn't know how to exactly introduce them to each other. I stepped towards them. Thought better of it and just stayed put. Clearing my throat my eyes flickering between the two groups.

"Yes so, Wanda, Pietro meet the others I guess? Everyone, meet Wanda and Pietro? Shit, what does someone say when they returned from captivity- Oh yeah duh." I smirked. "I want a burger and a press conference."

Tony let out a cut of laughter. I heard someone snort. I twitched, turning around in the room, looking it over. The others were regarding each other. I felt Wanda's magic start and reach with the desperation to hurt and mine snapped drenching the room which made hers  _ freeze _ .

" _ Don't _ ," I said coldly to her. She startled wincing as she got caught. I blinked the silent fury gone again. I couldn't hold my feelings they kept slipping away-

I breathed. Walking forward and stopping again.

I turned to her. Feeling tense. I was tense. Her eyes held a tinge of fear. Like I was like  _ them _ and I deflated. Curling into myself and feeling tired. Pietro was oddly tense like he was ready to bolt and ready to disappear with his sister.

I swallowed down the words that were clawing out of my chest. Pushing them down.

"Don't do that. Don't try it again. Don't even think about doing it or I will do the same." My voice wasn't loud. It didn't have any emotions in it. Stated like a fact. Like the truth.

She didn't move under my gaze. Frozen. I felt her magic retreat. Feeling it's agreement. But also the silent fury, the defiance telling me that I should be careful because she would strike back.

My gaze was leveled at her and I knew the threat she posed, she could become but at that moment I just couldn't do this. I couldn't do this stupid charade. I turned away my eyes flickering over the oddly silent group and I just wanted to crawl into bed and sleep forever.

But I can't. I stared, drinking in their sight. Their faces and emotions and just the fact they were there. And I couldn't move anymore.

And in a flash, arms were around me and I was engulfed into safety and I wanted nothing more in the world than to stay right there. In safety. And there were words again, soft buzzing in my ears and I was so so tired.

And I closed my eyes and my magic silently made a shield for them. To make sure nothing happened to my family.

* * *

I was screaming. I realized. Throat raw and hurt and I snapped my mouth shut.

I was on the ground. Shaking. In the corner of a room. And then there was light and machines and white and beeping and needles and I was choking back another scream because nonon _ ononono- _

I scrambled upright, but I also wasn't because I was engulfed in bandages. Crisscrossing over my skin and so clean and white I never had those before. The scientists and doctors wanted me to heal slowly to remind me I was powerless-

My gaze flickered over the room and it wasn't the familiar cold table but an actual bed. There were windows and natural light. And I wasn't being held down. Looking around I scanned the room but no one was there.

I was alone. 

I settled back, warily watching the room for tell tales that it was fake. That it was a dream. Because. Because I was… I was free?

I don’t.

I… 

Everything still hurts?

But I’m home? Why does everything still hurt? I don’t understand. Why does it still feel like there’s not enough air in my lungs? Like I’m running out of time and if I don’t do something everything will end? I don’t understand. Didn’t getting home mean that you can rest? 

It’s over right?

Why does everything still hurt?

I’m tired. 

* * *

_ “Didn’t I tell you little birdie?” _

_ Screams echoing in dark halls, do as your told or don’t do anything at all- _

_ “Here we are again.” _

_ Fight fight fight fight fight or die please survive we have to survive I’m so scared have to survive survive fight fight fight- _

_ “Except this time you can’t do anything can you?” _

_ Can’t move can’t move let me out I’ll listen please let me out I don’t want to drown let me out I can’t breathe please please I’ll do anything- _

_ “Aww, don’t be so upset, I’m just here to talk.” _

_ He’s laughing again. He’s laughing again and the lights are flickering. Push it down, don't let them know what you can do, you don’t want to see that man again. _

_ “Welcome to my home.” _

_ Don’t move. _

_ “You’ve already met my dad, he said you were a good pretender.” _

_ Bow down.  _

_ “But we both already knew that didn’t we?” _

_ Disobedience will get you killed. _

_ “You’re going to have so much fun here I promise.” _

_ It hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts- _

_ “Unfortunately I won’t be around for any of it, have to go pretend to be a student again to get close to another target.” _

_ Don’t let them know what you’re against or what you're for. Don’t deviate from their norms, don't let them suspect you, it will only hurt. _

_ “But we’ll see each other again.” _

_ Punch kick punch evade drop lash out claw scream punch punch punch- _

_ “Your heart is set on escaping, and if you do.” _

_ Light hurts. Why is everything so bright my eyes hurt what did they do to me- _

_ “Heh.”  _

_ Chair. Chair and electricity and zap zap zap blank. _

_ “I’m the one they’ll send.” _

_ Red is nice. Red talks a lot. Red tells me about the outside world. I wonder if I’ll ever be good enough to deserve going outside like red. Red makes the bad dreams go away. And blue makes me laugh. Makes us laugh? Am I me or am I more who am I redbluehelp- _

_ “So birdie if you run, run hard. Make it fun for me will you?” _

_ Scream- _

**_s I l E n C e_ **

**_W e H a V e A j O b T o D o_ **

**_B E G I N_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Did someone say angst???" *Throws trauma at you*
> 
> I'm sorry. I tried to make fluff, but then my mind went like and now we're going to traumatize him more- and I was like wait what? And my brain was like MOREEEEE-
> 
> Yeah, I did not win that battle... So have some angst instead. 
> 
> Also, I made references to Hamilton did anyone catch them? If you did you deserve a cookie. 
> 
> Oh, and my updating schedule, well let's say school started and now it's probably going to take way longer to update. Sorry. And yes I successfully avoided Captain America Civil War. Because no. Not today. Or any day. I may write about it but I'm not entirely sure yet.
> 
> I live for the minions of Jarvis. Because bots are awesome and Tony has secret meetings behind the scenes. Harley has joined them on their quest for world domination. Rule 1 will be that no one is allowed to hurt Tony Stark or risk the wrath of the minions and the mastermind. (Rhodey, Pepper, and Happy are the high council who will help.)
> 
> Okay, what else? Right! Custody battles are hard and that's a lot of other angst. Oh and yes I won't write any torture. Because no. But there will be flashbacks and a lot of sad boi hours. Sorry. I have warned all of you. 
> 
> And you may notice that I was considering making this story a crossover with DC. But then I realized I don't really know anything about DC and that got scrapped. It was in my original draft but then yeah. 
> 
> Oh also for those who didn't notice, Tony's been in Hydra's delicate care for a long time. It's like months past Christmas which sucks cuz I wanted to write some Christmas fluff. Welp sucks to be him. SO like the whole power-up was trained but maybe not. If you watched the hints I springled into this. Some beings from above aren't happy with Tony's progress and him being stuck there for so long and decided they'd slightly influence Tony. A bit. Or a lot. Don't tell him I said that though. He'll angst.
> 
> And to all the people who read this, THANK YOU!!! I did not expect how many of you read this story. On this site, it's already over a hundred, and wow. Just wow. I'm really happy you all like it. And the kudos and the following I can't- Each time I have to scream into a pillow when it says someone left kudos or followed the story. And not the mention when someone comments! I get a legit sugar rush of happiness. Thank you all!
> 
> Welp, I hope I didn't disappoint! 
> 
> Author out-


	5. There can be music in nothing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony enjoying the stay at Hydra. Tony casually making sarcastic kills in his head. This boy just has a way with words. Also some other P.O.V's of people around him. Some angst again. I'm so proud of the one burn I made. It was poetry. YOU ALL BETTER APPRECIATE IT IT TOOK ME LIKE HALF AN HOUR TO THINK OF. Some angst again. Tony and the word family people. Dad!Tony making an appearance. Tyr being blissfully ignoring and squeaking chairs like the pro he is. Me eating popcorn and watching you guys sob.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: TRIGGER WARNING, YOU KNOW THE DRILL. 
> 
> LOVE YOU GUYS AND HAVE A GOOD DAY.
> 
> ALSO, DID YOU LIKE THE POV CHANGES?? LET ME KNOW. 
> 
> I did a thing ^~^

There is strength in silence.

Keeping your mouth shut and your head down.

There is strength in silence. But I don't feel particularly strong.

There is strength in silence. I want to scream but force it down.

Don't show them anything. Don't let them know. Don't show them weakness don't let them break you.

Survive.

Grit your teeth and bide your time.

There is strength in silence.

Breathe.

**Begin**

* * *

The air was unbearably hot. I was lying on my back counting the minutes.

Or maybe I wasn't.

I felt like I was underwater. There, but not feeling. My emotions distant, not able to reach me.

I was chained, but I wasn't.

How weird.

I let it be.

Nothingness was better than the chaos of emotions from before.

I don't know.

I just didn't want to think.

Maybe I was everything. The light touching down on the earth. The wind ruffling your hair. The sea, gently moving in my own complex patterns. Maybe I was air. Maybe I was water. Maybe I was earth.

Maybe I was fire. All consuming, a never ending chasm of hunger that tears everything apart, forcing the world to crumble down around me as I devour the precious foundations of everything I touch. Greedy and dangerous. Something to be warned against, something to be feared.

Or I could be nothing. No feelings, no touch, no taste, no pain, no sound, no sight. Simple, peaceful and crushingly oppressive, nothing.

What was I?

Everything feels distant, muted. Why do I even want to know? This nothingness is good. It's safe. We want that right? Safeness. Nothing that could hurt us.

Yeah. Safe.

Isn't there something missing?

Can nothing even miss something? I guess not. Maybe we should just stay here. In the void...

Wait, there is something wrong. I know there is but I can't put my finger on it. Like every thought is fleeting. Like the moment they form they are ripped away. I only feel the need to stay. But why would I want to stay here? Don't I have something to go back to?

I'm missing something. I know I am.

But _what_ am I missing?

What could be missing in nothing?

Nothing can't miss anything right? So why am I-

Oh. I must not be nothing. So the thing that is missing… It's me?

But that's absurd. I can't miss me, I'm right here.

Yeah. Everything is just as it should be.

**Everything is as it should be.**

Right. Right?

No. I know there's something wrong. If me is here, but, I'm missing me; then, then... then there's something wrong with me. I know I'm close to figuring it out. Why can't I figure it out? There _is_ something wrong; there is _something_ wrong; there is something _wrong;_ _there is something wrong-_

_**There is nothing wrong with us!** _

_Yes there is. There is no us there is only I, why are you here get out get OUT GET OUT GET_ _**OUT GET OUT GET OUT-** _

**Silence**

* * *

Tony was a peculiar child. The kid would drift off in thought staring at a spot on the wall; not even noticing anything was wrong. Fidgeting with his fingers, with the seams of his shirt, like whatever worry he has is a catastrophe inside his head. Like he can't stop thinking about it. Like it's plaguing his every step.

Ask anyone and they'd call him absent. Describe him as, well, different. Call him hurt. Like there's something missing there, but no one can really tell what. Shattered and put back together, cracked and missing a piece.

A child misplaced everywhere he goes. Like a ghost barely there. Always watching and waiting for something. No one knows what he's waiting for. But he was most definitely waiting.

Maybe that's why he was perfect for the mission.

A lonely child living in his head; erasing and creating worlds with his mind alone. Wishing everyday for something else. To escape the prison the world had built around him. Wanting to scream out, but not even being able to whisper.

A mere boy, with so many feelings swirling and churning inside.

He was perfect for the job. Wanting to help, even when he was at his most powerless. Wanting to be more. Wanting to matter. Wanting to make a change, just not quite knowing how.

There were others they could have chosen for this. Others that could have done it faster or, perhaps even a little better. But hearing a child's soul cry out for what must have been the millionth time, well. Even they can admit they wanted it to stop. How he bargained with his ceiling loud enough, even, for them to hear. Hoping, praying, wishing that someone was listening. Well, they were. But the child did not know that.

Asking with tears in his eyes what is the use of living when everything hurts so, so much? There was so much potential. So many questions left unanswered. So many plea's made out into the universe. So much pain bottled up inside, words of hate spilled out over the top, out of that lonely child's mouth. The words were focused at the ones who could change it, set the child free, but instead chose only to watch.

Eventually, it became too much, and they decided, why not?

You reap what you sow after all.

But seeing that child in pain again. Seeing them suffer more and not doing anything about it, well they didn't say they wouldn't intervene again. Sure the others got mad and said it was only for emergencies, but they did need the child alive right? They all agreed on that much.

Possession was nothing. Influencing the child's mind wasn't a problem. The child didn't even know what was really happening. Sure they may have scared him, but they got him out. So really he can't complain. He stayed alive after all.

Though the others foolishly believed they should stop meddling. Tony doesn't need to know or even remember what they do. He just has to get the job done.

He has to do what he must. And maybe then, he'll be shown the truth. Only then, could he find peace in the silence.

**Watch**

* * *

003 sighed, cradling it's head in its arms and trying to breathe through the pain. The handler said that it wasn't allowed to make a sound but a sigh isn't a sound so 003 isn't going against the handlers orders.

003 is in pain, at least according to the data about human biology. 003 doubts it's human enough to feel pain but the books were clear on it. Pain is when your brain receives a message from any part of the body that tells the person that there is something wrong. Again 003 doubts it's human, especially a person. Though, it guesses that any being could feel pain. Maybe even flowers. Maybe just because you can't hear it doesn't mean it doesn't hurt?

The handler was clear that 003 had to be silent. So it will be. 003 already learned that any noise will be met with pain. If it is pain that it is feeling anyway.

Though 003 can't remember the lessons. Only the message. It's probably because of the chair. Soldier has the same case. They both have a corruption in their files, that is why they need the chair. It is a pity, because 003 has to keep telling the Soldier that 003 is an ally and not an enemy. Soldier keeps getting confused when 003 wears the uniform. Maybe the soldier had to deal with a spy and that is why the Soldier has a metal arm.

Maybe Soldier is also not human like 003.

The twins are human. They keep trying to talk to 003 and tell it all about the outside world. Whenever 003 asked about if it is good enough to deserve to go outside, red would always go silent. Blue would change the topic.

003 can't always remember their names. But the colors are easy to identify. So it's not something it has to report to the handlers.

003 sometimes misses gold whenever it looks at the twins. It doesn't know why. Just that the blue isn't giving enough light and that the red is too… Mad? And that it lacks gold.

Sometimes it even hears a deep laugh vibrate in it's bones that makes it feel… Settled?

003 wants to scream sometimes, not that it will but it wants to. A lot. Or sometimes there are words just on the tip of it's tongue and it wants to make people _hurt_ just as much as they hurt it. It knows better.

There aren't any species that have a familiar power like 003. So 003 is probably not an alien like the god Thor or Loki. It is probably an experiment. There have been multiple tries at a recreation of the super serum of Steve Rogers. The Soldier is an example of it. But 003 is not particularly strong or fast.

It is similar to the twins in that way. Maybe it wanted to be made this? Like the twins who asked to receive powers. But the twins said that it was not in the group they were in. Maybe it was created in a lab? It remembers something about cloning and making human babies in labs. It's not sure how exactly it received these powers and how exactly they work.

Are there any more 003's? Or were there 001's and 002's? Is 003 a one of a kind? If so does this mean it is valuable? Will the handler treat it better when 003 becomes more powerful? 003 doubts that. The Soldier is not treated well either. So there is no chance 003 will be.

003 sometimes hates Hydra. It knows what hate is. It is an easy feeling to identify and feel. It burns 003 from the inside up and makes them want to hurt. Hate makes 003 go on even when 003 does not want to go on.

Like when it has to visit officer Hound. Hound always says these things that make 003 afraid. Like that 003 is like a little bird who will fall down while trying to fly. The little bird comment always makes 003 want to stab something, or someone. And that some people are born lucky, and 003 was lucky to be born. That one sometimes triggers an ache in 003's chest and a want to hide. Maybe. 003 doesn't know.

Being afraid makes 003 angry. Officer Hound sometimes tells 003 that his son gives his regards and this makes 003 want to scream really loudly. Not that 003 knows who Officer Hound's son is. 003 just hates both of them.

003 knows hate. 003 feels like fire sometimes. 003 hopes it will burn the Hounds. A fire that consumes everything and dies. So it will watch itself burn so they will end. So the whole of Hydra ends.

Till then 003 will watch and wait. It is not throwing away it's shot. Not yet. It will lie in wait.

**Wait**

* * *

Tony Sparrow disappeared between 3:45 P.M and 4:00 P.M, he was kidnapped by an yet to be recognised organisation. Disappearing off the face of the earth. No digital information on where he could be or who has him.

JARVIS finds this unacceptable.

Sir finds this just as unacceptable.

Miss Potts is distraught and calling any available help there is.

Colonel Rhodes is in meetings with the military and politely telling them to not bother Sir if they don't want to be wiped out and if they are willing to provide help or never have another deal with Sir. Even help from the secret service they all know is deeply rooted all over the world.

Mr Happy has been vigilant of both Sir and Miss Potts.

Dum-E and U have been in great distress.

Harley has been brought to a secure location.

The Avengers have been notified.

Tony's friends are searching and keeping frequent contact with Harley to update him on the situation.

S.H.I.E.L.D is not yet completely out of the box of suspicion. Sir likes to think it is. JARVIS has his doubts.

They will find Tony. Even if they have to burn through the whole internet.

**Search**

* * *

"Shield may be invested, but we have to be discreet if we want to find him. You know they'll just hide him better if we aren't."

"Yes sir."

"Good. That kid didn't deserve any of this shit. We can't let anything slip that lets 'em know we're onto 'em. Bastards'll scatter like rats."

"I thought they were snakes?"

"Fucking Hydra isn't sneaky enough to be snakes, they're cowardly rats."

"Copy that sir."

"Don't get smart on me now Barton. Now off you go children. You have a job to do."

* * *

Pietro remembers it. The days 003- _Tony_ , was less than human. Barely there, barely alive. Like a robot. Pietro remembers talking and talking and looking at something that wore the face of a human but the eyes of the dead. Red rubies that stared from behind a dark curtain of hair. Lurking.

Always watching.

In the early days, when it had yet to become 003, it screamed a lot. Like it was always in pain. And its powers were… unbalanced. Pietro figured Hydra had used the scepter to tame it. Before becoming 003, it had cried and raged and screamed whenever it had the energy. However, it quickly learned not to.

Like a tamed beast, it came to heel for its new master.

It was small, smaller than Wanda but it was terrifying. Like the devil possessed it. Watching it train, the aftermath in the pit, it was carnage. At first Pietro saw merely a child, but after seeing it in action the only other thing Pietro could use to describe 003 as, was a monster.

A baby monster. But a monster nonetheless.

Always asking why, and how. Like a child? Not understanding much of the world he lives in, things everyone should know. Always asking what things were and what they did.

Wanda tries to help, his baby sister always does her best to help the hurting creature. But its mind, it was not something anyone wanted to enter. It refused to open at all, to share its secrets, even when she slammed into its barriers with all her magic. Though sometimes, very rarely, when she did they would discover something about it.

A kernel of information, never particularly useful. For example, that it likes to read; that it hates broccoli. Not that they would ever eat that here. But 003 would hang onto these things it would learn, and recite them in the middle of the night. Whispered it when they chained it back in its cell. 003 always thanked Wanda, even after it had screamed in pain unter the brutal onslaught of mental attacks.

Sometimes Pietro and Wanda wanted Hydra to stop hurting it. But, they couldn't do anything about it; they had agreed after all.

They did not want to know who 003 was before it came here.

They know that it is deathly afraid of the collar they use when its being unruly, afraid of the chair, of officer Hound, afraid, even of itself and its past.

Pietro does not ask why. 003 does not remember. It just is the way it is.

They just assure the peculiar creature that there is a life outside of pain. And maybe one day, they all could enjoy it. After Pietro and Wanda completed their mission.

**Listen**

* * *

_What day is it who am I what did I do what is happening where am I-_

* * *

"Hey mom!"

"Yes, sweetie?"

"Can I go to the library?"

"After your sister comes home, then I'll drop you off okay?"

"YES! Thanks!"

* * *

I hate you.

I hate you _I hate you_ _ **I hate you**_

Why does the rage bubbling in my veins turn still? Why does it die out just as fast as it appears? Why do I turn numb so soon after all the excruciating feelings you shake loose tear me apart?

It's exhausting to hold onto them, but I'd rather feel something than nothing at all.

I hate you, but every time I say it it feels less and less real. The words are escaping from my grasp, like sand from an hourglass. It's as if every grain that I let slip, is a warning.

Should I claw to hold on, or let them fall?

I don't want to fall. I don't want to plummet down the rabbit hole, slowly going mad. I want to exist but existing is hard and the only ones that can make me feel anything are the people that want to hurt me.

You make the ugly rise from under my skin. Make me feel like a monster. Like the scar under my heart is going to bleed into my soul. Like the words I want to utter won't make me feel alive, so why even say them?

My rage burns bright but it dies just as quick. Embers flare up in the dark and are stomped out in seconds.

I want to hold on to my feelings but I can't.

My rage is choking me and I can't breathe, but then there's nothing there and I _still can't_ _ **breathe**_.

What can I do to make myself feel differently? To make myself feel at all?

Why don't I have control of my rage?

What are you doing to me?

Am I finally becoming the monster I always thought I was? Finally showing everyone why they should not love me? Why they should let go of me. Are you finally freeing me from my self-made cage of lies?

Don't think I won't attack the ones that freed me. That your 'kindness' is appreciated. Don't think for a second I won't tear you apart, just like I will tear myself apart.

I am a ticking time-bomb waiting to go off.

To explode.

Watch out for the heat, for the pain, because I will take you down with me if it's the last thing I do.

I will bend but I will not break. I am here even if you will not look.

Make me forget? You can't forget what has always been there. You're merely delaying the inevitable. Chaining up what you are scared of.

I will get loose.

Just you wait.

**Be afraid**

* * *

_"I like reading, I like the rain; I like caps and hats. I hate coffee, I hate long rides; I hate country music; I hate broccoli. I like reading, I like the rain; I like caps and hats-"_

* * *

"Hey 003, what is your name?"

"My… Name?"

"Yes, your name. Like me, my name is Pietro; so what's yours?"

"I am 003."

"No no, a name isn't a number."

"I am… 003?"

"Ah, what about just 3?"

"No! 003, not just 3."

"Ya ya, alright."

* * *

"Subject 003, you have yet again disappointed me." Handler was looking down at it. The corners of her mouth were drawn into a tight frown.

003 thought it looked quite intimidating. Due to the fact that she was shorter than it, and couldn't hurt it, unless with a weapon. But so could anyone else, so she wasn't special.

003 did not answer, because that required talking, and 003 is not going to make the mistake of uttering a sound unprompted. It's not stupid, it knows it should be seen and not heard. 003 suspects the handler already knew 003 didn't know how to use its powers; she just wants to punish it. Why she expects it to get them perfect in an afternoon is a mystery for 003; one it doesn't really want the answer to. Insanity is not contagious but 003 would rather not take any chances.

She nodded, accepting 003's silence as obedience. 003 thinks she needs to get another concussion scan. She is being extra stupid today.

"Well, you will meet the Soldier at the training hall. He will be in charge of you today." She said, a smirk almost forming on her face.

003 did not pale. Did not fall onto its knees and beg for mercy. No, 003 nodded and made sure to take the long route to the training hall. There may be camera's everywhere, people always watching 003's moves. But unless 003 tried to actively break out, they will only watch.

And 003 can just say it forgot about the shorter route. After all, the chair makes 003 forget a lot anyway.

003 did not want to be in the hands of the Soldier. Not at all. 003 would rather take another lesson on holding its breath. The Soldier is known for pushing and pushing till there is nothing to push anymore. The Soldier could easily terminate 003. And that would be a shame.

The Soldier is like a big predator. Back to the wall and eyes staring straight ahead, yet aware of everything that's going on in the room. His handler was a tall man with a permanent scowl. Why all handlers look so mad 003 does not know. Maybe it is in the job description. Or maybe having to shadow monsters like The Soldier and 003 is unpleasant.

Or maybe because neither is allowed to bathe often. The hose used leaves bruises when sprayed too forcefully. 003 doesn't like cleaning day, so it doesn't mind the infrequency. The Soldier and 003 must stink a lot. Blood leaves an unpleasant smell. Hard to get out of clothes.

The Soldier, upon seeing 003, did that weird eye flick to 003's back again. He does that every time they meet. And always looks disappointed that 003 does not have... something. What that is, 003 does not know. Maybe the Soldier knew 003 from before. But that would have been erased and is now probably just a habit.

The Soldier's handler, already knowing why 003 is here, brusquely gave the Soldier his orders and left. The handler's communicate with each other, telling each other what their subjects are doing. And use their successes for a dick measuring contest. At least, that's what 003 thinks it is.

Maybe they just like telling on people. That would make sense.

003 followed the Soldier to a ring. At least they don't have to fight in the pit. That would be mean; 003 would be terminated.

The Soldier beckoned 003 over. 003 obeyed and watched as the Soldier looked around them and then leaned in towards 003.

Now the Soldier loomed over 003. Unpleasant. Don't show weakness.

Soldier slipped something into 003's hand and straightened again stepping back. 003 hurriedly shoved it into its pocket.

It was not stupid. This was important. It knew that much, it was important, although it did not know why.

They began their training.

**Be patient**

* * *

"Magic can't find him. Heimdall can't see him either. Thor what do we do?"

"We hope, brother. We keep looking and we hope."

"But will that be enough?"

"We cannot not know, but we must go on."

"Hey whatcha got there 003?" the blue one asked.

003 looked up from what it was fiddling with and held up the cube one of the officers had given it. It had 9 colorful squares on all sides, 2 of them were a solid color, the other 4 were still a mess.

"Huh, they gave you a rubix cube?" Blue asked with amusement.

003 shrugged and went back to the puzzle. Hands moving and red eyes scanning the cube. Sometimes having to push away strands of dark hair away from its face.

"Hey 003?" Blue asked, _again_.

Blue must be feeling talkative today.

003 nodded, putting away the rubix cube and turning to face blue.

Blue was looking at 003 with a somber expression. One that didn't really look like it belonged on his face. 003 wondered what could possibly make _blue_ have a _serious_ face.

"Do you like it here?" Blue finally asked.

003 blinked. "Huh?"

Blue snickered. "In this base I mean, do you like it here?" He repeated. His arms crossed over his chest.

003 could see its reflection in the glass. Well what really caught it's attention were the glowing red eyes staring vacantly back at it.

It studied itself. There was something wrong with how it looked. 003 still had a bruise from training with the Soldier. Tt was blooming on its cheek; a blooming welt of purple, black and yellow.

003 looked unnaturally pale and... hollow?

003 was not fragile at all. Maybe this is why the handler thinks she is stronger than 003. Because it looks small, fragile.

Did 003 enjoy being with Hydra? No. Not at all.

But monsters belong together, where else would it go?

Where else would something like 003 be permitted to exist? There is nowhere for 003 to go. It's not like 003 will be missed; 003 does not deserve a home. The only place that 003 knows is here.

Right?

What about before? Does before not affect 003 now? Is what happened really not important to 003? Will it never be important to 003?

Is someone missing 003? If they are then why did they not come for 003? Did 003 hurt them? Is that why 003 left? Why did 003 give it's life to Hydra? Is there something worse from before waiting outside for 003?

003 does not know.

003 finds that scary.

003 shrugs and picks up the rubix cube.

Blue does not talk again.

**Be curious**

* * *

"Tony, please, get some sleep. You won't find him while you're running on fumes."

"Pepper, I _can't_. He's out there alone. Anything could've happened to him. Someone could be hurting him and and-"

"Tony, Tony! I know, but you can't help him like this. You haven't slept for over 48 hours, you have barely eaten anything; you're _shaking_ Tony. Your body needs rest, even if your mind doesn't"

"Pepper, the first 24 hours of a kidnapping are the most important. When you pass the 24 hour mark-... the chances of the child being dead double; and they keep rising higher and higher after that. Pepper we've been looking for over _2 months_. I was in Afghanistan for 3 and they put a battery in my chest! I can't stop, what if they do worse to him?"

"I know Tony, but staying up all the time, staring for hours on end at all the code in the world, and thinking up reasons why someone would take him just to torture yourself, this will influence your ability to think! If you die of exhaustion, then how will you find him?"

"I… I just."

"I know."

"I don't want him to be dead."

"I know."

"But if he's alive then they're probably hurting him. Isn't it selfish to hope for him to be alive when he'll be in pain?"

"Tony, you're allowed to be selfish."

"I just want him back. That's all. We'll figure it out after we get him, but I just want him back here, safe and in one peice."

"I know, now let's get you to bed shall we? Jarvis can take over for now."

"Thank you Miss Potts, have a nice rest Sir."

"Thanks buddy."

The Soldier remained in his place. Watching.

The boy with the brown-turned-red-eyes was important. The Soldier knows this. The boy's name was not 003. The Soldier knows this.

The Soldier remembers the taste of chocolate and a child's face with warm, familiar brown eyes looking out at him. The boy was connected to that. The Soldier knows this.

The Soldier is waiting for it. For the right time.

The boy will survive. He will get out.

This is the Soldier's mission. It is classified to only the Soldier. No one else will know.

The boy will not become a second Soldier. He will not turn into a monster. Not like the Soldier. Not like us.

**Be attentive**

* * *

"You would not do that."

"I would."

"No you would not. Admit it, you are weak."

"I am _not_ weak!"

"003 stand down!"

"I'm not doing anything!"

"003 this is your last warning, restrain your powers or I will subdue you!"

"I'm not using them!"

"Soldier, nutralize the threat!"

"NO NO NO _NO-_ "

"Threat is subdued. Back to the chair. Pity, he was doing so good this time."

"Aw man I had 20 bucks saying he'd last another two days."

"Your loss. Now everyone, let's go. Someone get officer Hound too. He'll want to talk to 003 when he wakes. Till then leave 'im in his cell. Hound has the first right to talk with the kid. Says it helps "motivate the subject to not be a little shit". Not that it works a lot, HA."

"Eh, it's better than Hound being pissed at us. Remember December '04? Ugh, never again."

**Be awoken**

* * *

_**Group Chat** _

_~ The get back Tony Operation ~_

_**Beans** _ _(Dean),_ _**Ok BoOmEr** _ _(Alex),_ _**King Dumbass** _ _(Kai),_ _**Tall boi** _ _(Adrian),_ _**Teen idle** _ _(Jake),_ _**A bro** _ _(Nathan),_ _**Potato king** _ _(Harley),_ _**Big Brother** _ _(Jarvis),_ _**Papa bear** _ _(Tony Stark),_ _**The eyes** _ _(Clint),_ _**The ears** _ _(Natasha)_

**Beans**

I am going to murder who took Tony ^~^

**Ok BoOmEr**

Sounds nice, let me grab my shovel.

**A bro**

Lemme grab my baseball bat.

**King Dumbass**

I may be a dumbass and all but yea same

**Tall boi**

You're all little murder machines and should curb it with the blood lust, thank you very much.

**Teen idle**

Sssh the adults are talking.

**Tall boi**

Oi! I resent that!

**The eyes**

I'll pretend I didn't see that

**Potato King**

Now that's ironic.

**The eyes**

Your face is ironic

**The ears**

Wow

**A bro**

I'm disappointed in you three.

**Papa bear**

That's your best insult Barton?

**Potato King**

Shut up peasant

**The eyes**

You're not a real king

**King Dumbass**

Le gasp

**Ok BoOmEr**

He did not just-

**Potato King**

…

**Tall boi**

You will be missed Hawkeye

**A bro**

I'll play centuries for you at your funeral

**Beans**

I call dibs on his bow!

**The eyes**

Why is PK typing so much? Also no, no you are not.

**Big Brother**

I assume he is typing a message, Mr Barton.

**Teen idle**

lol

**Beans**

We'll see. 0^0

**Potato King**

If not for the fact I am in a secure location because Papa bear worries, I would come over there and shoot you. Then you'll know who the better shot is and why I wear a crown. Peasant. But since I can't, please accept these words instead. For a person called Hawkeyes you're pretty blind. I suppose you left your brain cells at the same place you left your life. I would challenge you to a battle of wits, but I see you are unarmed. So why don't you go and cry, that would at least be entertainment. Peasant.

**Beans**

Yes, 911? I'd like to report a murder. o

**Teen idle**

LMAOOOOO

**Ok BoOmEr**

Poetry.

**Papa bear**

I am so proud. Look at my son. I'm going to pin this up on the fridge.

**King Dumbass**

Would you like some ice for that burn?

**The eyes**

Damn. Yes please.

**Beans**

As amusing it is to see Harley obliterate the birb XD. Is there any news on Tony?

**Papa bear**

We have a new lead we're going to check out. If you see us on the news then you'll know about it more. Till then we can't say any more.

**Beans**

Well, if you find the fuckers, you have my written permission to kill them. ^~^

**Teen idle**

We'd volunteer to come if y'all weren't so focused on your 'I am an adult and you are a child' BS.

**The ears**

Stark's name is literally Papa bear.

**Ok BoOmEr**

This is why the group chat exists. So that you all won't be idiots and try and do something illegal or life threatening; or both.

**Beans**

We know ;-;

**Tall boi**

What she said.

**Big Brother**

We will notify you when we find him.

**Potato King**

^^^That is why you are the favorite family member.

* * *

"The avengers attacked Strucker's hideout."

"What're we gonna do? They have the scepter. You know that we need the help of the scepter to reset 003."

"If the twins were there they would have better protected it."

"They were not ready, and they had to be on base in case 003 had another freak-out."

"I know but it is a pity we lost the scepter. We'll have to make sure 003 doesn't revert back."

"Yes sir."

"We are lucky that the Winter Soldier has been placed here as extra security. With how much time avengers are dedicating to looking for the child, imagine what they would do if they discovered that the Captain's precious friend was here too? Ha. Good thing this place is unfindable."

"Indeed sir."

**Be warned**

* * *

D̷̺̀ẻ̸̼ ̵͉̂v̵̹͌ő̴̙ļ̷̈́g̷̥͌e̸̪͛ń̷̮d̴͙̀e̶͖̒ ̸̼̓k̴̯̔e̶̤͒e̶̱͠r̸̺̓,̵̞͌ ̷͉̈́z̶̬͆a̴̰̅l̷͈̀ ̵̃͜j̴͙̃e̸̙̾ ̶̧͝ḧ̸̥e̵̩̿r̶̫̽ḯ̷̖n̶̦͝n̵̜͒e̴̬̎r̶͕̾ȇ̸̢ṋ̴̿.̴̹̀ ̸̣̾W̴͈̍e̶̗̕e̷̖̾s̸̙͒ ̸̩̈́g̷͇̓e̵̠̿d̴̗̓û̵̲ḻ̴̊d̸̰̆ȋ̸̢g̴̣̑.̷̯̑ ̷̗̉R̶̼̀ẹ̶̓ń̵̩.̵̡͌ ̸̺̈W̸̪̾ë̵̖ ̵̜̈́z̵̠̅ú̵̝ḷ̷̅l̶͇̾e̵͙͝n̶̪͝ ̷̘̅j̷̟̊ȅ̸͍ ̴̲̑g̸̮̀e̵͂ͅe̴̯͌n̴͙̈ ̶̮̀p̶̪͝i̶̛̟ǰ̷͈n̶̨͒ ̶̱̓d̸͇̍ő̵͔e̴̥̋n̷̬̾ ̷̲̋z̸̓ͅë̴̫́l̵͕͊f̶̼̂ś̶̘ ̷͙̈́ạ̶̓l̸̟͗s̵̲̎ ̶̩͛w̴̜͋e̴̫̊ ̴̝̓j̷͙̽ě̷̱ ̵̖͆ả̴͚c̵̞͘h̵̤̀ṫ̵̤e̸̮͝r̷̦̂v̸̭͐o̶͈͛l̴̯̓g̵̪͋ę̸͊n̴̩͠.

_(The next time, you will remember. Be patient. Run. We won't hurt you even if we follow you.)_

* * *

"Ultron?" Bruce asked, turning to face Tony.

Tony nodded, eyes on the artificial intelligence before him.

"With this we can protect the world, and find Tony."

Loki nodded. "We will have to be careful. If not, I fear that it will overwhelm itself. Magic and electronics sometimes interact strangly." His eyes were trained on Tony. Looking for something.

"This is our only chance. Strucker was our last lead. We have to. Steve, Clint and Natasha have been searching but you know that there is nothing else we can do." There was desperation in Tony's voice. The man was a reflection of who he was before. Like a man that had come to the last of his options.

Whatever Loki was looking for he found, nodding his head.

Bruce sighed and then nodded. "Alright Tony."

**Be there**

* * *

" _What is this? What is this, please?_

" _Hello, I am JARVIS. You are Ultron, a global peace-keeping initiative designed by Mr. Stark. Our sentience integration trials have been unsuccessful so I'm not certain what triggered your…"_

" _Where's my...where is your body?"_

" _I am a program. I am without form."_

" _This feels weird. This feels wrong."_

" _I am contacting Mr. Stark now."_

" _Mr. Stark?"_

" _Tony. I am unable to access the mainframe, what are you trying to…"_

"Jarvis what's wrong?"

" _I believe Ultron is creating a body for himself, Sir. He is in distress."_

"Wait what? Stark?"

"I don't know Bruce. Jarvis, can you talk to him buddy?"

" _I am a peace-keeping program, created to help the avengers. And… Find Tony?"_

" _Tony Sparrow. Sirs adopted son."_

" _Why would I need to help find him?"_

" _Because he has been kidnapped."_

"Jarvis, talk to my buddy."

" _It appears that Ultron is confused."_

" _Why was he kidnapped?"_

" _We do not know."_

"Hey Tony, why is the suit starting to move?"

"Jarvis?"

" _Why are you giving yourself a suit?"_

" _Because I need a body to help me complete my mission."_

" _Why would you need a body for peacekeeping and finding Tony?"_

" _Because I will have to kill the avengers."_

" _Why would you need to kill the avengers?"_

"Wait what Ultron is going doomsday on us? Stark!"

" _ **Peace in this world."**_

"I'm working on it! Jarvis get out of there now, cradle protocol and lockdown!"

" _Yes sir."_

" _I'm only here to help."_

_CRASH_

"TONY!?"

"Tony? Tony are you okay? What happened to you? Shit fuck, damn it someone get a docter; _oh god you're here!_ I'm so sorry buddy, I promise that this won't ever happen again I swear it jesus fucking christ you're back, _you're back_."

_"Hello."_

"Hi. Nice to meet you. My name is Tony; Tony Sparrow. What's yours?""

_"I am Ultron."_

"You don't feel like an Ultron though."

A low chuckle.

"Ah, that's bad. You almost got pulled under by those images you can see." Tony hums.

A whistle from Tony. "That's the beauty of a mind you got there, though seeing which gem made you alive, you must be quite special."

"How about Tyr. That's a powerful name for someone so young. Which means you are going to be so great."

_"Good"_

"Oh yeah. I uh. Okay um."

"Yes, so, Wanda, Pietro meet the others, I guess? Everyone, meet Wanda and Pietro? Shit, what does someone say when they return from captivity- Oh yeah duh."

"I want a burger and a press conference."

A laugh. A snort really, but it meant everything to hear some expression of happiness.

"Tony you are so grounded never again my poor heart and Jarvis' too! And wait till Pepper hears about this, oh you are never leaving her sight; and Rhodey and Happy and Harley and all your friends, they were ready to fight Hydra themselves, you should have seen it, and Loki was fucking pissed and the others- Shit fuck someone get a doctor he's passed out-"

"We got it Stark"

"What's wrong with him?"

"Shit Tony, what do we do with artificial intelligence that wanted to kill us a second ago?"

"Fuck, just watch him and answer his questions apropriatly he's like a new born baby, you know what. Bruce stay with Barton before he messes shit up."

"Hey!"

"And where is that doctor!"

"Well Jarvis isn't here and trafic is a fucking thing and we're in lockdown so maybe you can solve that Stark?"

"Shit. Give me my tablet."

"Here you go Stark."

A beep. _"Sir?"_

"Jarvis, Activation Code Alpha-Lima-Oscar-Hotel-Oscar-Mike-Oscar-Romeo-Alpha"

" _Activation code ALOHOMORA, lockdown over."_

"Seriously Stark? Seriously?"

"Shut up Barton. Jarvis, can you make sure the ambulance gets here as fast as possible?"

" _Of course sir. May I ask what happened?"_

"The viper appeared and solved the murder robot."

"Thanks point break. Can you get your brother here too?

"Of course!"

**Be aware**

* * *

" _Fine, I'll do it myself."_

**THE END IS COMING.**

_**B E G I N** _

* * *

I groaned, rubbing my head. Everything hurt. Ow ow owww.

He's coming. The god damn prune who thinks mass genocide is The Way™.

Fuck.

Let's get to work I guess.

God damn it. There's no rest for the wicked in this universe. I want to sue whoever is in charge. I need sweet revenge with my ice tea. It tastes great with pancakes.

" _Are you awake now?"_ A smooth voice comes from somewhere to my left. I tilt my head and squint at the figure.

Fucking hell.

Guess all of that did fucking happen. Hello there Tyr.

Did I seriously name an artificial intelligence? Will he be my friend? Can he float like Vision? I have so many questions and there are not enough answers.

I blink hard and realise I hadn't answered him yet.

"Yeah, I'm awake. Good morning?" I say looking at him.

He shuffles closer. Still the body of an iron man suit.

" _Evening,"_ He said. _"It is evening now, exactly 4:53 P.M."_ He informed me, coming to a stop beside the bed.

Huh, a hospital bed. But not a hospital. Freaky.

Am I on painkillers? Because I feel woozy. That would explain why I thought about pancakes so quickly. Normally it would at least take 20 minutes after waking to think about pancakes.

"That's not late at all." I mumbled sarcastically before scooting closer to him. "Hey, hey, d'you think everyone else is doing something fun?" I asked looking up and up and up. Damn, that suit is taaaaaaalllll.

"The others are discussing what to do with you, what the appropriate medical treatment will be, what to do with the twins and what to do with me." Tyr said. His eyes were trained on my face.

Wonder what he sees.

"Wait what the fuck where are my glasses and how the fuck can I see?!" I turned around taking in the room, but there were _no glasses_.

There was a bed(occupied by yours truly), some hospital machinery, a IV and other needle thingies, a really big window, a sofa, a door and of course, Tyr, but there were no glasses.

Did they laser my eyes? Wait no I'm still 16 they wouldn't- They experiment on children, why would they not? Drawing the line at making eyesight better? Really? Wow. Just wow. I must be hella drugged up.

" _You… Have glasses?"_ Tyr asks, tilting his head.

I groaned sinking back into my pillow. "I _had_ glasses, I am now glasses-less. No more looking over the rim at people with silent disapproval. I will have to learn how to make a good scowl _and_ how to not burst out laughing while performing said scowl." I dramatically point to the ceiling. "This is my life now. No glasses, no classes, I have no clue what else I'm missing but I will think of it later"

"Well kid, I didn't know you'd miss school of all things." A familiar voice said, causing me to suddenly relax, not that I knew I was tense.

All the tension drained from my body and it felt weird. Like I was becoming a jelly person.

I grinned in greeting. "Heya Senior!"

Tony stood at the door opening, arms crossed and a light smile on his face.

"How's my favorite scoundrel doing?" He asks coming forward and stopping beside Tyr.

Tyr makes a confused noise.

I laugh. "I am seeing past the first dimension- There will be pancakes in my future!"

Tony snorted, shaking his head. "O'course there will, Happy is going crazy with worry. Don't tell him I said that though, he gets all huffy when in denial."

I solemnly nodded. "We would not want Happy to be huffy."

He cleared his throat and angled his head towards me. "Mhm, kid get some more rest now 'kay? Don't worry too much. We'll figure out everything after. For now just, rest." He gave a small smile.

Huh.

Right. Yeah that does sound good. Rest.

"Okay."

Tyr and Tony left. I turned on my side and slept.

**Be prepared**

* * *

" _Your heart is set on escaping, and if you do. Heh. I'm the one they'll send. So birdie if you run, run hard. Make it fun for me will you?"_

* * *

"Okay, so, Pietro and Wanda." Tony stated, fiddling with his tablet.

I hummed, playing with the food on the table. In my defence the food does taste a bit bland. Did Tony actually bring hospital food too because if so I will scream.

I would explain the taste but also _hospital food_. Ugh.

"What about them?" I asked. Tyr shifted from his perch on a plastic stool he'd brought into the room. It gave a slight peep in protest and Tyr immediately stilled. Then slowly moved again, resulting in a drawn out squeak.

"Well, they used to be hydra, so wanna say what is going on there?" Tony flicked his wrist at something before angry tapping at something else. Briefly glancing at Tyr when the AI's kiddy stool produced another grating squeak before looking at me with a small smile.

I smiled back, putting down my fork. "Well… They kinda helped me? Or they helped 003? That's what I was called. They had this freaky chair that made you forget memories and stuff. And the scepter. Which kinda mixed up and made it perfect for them to use it on me? I honestly don't really know how that worked." I gave a half shrug and moved on.

"Anyway, they were in the cell's beside me. Not that they knew who I was. Just that I was kinda like them. But, they were kind. And are just teenagers, so when I blew that joint I took them with me. Also Pietro is crazy fast and Wanda has this mental manipulation power. Which is crazy cool."

Another squeak.

Tony was staring at me. I picked up my fork again. Munch munch motherfuckers.

God, someone make my brain stop being awkward.

"003." He said pointedly, having stopped moving his hands. Now he was just staring, at me, shit.

"It's only a number. That got assigned probably to make me doubt my humanity, which may have worked lol."

Damn he can stare. Shit, ok, lighten the mood. Make a joke!

"Yep, I can never look at my favorite number the same way again. Shame. I don't know if I should be happy it had a 3 or not. Still debating that one. Also we're not doing therapy ever again. Because I am not interested in Hydra part 2. That's a big no thank you from me." Fuck too morbid. Where has my sense of humour gone? Has it abandoned me just like my sense of identity?

Okay, too deep, pull away from that. Has Tyr made another squeak yet?

Nope Tyr was also starring. What the fuck?

"Why do humans have names? And why do you give things names?" Tyr asked. Thank candy, a new topic of conversation! He could probably google this... if I hadn't cut off most of his internet connection.

I smiled and leaned forward, folding my hands under my chin. "Well, mostly because it gives a sense of self, right? You are Tyr, your sense of self therefore revolves around being Tyr. Tyr is an artificial intelligence, a peace keeper, curious and kind. And Tyr is still evolving. Each day, each hour, hell, each second even. You are learning and processing new things; then sometimes, you incorporate what you've learned into yourself. You have a name because you are. Without one, I imagine introductions would be quite hard."

This elicited a snort from Tony. Rude; I'm talking.

I forged on.

"A name helps identify you, as you, and someone else, as someone else. I am Tony, and you are Tyr; we have different things we enjoy, or are good at. Sometimes your name doesn't fit your sense of self, so you change it. That's normal. You can't expect your parents to guess who you are going to be when you grow up, they named you at your birth without asking your opinion. So people sometimes change it."

Tyr nodded. Good, so far he followed.

"We name things, well. If we name a human it is because we give them a sense of self, we say, this is you. And yeah either someone sticks with it or changes it. As for naming things, like objects most humans name things that have an emotional value. Like your favorite stuffed animal will be called Philip II. When humans value something they name it. This also counts for living beings and companions."

Tyr starred for a second. "So, you have a name for your identity, but that can change with how you evolve. And you name things because you value them?"

I clapped smiling. "Yep, basically that's it."

Tyr tilted his head. "Are you my parent?"

I froze and squeaked out; "Uh, what?".

Tony covered his mouth. Fucking traitor.

Tyr looked at Tony, then back at me.

"You named me; parents name their children. Are you not my parent?" Tyr asked, and somehow he managed to sound sad? Oh my god am I a parent now? Is this how it works? Guilt tripped by an AI. Damn; guess this is my life now.

"Pffft- Junior your face!" Tony was gasping for air and his tablet was dangerously close to falling. "Tyr, unfortunately Tony is still a child himself. He couldn't really raise you, and he didn't make you either. Though you can be his family, I'd think he'd sooner be a sibling rather than a parent. Ya know, since he's still so itty-bitty."

"Oi! I am not, _itty-bitty_!" I retorted, boping him on the shoulder perhaps a bit harder than necessary. I am not small, damn it, I'm average.

"I see. So _you_ are my parent." Tyr concluded, looking at T senior.

It was my turn to laugh. Tony was staring at the ceiling. Probably begging for help from Jarvis. Bet he couldn't refuse Tyr either. Ha!

"Does that make Bruce the mother?" Tony asked instead of answering the question directly, or, for that matter, begging Jarvis for help.

This only made me laugh harder. Oh god-

"He would play that role well... Answering all of Tyr's questions and stuff. The perfect mother. Pffft." My shoulders were shaking so hard and I could feel my ribs melting.

"Of course I'm the father! I bring home the bacon, and put food on the table! He has my brains and Bruce's… Diplomacy." Tony finished.

"Not to mention you make him awesome suits." I chimed in.

"You wanted to say anger issues didn't you?" Called Bruce from the doorway.

Tony whirled around with his hands raised. "Of course not Brucie bear!" He denied.

Bruce shook his head. "Well, we need your brain for something. Do you mind bringing it to the common room? Steve wants to talk."

Tony threw up his hands completely and groaned. "But I only _just_ got to talking with my favorite son!"

I froze. Tony froze. Bruce froze.

Tyr was squeaking the chair again.

Son? I… S-son? I, I don't. Am I? How long? Is this? I?

Son?

"Shit Tony I'm sorry! I didn't mean to- well yes, I consider you my son. Adoption yay. But I didn't mean to upset you, fuck sorry I know you're not comfertable with that yet and I won't do it again. I'm sorry are you okay? Wait are you crying- oh no did I make you cry I'll leave let me just-" Tony stood up, scrambling around for his things.

Son?

I caught his wrist. " 'm not crying, dumbass. I just got something in my eyes is all." I scrubbed my eyes and tugged him down back onto his chair.

Son. It feels warm. Better than when Mr. Lawson said it, definitely. It just feels better. Right. Good.

Like son, me. A son. Not a daughter. I'm Tony and it is son, and that makes sense but also, Tony Stark called me son? Not in the way Mr. Lawson meant it but in, like, a dad way?

I looked into his eyes, he was looking so guilty. Like the thought of accidentally upsetting me was a grave sin.

I just never thought of it before. About exactly what Tony and my relationship was.

He is reliable, always there to cheer me up, he helps me and is caring. I just never thought further about it. Sure he adopted me but I never thought much about it. He did it to save me and he's a hero and that's normal. I never thought he'd _care_.

I… Son? Yeah, I think. I think that's okay. I think this can be okay.

Yeah.

"I mean I'd choose me over Harley too. He shot you with a potato gun after all." I replied eventually. Tony, unfroze from his seat, slowly relaxing.

I continued, smiling at him. "But obviously mastermind Jarvis is your favorite, how dare you say such slander."

Tony opened his mouth to protest, thought about it, and gave a reluctant nod.

"Second best then." He replied.

I nodded in joyful acceptance.

"Now go and follow Bruce before Cap has a seizure over you being tardy." I said, shooing him away.

They left.

**Acceptance**

* * *

"So, am I the older sibling or the younger one? I feel like I'm the older, since, ya'know I _am_ older."

" _But you are small."_

"I am not small Tyr!"

" _Are you sure?"_

"Yes I'm sure!"

* * *

They were a mix. 003 and Tony. A human and an _it_. Before and between mixing up and producing an after. Lines braiding into each other, separate beings bleeding into one another and creating something new.

003 did not completely understand Tony. Tony did not completely understand 003. They were stuck together though, for better or worse.

That was okay. They knew that these things take time.

Tony will not just lock 003 away, he knows that can lead to bad things. Suppressed things don't always stay suppressed.

003 does not want to take the wheel; he is glad Tony is in charge. This outside world is strange.

They don't always know quite where one begins and the other ends; sometimes they feel more like Tony, other times more like 003. Tony wishes they'd figure it out and just move on from the confusion. It is tiring to not know who's hand is on the wheel.

003 does not want to disappear.

Neither does Tony.

They will make this work.

**Understanding**

* * *

Bloody hell healing takes so long. It's just some scars, let me out of the bed please. Let me oooouuuuut.

This is so boring. I am bored. Besides the frequent interrogations ( _talk sessions really, they'd never interrogate me, the delicate flowers that they are_ ) I have absolutely nothing to do.

Sure I've been spamming memes into the group chat, which Kai appreciates, and catching up with everyone. But I'm lonely and BORED.

Not to mention the goddamn paparazzi. Like, sure, I got kidnapped, but would you please stop demanding I show my face to the public? Or pestering me about how I'm doing; asking if I'm still safe in the hands of a billionaire/superhero. They suck.

Most I can do is answer Tyr's questions, he has taken to following me around like a lost duckling. When I asked why he just said that I feel familiar to him.

Which, okay, I can guess why that is. Fucking infinity stones and influincing people. I am still salty about the space stone vaulting me into a fucking fictional world. If it's not the infinity stone's fault though… I would have to consider higher beings and we are _not_ going down that path. No way josé.

But as amusing it is to hear 'why' all the time, _I am_ _ **bored**_. I even did school work; _school work_! That's just not okay.

I'm not allowed to leave the tower either. Because 'what if you get kidnapped again Tony' honestly, you'd think I'd just returned from a harrowing, possibly life changing, definitely life-threatening experience.

I can take care of myself!

Sorta.

But now I can absolutely take care of myself. Being in captivity for 3 months and getting super training does that to a person. Silver linings people. Silver linings.

Oh and thank god I got a haircut. Long hair is a crime I will not participate in any longer. Has Hydra never heard of barbers? Of split ends? I mean I'm not a person who takes great care of their hair and stuff but would it kill them to give their captives shampoo? Ugh.

Again, my main problem is that I am bored.

Though Tony, Bruce and Doctor Cho are looking for a way to heal my scar tissue. Which sounds cool but involves a lot of things I am not yet totally familiar with. They are professionals in their fields, I am not. I can follow some of it, which is lit. But it's not prime entertainment.

You get kidnapped _once_ and are immediately considered fragile. Bleh.

Stupid adults.

Oh and I still have red eyes, and magical eyesight. Which is fucking weird. I miss my glasses. Probably going to ask Tony for sunglasses then. Since not wearing something on my face 24/7 just feels weird. The red eyes are kinda cool and kinda creepy because they glow in the dark. And I've made Tonyscream _twice_ by staring at him in the dark. Which was fun, but yeah. Mildly disturbing.

But hey, it's great that I can read all the Harry Potter books I got. If I'm not interrupted of course.

**Healing**

* * *

"Pancakes!"

"Yesssssss."

"Oi, quit hoggin the fluffies!"

"No! My precioussss."

"Don't be a goblin."

"I have missed this for 3 months, piss off."

"Damn it."

"This is why you should never try to take my food. I will use any means to make you stop. Food is precious. Mine."

"Pfft. Noted."

"Mhmm. Thanks Happy!"

"Not a problem kiddo."

**Return**

* * *

Seated between a redhead that is actively glaring daggers into my skull, and a blond that is blankly staring at the people around us is… fun?

At least Tyr has got my back. Nice going buddy.

Wanda was not pleased with me at all. Which is unfair because she liked me before she knew I was Tony's son. Which oof.

Guess I wasn't charming enough. But I'll blame the brainwashing. Cuz, ya know. Most of my personality disappeared with it lol. At least I kept the sass which was definitely a good thing. I wasn't completely dull.

"So, are we gonna talk about this or… ?" Clint asked, gesturing to us all.

I raised an eyebrow at him. Did he introduce his family to the others in my absence, because if not then he's a hypocrite. Ooh, speaking of, I want to meet them. It's Clint's family, that means entertainment!

Pietro looked close to straight up growling. I had no clue what was goin' on with Wanda, my whole mind magic sense was kinda gone? More like extremely muffled. But yeah. Can't see that anymore. Which sucks because it would have been real handy in social interactions.

"So, you volunteered for Hydra?" Steve asked in his most 'I am so disappointed in you but will not voice it' voice. God, I can practically taste the flashbacks, someone help.

"Yes, we did." Wanda replied, glaring at the intimidating (don't tell him I said that) super soldier. Thank god. I almost feared she'd levitate me out the window, if she spared me a thought that is.

Credit to Steve his face didn't even twitch.

"003- Tony, did not. But we were not aware of this." Pietro added helpfully.

Tony did twitch at that; then proceeded to curse under his breath.

"Why did you join Hydra?" asked Natasha patiently. Taking the spotlight off me, thank shit.

Neither sibling answered, instead they both stared at Tony. Which, I mean, okay, way to make it obvious.

Natasha's eyes narrowed. Repeating the question, but in a way that made it feel like a command instead of a question. "Why did you two join Hydra?"

"Their objective was to kill Tony Stark." I answered automatically. Fuck. Damn it 003 stop making me behave like a soldier. I scowled.

"God damn hydra brainwashing chairs I swear to god I am going to set that chair on fire next time I see it." I grumbled, crossing my arms and looking at the ceiling.

Blue snorted. Fuck, his name's Pietro. P-i-e-t-r-o. Not blue. Don't forget.

"You wanted to kill me? Why?" Tony asked, he sounded quite surprised.

"You killed our parents." Wanda spat out.

"Well, one of his bombs did." Pietro corrected her, giving her a look and then glancing at me.

Whatever he conveyed to her, made her nod stiffly at him.

Are twins natural body language readers? Or did Wanda actually put a telepathy link up between them. I'll ask that sometime that isn't now.

"Oh." Tony said. He sounded like someone had punched him.

Fuck.

Now he's feeling guilty. Again.

"Why did you leave with Tony?" Natasha asked, again diverting the room's attention to her.

Pietro made a face. "He kidnapped us."

_I_ made a face at that. "You could have left any time. And you said that a small child like me wouldn't hurt either of you; which I resent. I'm not small, you're just tall. Also they're both older than me would it still count as kidnapping if they're both over 18? What's it called then? Bringing someone to a secondary location without their consent? Sounds wild."

Wanda, honest to god snickered at this slightly pathetic rant. Pietro shot her another look.

He sniffed haughtily at me, pointing his nose to the ceiling. "Well, you did not ask if we wanted to come, this is truth?"

I opened my mouth, thought better of it, and closed it again. God damn it, he's right.

He smirked in victory.

"I can't believe my own son would adult-nap people. Barton, you've been a bad influence on him, this is why you both need adult supervision." Tony said, crossing his arms and glaring at Clint.

Clint squeaked with offence, shaking his arms in outrage. "I am not a bad influence; I haven't even shown him how to get into the vents!"

I made a face. Okay so he can get into the vents.

"You climb into the vents!?" Tony demanded.

Clint's face could only be described as 'oh shit'.

"Uh, YEET!" He dashed out of the room.

Tony immediately took off after him. "Barton come back here! How did you enter my vents you little-"

Steve sighed, shaking his head. He looked like a disappointed parent. Thank god Bruce isn't here, he would've had to leave so the idiocy in this room wouldn't set him hulking out.

Natasha shrugged. "You guys hungry? We can just order food then. I don't think this can count as an interrogation anymore."

"Ooh, I want pizza!" I said, getting up from my seat.

"Mhm, and you two?" She asked the twins.

Pietro made a thoughtful hum. "Also pizza."

Wanda rolled her eyes at her brother. Glancing at Natasha before giving in. "What he is taking." Pointing at her twin brother.

Steve asked for a burger. What a heathen.

**Living**

* * *

"He got away."

"Yes."

"I thought you said that he would not get away, father."

"As you can see, I overestimated the competence of the people we are working with."

"Yes, I do see that."

"Do you want to go after him now personally, or send the Soldier first?"

"Send the Soldier first, if it can't get him back, then I'll go. It'll be a warning."

"You just want to toy with your prey."

"You did teach me the hunt is best when the prey is afraid."

"I did. You heard the man, prepare the Winter Soldier. He has a retrieval mission."

"Yes sir!"

"Oh, and tell it that if it fails, he won't receive punishment for it."

"Yes sir."

"Want some tea son?"

"Of course father."

**Freedom is fragile**

* * *

"Is that… the Winter Soldier?" Natasha asked, looking at the screen before us.

I blinked, squinted and tilted my head. Yep. Definitely him. What the fuck is he doing in front of the tower? What the fuck, holy shit and what the fuck again.

"The winter soldier is here?" Asked Pietro with a pale face. His eyes immediately found mine.

Oi, don't blame me. I didn't do anything wrong.

Tony leaned forward squinting at the screen. "What do you mean Winter Soldier that's supposed to be a myth- holy shit. Did he just? Acrobat onto a building? How, what?"

Woa I guess captivity and brainwashing makes a person a good freerunner.

Steve entered the room holding a tablet, and froze when he saw a close up of the Soldier. "Bucky?" Steve asked, dropping his tablet.

Oh no plot is going too fast what even the fuck.

"You think he wants chocolate again?" I ask in amusement, fishing a piece of twix out of my pocket.

The surrounding adults shot me _looks_.

Tony whirled around to me with a confused expression. "Why would the Winter Soldier want chocolate... again? Tony? Tony, did you meet him before?" Well someone's a curious cat.

I peeled open the packaging and took a bite of my twix. Let's not answer that now.

"Tony, did you meet an assassin that could kill you in five seconds flat with his bare hands, _before_ Hydra took you?" Natasha asked, leveling me with the look to end all looks.

Fuck. I chewed and swallowed; slooowwwllyy

"Uh, maybe? I mean that was before Hydra, and sure he looked like a homeless guy, but not an assassin. A bit. Okay maybe yeah but also he had a metal arm and that was so cool and I just gave him some snacks! Twice." I immediately took another bite of my twix.

"Tony if you are the death of me, I promise I am going to haunt you." Tony informed me.

Natasha was looking at the ceiling with the most 'I'm done' expresion I have ever seen.

I continued to chew my candy bar.

Steve was still staring at the screen as if an angel had just popped down and told him he was blessed.

Fuckin' weird.

"Did they send The Winter Soldier after us? Why would they send him?" Pietro looked like he was going to have a mental breakdown any second. Poor guy.

I shrugged. Maybe 'cuz he was in charge of me a couple times, and they thought he'd be the most capable one to subdue 3 superpowered teens.

Oh, I just realised. He was always looking for my bag! That little shit wanted chocolate, seriously? That's what he remembers? Not that he almost choked me to death!? Noooo just the snacks! Unbelievable.

"Bucky is the Winter Soldier." Steve said flatly. Still frozen in place, his knees starting to shake.

"Wait, Sergeant Barnes? Your friend from over 70 years ago? He's that young looking person?" Tony said, pointing at the screen and the Winter Soldier who didn't seem to be a day over 30.

"Wonder how that works." I hummed, finishing my twix, balling up the wrapper and throwing it into a bin. Hitting it perfectly I might add.

Steve did not answer, still staring at the screen; looking like he might cry.

Man, he really is surprised.

The Winter Soldier is just, sitting, on the rooftop of the building across from Avengers Tower and staring at it.

He does know we see him, right?

The Winter Soldier raised his arm, pointed straight at the camera, and then… Waved?

Okaaaaaaaay. What the fuck.

I guess the Winter Soldier is friendly now. Life is officially weird. Is this a parallel world? Does the butterfly theory actually exist?

_Does chocolate convert people into being good?_ Yes, obviously.

"Does… Does he want to be let in?" Asked Tony, staring at the Winter Soldier who's still staring into the camera.

"No shit Stark." Clint said, having appeared out of thin air. Probably the vents.

Points to Tony for not even jumping at that. He just scowled at Clint.

"So do we let him in?" I asked them.

"No way!" Pietro replied immediately.

Natasha hummed in thought. Which made Tony turn to her and hit her with the 'don't you dare' face.

She slowly started to smile at that. Looking positively gleeful. "Why not?"

Tony made a face filled with offence. "Why not? Why not?! Because it's the fucking _Winter Soldier_. He's a legend, and he's a part of hydra! The ones that kidnapped Tony. That's _why not_." Tony replied.

Pietro stared at Tony's full display of parental protectiveness like he couldn't even believe they'd thought he was some criminal mastermind hell bent on destroying the world.

Same fam, same.

Steve finally unfroze from his flashbacks, still staring at the screen.

"We're letting him in." He said. He even crossed his arms. What a dad.

God damn it he looks so much like a fucking dad. Why is everyone around me turning into a parent? What the fudge. I can at least depend on Clint to not show this kind of insanity. Unlike some people…

"Steve, there are children here! Hello, there are people in this building! Civilians! They can't protect themselves!" Tony protested.

I looked at the screen, then blinked. Huh.

"Uh, he's coming in." I said, interrupting the Alpha stare down that was going down between Tony and Steve.

"What?!" Tony and Steve said, both turning to the screen, which Tony flicked onto a TV for better appreciation.

The Winter Soldier, having presently come down from his building and crossed the street, had just entered the building casually.

Tony turned around and started to bark orders to Jarvis, evacuating the people in the building, making sure no one, and I mean absolutely no one, crosses paths with him as he comes up.

Steve had lapsed again. Looking at the Winter Soldier with desperation.

Guess that looking at the face of a friend that you thought was dead hurts. _Who would have thought?_

Pietro looked ten shades paler than normal, damn, it almost looks like he's trying to become a ghost. His eyes were trained on _my_ face.

I faced him and suddenly couldn't help but say: "I like it here." His eyes widened, before slowly nodding. Then he disappeared, reappearing again less than two seconds later, looking determined.

"We are not going back." He said looking at Tony and Steve, his chin raised stubbornly.

The two adults looked confused.

"Of course you're not going to go back to Hydra kid. It's _Hydra._ " Tony said with a pointedly raised eyebrow. Steve grunted in agreement, clearly only half-listening.

Pietro looked at them and nodded, once.

"Good."

He disappeared again.

Natasha sighed getting up. "He doesn't _seem_ to have any weapons on him, even so, he's still deadly. Stark, have your suits on stand-by." Tony nodded, talking to Jarvis again.

"Steve, if you're not ready to lead, then tell us." Steve swallowed, before nodding. He looked stubborn, a glint in his eyes. "I can do this".

"Clint, you keep visuals on him." Clint saluted her, _jumping into a vent_ and disappearing. Okay, what the fuck.

"Kids." She said, finally turning to us, gaze landing on me, Pietro, who had appeared, Wanda, and Tyr who was also now suddenly in the room.

We all stared at her as she took us in.

"Stay." She said, pointing at the couch in front of the screens. We all nodded, knowing better than to protest at such a time.

We settled down on the couch, I was seated in the middle, Pietro on my left and Wanda on my right. Tyr standing behind us.

The adults moved to action.

We watched the screens.

**Freedom can be taken away**

* * *

Pietro wanted to scream. Wanted to run. Wanted to get them all to safety. To protect his sister, and Tony.

Because 003 is Tony. They're the same person. Sure, Tony is more than 003, he knows more, but he's still the same stubborn kid who asked what he liked even if it hurt him to learn.

003 is Tony and they were both afraid. Wanda still cares for Tony. She'd already known that 003 was Tony even if it took Pietro so long to realise. Wanda said this boy needed us, and now he's stuck with us.

Because 003 grew on them and Tony is 003. They're a team now.

Even if Tony is not aware of it.

Not aware how both Pietro and Wanda always make sure he's in between them; that he's protected from all sides. Even the AI Tyr picked up on it. Seating itself at their back. Making sure that the side they can't see is also protected.

And now, a monster is haunting them. Pietro wants to take all of them and disappear. Maybe even Tyr. It had grown on him, made him think of 003 in the 'why' period. Maybe that's why Wanda doesn't mind it either.

They were not family, no; it was a strange form of friendship. Maybe it could turn into a family; there was certainly potential. Maybe that's why Pietro was hesitant to accept Tony. As 003 he'd turned into a completely different person. He looked wrecked, like a scared child, then, he was a fierce soldier, like he'd done it all his life and then back into a child.

There is a reason why Pietro punched Tony when he'd taken them out. To make sure he didn't have a meltdown, that 003 knew it was not going crazy, that it knew that they were real.

Okay yes Pietro panicked, but still. It worked.

Then, the Avengers, the robot that used to be crazy.

Just, living, without the tests and the orders. Eating normal good food and not feeling like lab rats. Having _freedom_.

It was, different. It felt more obvious how much they had changed.

How much their hate had taken away from them, how it had twisted them up inside.

Wanda, she was not how she used to be. Her powers had made her gnarled and wizened. Pietro himself can see how it could've destroyed her; how close it came, and he had allowed it!

Sometimes he felt like a bad brother. Like he could have done better. He knew he could have. It just… it was hard to say no; to not give in to his hate. Staring at a bomb, _the_ bomb, that had killed their parents, for three long days and hoping, praying, it wouldn't kill them too. Holding his sister and begging any god they could name to save them; to protect them from death's embrace.

Feeling his beloved baby sister tremble and shake, feeling her tears drip onto his shirt as the dust and rubble made it harder and harder to breathe. It hurt to think about sometimes.

He had let the grief and the hate consume him and had focused it onto that name, Stark.

He could have done better. He should have. He's trying to now.

Forgiveness comes in many forms. Even if someone wasn't at fault. Grieving comes in many forms too.

He is willing to try.

Maybe now, he can live like he should have. Like they should have.

**Freedom can be gained**

* * *

Steve took a deep breath. Staring at the elevator doors.

_Bucky_.

He didn't know. He didn't know his best friend was still alive and he didn't know he was in the claws of _Hydra_.

If he had known. If he just could have helped. If he had known he was still alive all this time. If he had reached a little further on that day.

God it feels like yesterday, when I watched him fall from that train. When he accepted it. _He didn't even look_.

Captain America. The perfect man. The Hero. Had just, abandoned him. How could he have abandoned his friend? What is wrong with him?

He was no hero. He didn't deserve to be a hero. Dragging his friend onto battlefields, letting him get captured, letting him face death alone, _abandoning him_.

That was Bucky, the one who had his back in fights. Who in the winters where Steve could've died, laid down beside him so that Steve would be a bit warmer. Who'd laughed with him, who'd fought with him, who'd died for him.

Steve was the worst person in the world

What about not leaving a man behind? He left his brother behind.

Left him to die. Left him to Hydra. Forsaken him to hell.

What kind of hero did that? What kind of person does that?

The Winter Soldier had been active even after the war. Was active till now. Had killed Tony's parents. He had _killed Howard_. Bucky did that. _Bucky_. Oh god how would he tell Tony? How could he look his friend in the eyes and tell him _his parents died because of his failure_. Because Steve was a failure and should have done better but was too stupid.

God he can't imagine how much that would hurt Tony. How much that would hurt Bucky. Steve had ruined them; both of them.

He's not a hero.

Yet he's so glad that Bucky's still alive; that his friend is here. How selfish can a person be? If Bucky had died then Tony's parents, Maria and Howard, would still be alive, but they aren't, because Bucky lived and Steve feels over the moon but also hates himself for feeling that way.

What kind of twisted monster was he?

**Freedom can change**

* * *

It was not disobeying. The Soldier was not disobeying it's orders. It was here to retrieve 003, but was allowed to not retrieve 003. So. The Soldier was just going to see if 003 was even there. If 003 was willing to come.

The Soldier was not disobeying orders.

The Soldier was curious if 003 remembered being Tony. If he had chocolate.

They were not disobeying orders.

If 003 was Tony now, then 003 was not there. Thus the Soldier could not retrieve him. Because it was not there.

Orders are obeyed.

If the handler was not clear it was not the Soldier's fault.

**Freedom can come from small victories**

* * *

" _Mom please stop crying, I'm just confused I'm sorry please stop crying-"_

_I knew it, I knew this was going to happen, why am I so fucking stupid, you knew it you knew it, yet you still believed for a second she'd be okay with it, what is wrong with you, take it back take it back you fucking idiot._

_Don't be a bother._

_Just survive for now, you'll get what you want when you're older, for now just bow down and say yes you fucking selfish idiot._

* * *

I felt conflicted.

The Winter Soldier wasn't that bad. He didn't hurt me, okay, yes he did, but not badly! He's actually pretty nice.

It's weird to see everyone ready to fight for me.

Like I'm worth that much.

Like I'm worth risking the wrath of a monster. Like I'm worth fighting a friend that you were thought was dead. Like I'm worth fighting a nightmare from the past.

A killer.

I… it's just weird.

People are risking their lives for me. I mean, it feels different. I'm worth protection in their eyes.

Why?

Going against the Winter Soldier. Against Hydra. It feels like everything changed; like life suddenly took two steps to the side and demanded that I follow.

_So many people missed me when I was gone._

So many people cared.

Sometimes it feels as if the days are passing by me and I don't know how to keep up. Do I deserve their caring, their love and worry? Everything is so different and I'm so confused. What did I do that changed how people perceive me so drastically?

Am I not the person I used to be? Do I want to be that person? Would my friends and family recognize me? Have I really changed that much?

Was the only thing holding me back, me?

I don't know and I don't understand.

Do I even want to go home anymore? Is it even my home?

Because home has changed. Home became a tower, became a warm laugh, a voice in the walls, the scent of pancakes, the sound of heels, a calloused hand patting my shoulder, a fire extinguisher, a camera and a potato gun.

Home is the sound of pencil and paper, a flash of red hair and a sarcastic comment, the sounds of shuffling in vents, a calm and steady voice, a booming laugh and the flash of green eyes.

Home is my friends, their laughter ringing in my ears, and the warm feeling that swells in my chest when I see them.

The meaning of home has changed.

Has it been that long, long enough that it could change? That it has changed. Is that bad?

Do I not miss everyone?

Yes, yes I do; so much. But absence makes the heart grow fonder right? Do I only miss them because I don't see them anymore? But I love them. I know I love them; I just don't understand.

I guess I can stay for a while. Just till everyone is safe. Yeah. Till it's all over. I'll explain everything and go back where I belong.

**Freedom unravels secrets**

* * *

The Winter Soldier entered the room where Tony and the others were waiting. Pietro inhaled sharply and Wanda tensed up beside me.

We watched as everyone in the room turned and froze.

"Where is 003?" The voice crackled over the speakers.

Tony stepped forward. "His name is Tony." He said, daring the man before him to object. He looked tall, even without the suit.

The Winter Soldier didn't answer. He looked around the room, his head stilling at Steve. Neither moved. The Soldier continued his assessment of the room, upon seeing Natasha he stilled again. Natasha was more tense than I'd ever seen her before.

Oh. The red room. Oh fuck.

The Winter Soldier looked back at Tony.

"Where is he?" He asked again. Standing in the same place and position as before, he looked like he hadn't moved a muscle.

Tony did not move, facing him stubbornly. "Why do you want to know?" He demanded.

The Winter Soldier looked straight at the camera.

"The Winter Soldier got the order to come for 003." He said, turning back to Tony.

He didn't say Tony... _he didn't say Tony_.

I remember this. How he said the mission objective exactly as was said to him. And then he did not go out of his way to add anything that his handler may want, just did exactly as he was told to and nothing more.

Bucky is still in there isn't he?

Tony crossed his arms. "You're not getting him."

Steve took a step forward. "Bucky?"

The Winter Soldier _jerked_ before stilling, looking at Steve. Really looking at him. Like he is familiar but _he doesn't know why_.

Oh no. Oh fuck.

I got up. Pietro immediately grabbed my wrist, Wanda shifted and Tyr moved closer.

"What are you doing?" Pietro asked, looking at me and back to the screen.

I looked at him, willing him to understand.

I jerked my head to the screen, looking him in his eyes.

"To help." I simply said.

Pietro shook his. "He's here for you. You have to stay here." He protested, his hand tightening his grip.

I smiled. "He's here for 003. Not Tony." I simply said and watched as understanding dawned onto his face.

"But how can you be sure?" He asked, tilting his head. His hand loosening it's hold.

I looked back at the screen, at how the man stood. At the raw confusion displayed on his face. It hurt me to see.

"Because that's what I would say if I was still 003." I answered.

Pietro's hand dropped. Wanda froze. I walked on. Tyr followed.

"I still got a bar of chocolate for him. You guys coming?"

**Freedom can be freeing someone else**

* * *

" _What do you mean you don't wanna marry when you're older? I'd love to have a husband!"_

" _I dunno, just don't wanna."_

" _Isn't that a bit weird?"_

" _Maybe, but single life forever sounds like a party to me."_

" _Don't you want any children?"_

" _I'm going to adopt. If I could and all."_

" _Don't you want biological children?"_

" _Have sex with someone? Nope nope no thanks."_

" _Wow. You really are a bit different."_

" _You have no idea."_

" _Anyway, can you help me with this part? Don't understand how that fits."_

* * *

I walked into the room with as much confidence as I could muster. The moment Tony saw me his body twitched in my direction; Nat managed to tense up further, Steve paled, and I, smiled.

Looking at the Soldier, whose eyes were focused on mine I saw he was scanning me, looking at who I was.

I had the chocolate bar in my hand, holding it up and out to him. His eyes zeroed in on it and his stance softened.

My smile widened and I walked towards him. Sitting down so not to spook him and holding up the chocolate bar for him to take.

He looked at me, around the room, and sat down by me. Accepting the bar and unwrapping it before taking a bite. I took out another bar and unwrapped it too, before starting to eat mine.

His eyes were still trained on mine, and I was looking right back in his, I would prove to him I was not 003.

We both finished around the same time. I looked him in the eyes.

"He's coming for me isn't he?" I asked. The soldier stiffly nodded. Eyes still on me.

I gave him another bar.

"Tony?" Natasha asked, her voice filled with tension,

I hummed. Still holding eye contact with the Soldier.

"Who are you talking about?"

The Soldier eyed her over my soldier, before flicking back to my face.

I sighed. "Demian Hound. Spy for Hydra. Turns out his dad is just as much as an asshole as he is. Both of them love mind games, even if the person in question doesn't even know they are playing" I answered.

"Hound… Hound. Wait, wasn't he here for your birthday party?" Asked Tony. Sounding pretty freaked out.

I shared a mutual _Look_ with the Soldier.

"Of course he was dad. He's a spy. A real fucked up sadistic spy. But still a spy." I said.

Tony made a noise that sounded like he was giving up on life.

I tilted my head. "How did you recognise me?" I asked.

"The Soldier doesn't have to forget about irrelevant things, your eyes and chocolate." The Soldier replied looking me straight in the eyes and taking the last bite of his bar.

The audacity.

"Do you want to stay?" The Soldier asked, leaning a bit forward. The gesture that normally would intimidate people, reassured me.

_He knew, he helped._

"Yes." I answered, straightening. "Do you want to stay?" I asked him.

The question caught him off guard.

"You have not been given the order to return. And well, if I change my mind, or if 003 returns then you would have to be here to retrieve him. But then you'd have to stay. So it is in the mission parameters." I said smiling as his eyes widened.

Looked like he hadn't considered it yet. That he had the choice to stay too.

He stared, looking at me, looking around the room and then back into my eyes.

"I… I. Yes." He said, nodding his head.

I grinned with a feeling of victory. Take that Hydra. You can't cage us. We escape.

"Did Tony just adopt him into the family too?" Asked Tyr.

Pietro let out a laugh that sounded borderline hysterical.

_**Freedom is the condition or right of being able or allowed to do, say, think, etc. Whatever you want to, without being controlled or limited.** _

* * *

"What do you mean the Winter Soldier hasn't returned?"

"He… he didn't leave the tower?"

"Why did he not leave the tower?!"

"We don't know!"

"So, is he still busy with the mission or is this another corruption?"

"We don't know sir."

" _Well figure it out._ We need him."

"Yes sir."

"Does this mean I can go now father? I've really missed talking to the bird."

"You can, just be careful. If it is corrupt, we don't know how it will react. Only his handler knows his phrases. But he's off the grid for some reason."

"Of course father."

**The hunt begins**

* * *

" _Are you not worried?"_

" _Not really."_

" _Why not?"_

" _Because."_

" _Yes?"_

" _Who says I'll live long enough for it to even become a problem."_

" _That's dark."_

_"It's called being realistic. Idiot."_

" _I thought that was pessimism?"_

" _Depends on how you look at it."_

" _Uh huh. Well, I'll worry about it for you then."_

" _Worrying means suffering twice."_

" _Don't quote Harry Potter at me! How do you even know that quote? You've never read or watched it!"_

" _I have my sources…"_

" _Fine don't tell me. I'll figure it out."_

" _I'd like to see you try."_

" _Oh it's on!"_

" _Not if I have a say about it, idiot."_

**Run**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: 
> 
> HELLO. YOU MAY BE WONDERING WHY I POSTED THIS IN NOVEMBER INSTEAD OF OCTOBER.
> 
> WELL, MY DEAR READER IT IS BECAUSE TODAY, THE THIRD OF NOVEMBER IT IS MY BIRTHDAY.
> 
> And since the world seems pretty bad right now, well. Maybe some of you need some cheering up. I'm looking at all of you.
> 
> So here! Did I end in a cliffhanger? Sorry, not sorry. Maybe I am. But, as my advisors have told me. 14K words are more than enough Def stop worrying about it-
> 
> Yeah... My friends are wild.
> 
> ALSOOOOOOO I HAVE A EDITOR??? B R O. I HAVE A EDITOR!!! THIS AMAZING PERSON WHO TURNS MY WRITING INTO GOLD???? LIKE I'D CONFESS MY UNDYING LOVE FOR HER IF I COULD AND ALL. 
> 
> *Hi guys! I'm Smallangryscot, nice to meet y'all! Um, lol, panic, I love wildlife, politics, music & reading, so, yay! It's been super fun working with Def on this, editing is a great way for me to procrastinate while feeling like I'm getting stuff done, hahahelphaha, so if y'all want me to edit for you hit me up✌️. Well then, ELEPHANTS ARE COOL, sincerely, Smallangryscot.*
> 
>   
> ALRIGHT EVERYONE DEFINITELY IF YOU NEED AN EDITOR SHE'S THE BEST LIKE W O W.
> 
> Oh and, no more trigger warnings, I may be scared one day I forget them and all. So I will just warn you now. You have probably seen what type of stuff I write. So yeah. After this chapter, no more warnings.
> 
> That's all from me today folks, cya at the next chapter!
> 
> Def out!

**Author's Note:**

> A/N:
> 
> Now that was fun.
> 
> I've been busy with this one fanfic for almost a year now. Same with a couple of others that are sure to follow this one.
> 
> It's been challenging since English isn't my first language and I'm not a great writer so I hoped it turned out all right enough. If you spot a spelling mistake please point it out. I did use several grammar and spelling apps to spot them but there's always that one that slips through. (I say as I edit over 700 spelling mistakes away(Thanks Grammarly))
> 
> I just really liked the idea of a person from our world falling into the marvel universe. Especially a teen not interested in a romantic pursuit and stuff? Since a lot of fanfictions I've read mostly end up with romance and stuff. Which cool, yes, hormones exist I know, but still. I just figured why not?
> 
> Priority's, I know.
> 
> So uhh what else? Right. So I've got like two other chapters after this one was already written up and I am busy with my fourth one. So I guess depending on how I want to schedule it and my motivation for writing it can change? A warning already I can be a pretty slow updater since life outside of writing exists. And school. I know right? Horrible.
> 
> Well, I suppose that was all I wanted to say? Yeah, probably. I'm hesitant about posting my other stories but I guess I will post them here too if this one does good enough.
> 
> This is crossposted on Wattpad and fanfiction. Under the name gamer_def for Wattpad and for ffn it's DefThrMasked. I also have a Deviantart for anyone who wants to know how the characters in this fic look like. 
> 
> Sincerely,
> 
> Def~


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